h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ben,

since it seems to be clothes that catch fire most easily, surely the best plan is to cook in the nude.

PP

Good idea, Mr P-P

My former housemate used to cook and skin beetroot in the nude.

Or so she tells me...

B

yeah yeah, whatever, i want to know more about Will Wheaton.

FABT

Not sure about cooking in the nude! It is annoying when something spits and you get hot oil or sauce on your t-shirt but just imagine that instead it landed on a nipple...

k

Cooking Wil Wheaton in the nude is ill-advised without asking his wife first.
I often eat in the nude. I'm a sloppy eater.

when i was really little mum and dad made me eat things like spagehtti and blueberries etc in not many clothes.

clothes and hair P-P: so you'd have to keep yourself clean-shaven...

Cooking in the nude seems likea bad idea, you could risk getting a fried sausage and roasted chestnuts.

...or burning your baps.

I love the way that none of this has got moderated...

Of course, one can't cook or eat without a towel.
You can't suck on the gravy stains unless it's present to catch some.

If you manage to catch your beard or hair on fire while cooking nude,
that means you need to put your glasses on.

if you're nude, is the beard and hair on fire from the fur coat and santy clause costume hanging over the chair? and how is a towel supposed to help you put your glasses on? all the towels around my house wouldn't enable me to pick up me glasses if i've got a towel in me hand

It sounds very much to me that a slight coating of a combustible material had built up on the clothing while cooking, either oil or perhaps flour of some sort. Not very likely that the flour would catchy while entrained in the fabric, but oils are notorious for it. The orange color of the flame seems to indicate an oil fire as well, though I can't scientifically say the reason as I'm going only by memory and experience. I think the fact that there was little scorching or charring of the fabrics themselves would indicate that something on the fabrics, and not the fabric itself, had caught on fire and burned up rather quickly. Luckily, the flame temperature of whatever substance had burned was apparently low enough and spread out enough to not generate enough heat to catch your clothing on fire! Of course, this little pet theory doesn't rule out the possibility of lint being the culprit at all. Strange thing indeed.

- JD (not a scientist)

I would have thought an oil coating would tend to stick any protruding fibres to the bulk of the garment, if anything, reducing the chances of combustion. It's hard to imagine an even coating of sufficient oil to make any difference to combustion being deposited without being noticable on the garment.

Orange flames could mean almost any kind of fuel - alcohol is the only common non-gaseous fuel I can think of that typically burns blue without encouragement.

fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz fuzz! A layer of combustible material coating whatever you have on

burn your socks and you'll see it! Not that I would advocate such foolhardy behaviour of course, especially not with man-made fibres. Cotton and (some) wool socks seem to be best.

k

Ah, but if you lost your glasses and you had a dirty towel, you could roll it up and use it for a stick, if it were stiff enough. And with our stove, you could smell it well enough to find it.

Now, if she had an inefficient gas stove that emitted a little bit that it didn't burn, then if she were standing right in front of it,
the emission would travel straight up and the flame would travel along it rather quickly, but I think that that would be blueish in color, unless she's wearing Chanel 40 weight, in which case....

Off to the test kitchen, Robin! We mmust strip down Alfred and his niece and find the truth!

I know I started out some of the sexual innuendo but you really lost me there with the towels.

I don't know what flame-retardents they use in Europe, but here in the USA, little kids' clothes are never, ever, ever made of 100% cotton without heavy-duty flame-retardent. It's illegal, and so it should be. Cotton, like all basically cellulose materials, burns amazingly fast and completely. Treated cotton doesn't, and tend to flame up, char, and go out. Polyester (a petroleum product which melts in diluted acetone, like acetone nail-polish remover -- though not as fast as nylon, which I used to melt in acetone for fun as a kid ) surprisingly, does the best in terms of not catching fire, and not staying lit if it does catch. Cotton/poly blends are required for kids' clothes.

The other thing is air, of course. A loose gown will blaze up where a tight t-shirt won't even catch. The biggest fire-hazard to children is adult t-shirts worn as sleepwear, because there's plenty of room for air.

I think you were very, very lucky. Bless you.

Gas if you're a gourmet chef, and wear a flame retardant apron! Electric if you live on sandwiches and spaghetti and fast food anyway.

I once burned all the nail-polish off my thumbnail, but only singed the nail (I was lucky, the polish went WHOOSH, and the nail was pretty well unscathed, but brittle and yeah, smelly) lighting the gas oven at home when I was a teenager. Those ones where you have to stick a match down a hole to light the gas ring... what kind of idiotic design is that?

Be careful, people. Burns are very bad news. If your clothes catch fire, the smartest thing to do is drop to the ground and ROLL around. Keep a fire-extinguisher in your kitchen, and also a large box of baking soda, for oil fires. Heavy wool blankets wrapped around you while you roll will help. Then call an ambulance. Never treat a second-degree burn, or even a bad first-degree burn with home remedies! The things I've seen...

Quincy

Maybe a leather-clad agcBen would be the safest bet. Mmmmmm.....