h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lettuce prays Nighthoover, who will protect us from spam produced from leaving email addresses at music sites.

All Hale!

Lettuce spry indede Oh glorous all powerful nighthoover protect us from all mannorism of spam (except the edible kind, obviousluy) nighthoover! nighthoover nighthoover nighrthoover nighthoover Oh O O O O o o o O O O o o o O O O o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r nighthoover when is the second coming!>?

Don't worry, they are fairly ethical at Glasswerk, I know the guys that run it. If you do get mail, use the unsubscribe instructions and they will remove your address. Although I doubt you'll get any in the first place.



Cheers to everyone for voting, and anyone that hasn't voted yet: -

http://www.glasswerk.co.uk/main.php?cat=thanks&page=2002cd

Sorry wrong link: -

http://www.glasswerk.co.uk/main.php?cat=news&page=2002cd

hoo themselves would be proud n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e > n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r oh show us the true hooverly ways of the nighthooverly and nighthooverable and how to exonerate our hooverable and nighthooverable intentions once and only on that at that time through which we show the nighthooverly an nighthooverly ways of the nighthooverly oh venerable as Keith and lamented as Bob the true father of the prophe nighthoover give us the breetherin of faithful nighthooverites that waitin the presence of bob and nighthoover to direct hte nighthooverable intentions to the mnost nighthooverable of outcomes Please come back nighthoover!!!! n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r

Be calm in the knowledge that the second coming is most often better than the first. Should there be a third and forth coming so much the better. A fifth and sixth may by an indication of some sort of problem.

All hale Nighthoover and the subsequent comings!

lettuce spry mrrly nighthoover ruler of the spaces behind pieces of furnature, where much dust does collect show us the path to true nighthooverly living and nighthooverability and our nighthooverly intentions reveal to us the true path of nighthooverlyness and revere thiself in our adorning crown of awaiting gaspachoa and marzipan oh rejoice nighthooverites in knowledge of second coming and nighthoovercoming as nighthooverable and nighthooverly and as such it is for it is that it is oh glorious day lettuce read from the great book:
The Proverbs


1:1 The Hoooverbs of nighthoover, the father of Vaccuman, king of the small spaces at the back of pieces of furniture where much Dust does collect, created as a consequence of the skirting board being proud of the wall by half an inch, therefore having the effect of preventing furniture from sitting flush with the wall;

1:2 Too know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of the Prophet;

1:3 To receive the instruction of the Prophet nighthoover, to hoover, and possess Nighthooverability Hooverability, and Nighthooverlyness;

1:4 To give Dust-free stasis to the Dust-ridden, to the Nonnighthooverly man Nighthooverability and Nighthooverlyness.

1:5 A wise man will hoover, and will increase nighthooverability; and a man of nighthooverability shall attain unto wise Hooverlyness and Nighthooverlyness:

1:6 To understand Hoover, Hooverlyness,, Nighthooverlyness and Nighthooverability, and the interpretation; the words of the Prophet, and their Nighthooverly and Hooverable sayings.

1:7 The fear of the Dust is the beginning of Hooverness: but fools despise Nighthooverlyness and Nighthooverability.

1:8 My son, hear the instruction of Nighthoover, and forsake not the law of thy Hoover:

1:9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

1:10 My son, if Nonnighthooverly sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

1:11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for dark and dank filth, let us lurk presently for the Hoover-innocent without cause:

1:12 Let us swallow them up alive as the dirt; and whole, as those that go down into the pub:
1:13 We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with Hoover:

1:14 Cast in thy hoover among us; let us all have one Hoovermandment:
1:15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them and their dark dank filth of much Dust; refrain thy foot from their Dust-ridden path:

1:16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed Dust.

1:17 Surely in vain the hoover is spread in the Guide of any Dust ridden except for those that Devote.

1:18 And they lay wait for their own Dust; they lurk privately for their own Nonnighthooverlyness.

1:19 So are the ways of everyone that is greedy for Nonnighthooverlyness; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.

1:20 Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets:
1:21 She crieth nighthoover in the chief place of Hooverability, in the openings of the skirting board: in the city she uttereth her words, saying, 1:22 How long, ye simple ones, will ye loath Hooverability and the Prophet? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate all that is hoover and hooverable in its endorsements and mask.

1:23 Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my Nighthooverlyness unto you, I will make known my Nighthooverability unto you.

1:24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my Hoover, and no man regarded;

1:25 But ye have set at nought all my nighthooverability, Nighthooverlyness, and would none of my reproof:

1:26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your Dust-fear cometh;

1:27 When your hoover-fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a Non-Hooverable spirit; when distress and Dust cometh upon you.

1:28 Then shall they call upon the Prophet, but the Prophet will not answer; they shall seek the Prophet early, but they shall not find the Prophet:

1:29 For that they hated Nighthooverability, Nighthooverlyness, and Nighthoovermandments of the mighty one, and did not choose the fear of the non-hooverly dust-removal products:

1:30 They would hear none of the Prophet, nor that of the High Priest and his most Nighthooverly, Nighthooverable and Nighthoovermantra counsel: they despised all the Hoovery Nighthooverness and nighthooverability of the Prophet, the high priest and the Devotees.

1:31 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own Dust, and be filled with their own Dust filfth and general all round dirt that hath collected through their non-Nighthooverly mannerisms.

1:32 For the turning away of the Prophets declared High Priest shall slay them, and for those who do not recognise that the High Priest speaketh of the Prophet in truths shall be destroyed in turns of Dust.

1:33 But whoever so hear come unto the rule, and words of the Prophet nighthoover, shall dwell safely, and shall be free from the fear of the evil, Dark, Dank, filth of the Dust, which otherwise lay waste to the non-believers in their NonNighthooverly ways of Nonnighthooverlyness.

2:1 My son, if thou wilt receive my hoover, and hide my hoovermmandments with thee;

2:2 So that thou incline thine ear unto Nighthooverability, and apply thine heart to the way of the Hoover that cometh at night;

2:3 Yea, if thou search after Nighthooverability, Nighthooverlyness, Nighthooverly ways and the one true mighty prophet called Nighthoover, that is of the highest Nighthooverability of all, and liftest up thy voice for the Prophet;

2:4 If thou seekest Nighthooverlyness as silver, and searchest for Nighthoover and Nighthooverability as for hid treasures;

2:5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Prophet’s words, and find the Nighthooverability hooverly ways and Nighthooverlyness in truth of Nighthoover.

2:6 For the prophet Nighthoover giveth Nighthooverability: out of Nighthoover’s Hoover cometh Nighthooverlyness and Hooverable things of all manner, freedom from Dark, Dank filth of that which be Dust. 2:7 Nighthoover layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: Nighthoover is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.

2:8 Nighthoover keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of the Hoover of nighthooverability, hooverly ways and Nighthooverly peoples.

2:9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and Hooverability, and the way of the Hoover; yea, every good Hoover.

2:10 When Nighthooverability and Hooverrlyness enter into thine heart, and Hoover is pleasant unto thy soul;

2:11 Discretion shall preserve thee, Nighthooverability shall keep thee:

2:12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil Unnighthooverly man, from the man that speaketh of Dust things;

2:13 Who leave the paths of Nighthooverability, to walk in the ways of Dust and dank really rather horrible dirt;

2:14 Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the unnighthooverlinessness of the non believers;

2:15 Whose ways are dirtyed, and they are Unhooverly in their paths:

2:16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with Hoover words;

2:17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her Nighthooverlyness.




Oh glorious words from teh nighthooverly of all nighthooverly writtings wait and patience is in that we wait for the return and the second third and ya the forth coming of the one true prophet nighthoover n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r n i g h t h o o v e r
rejoice for we have pate

Appendix:
The Proverbs:
1.23 (a)
"If you can't find a socket flange, use an old cloth and some pipe cleaners"

...and it was so . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . .. . . . . .
n
i
g
h
t
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n i g h t h o o v e r .

lettuce spry to mrry nighthooverment oh nighthoover oh nighthoover nighthoover where are you ?

*falls off chair in a most unseemly fashion*

"The Hooverbs!"

*continues rolling round laughing*

*preys*
"Oh Lord deliver me from the strange woman who would flatter me with Hoover words."




~jwf~

It is very moving, would you not agree? Such are the writings of those touched by the might of the hoov and the nighthooverly ways. Reminds me of an hotel.
You see, in the foyey was this large plant, only it said it was a gateway through which one could enter a kitchen.
Oh, not any kitchen you mind!
Nothing less, or, indeed more, than the muffin utality resurch kitchen.
The One and the Same!
Which was the point at which I remember the woman, behind the faulse palm tree sprouting form the porters head, yes, the same porter who had previously not drawn more than a single breth whilst swimming over at the municiple.
The woman, and her hoover words and ahtred of the hoover and all that was nighthooverly was astounding.
The bouncer, until recently concealed behind a light switch, caught the words, and casting aside the reminants of a giant tortose shell boiler suit, begun to remove the afore mentioned evil from teh building.
For that is the way, and the way was not good until one takes the hoover and nighthooverly words to ones heart The bridle path stretched off into the distance, open and inviting and yet dark and sinister. The trees, which grew here and there along the visible length of the bridle way stoped over the way, casting shadows in teh evening light.
As I stood and mumbled about raincoats and pewter dressing gowns, the noise begun. Softly at first, but then growing and grooming and groaning and pruning.
In a state of previncal living and distressed jeans, I moved aside, knocking over the vase recently displayed at the local municiple garbage dump.
As the source of teh sound neared I noticed a piece of loose thread, extending itself dangerously form the inside pocket of my barbour jacket.
I immediatly leapt into action, a small tree, and eventually the stream.
It was at that precise moment i decided never to leap again.
Regaining composure, my lighter and a small clod of earth, i examined the thread, and saw that it was indeed thread, and then, realising the sudden and unexpected appearance of a barbour jacket, on my very person I moved into a small flat in Kensington.
Such tedium as was previously only dreamed about awoken by the dorment truths of forbidden fantasty did not deminish the dosile nature of the local badger population. Which, to this day, regularly frighten members of teh public, publicans and tourists alike.
It was one such republican, called Dave (as is the way of things), was responsible, so it was stated for single handly dispensing of the afore mentioned barbour jacket, which was not mine.
Returning, at last to the broken remains of the vase, the sound, quite absent, was no longer an issue, and because of the changing and ever increasing prices in teh housing market, i returned, only slightly more drunk, and proceded to walk up the remainder of the bridleway.
The bridleway was, in fact, not a bridle way, but the short driveway leading to the garage which was itself attached to the side of the insignificent unsupprising house.
So, casting aside reminants of the previous dullsome references to the hotel waitress with the large wart, the door did open, and light did emit, and I did enter.
I think it was at this point I passed out.
Was it the liqure? Was it the supprise? Or, and perhaps more likely, it the Scandanavian lifeguard, behind the conifer hedge with the canister of nerve gas?

Well, according to "Woman and Home" magazine, the number of Scandinavian ;ife guards hiding in, or near, hedges, is on the increase. "Sven" from the port of Eisberg, claims:

"I don't know, I used to like saving people from the pool, drinking Schnaps and playing Scrabble - but there is just something about hedges that, well, draws me to them..."

The magazine recommends that we increase the police force by 400%, arm them all with cattle prods and stun guns and set them loose, "to sort it all out". And, on page 34, it has a nice recipie for Jugged Shrimp.

Mmm, I enjoyed hte recpie oh nighthoover cannot the second oming occur at the London meet?

Is this the true messiah? Or merely a reproduction/fake/forgery?

http://users.senet.com.au/~rfrancis/oils/vacuum.htm

Oh most Hooverishness, is this in fact the first Nighthoover (prays B) icon? Lead us not into templation. Guide us Oh grate one!



Should this be the first model of the first Nighthooverish stainglass in the first Holly Temple?

nighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoover canitbe? nighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoover oh might nighthoover, ruler of the spaces behind pieces of furnature, where the dust does collect, give us a sign, and lettuce know

Could not the painting itself be a sign? Even though it doesn't say *Way Out*?

These imponderable worry my sole.

nighthoovernighthoovernighthoover
would
nighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoover
surely
nighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoover
give a more obvious sign? say a twenty foot tall neon sign above the BBC building with the words "nighthoover waz 'ere" ? lettuce spry mrrly to glory of nighthoover oh nighthoover who so gladly did dispense of the dust
Lead us astray from the path of the unnighthooverly
lead us not into dayhoovertation, but diliver us from dust
for yours is the nighthoover, the nighthooverly and the nighthooverable way of dispensing of the dust and dark dank of the dust and all that is dust and dustly and unnighthooverly nighthoover, creator of the "beats as it sweeps as it cleans" show us the guiding darkness to the night,
lettuce not hoover during day, but only at that time of hoover, the nighthoover time lettuce find the path to true nighthooverment and nighthooverable existance oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh h ohhohoasdfaisdfhoaiefra;ewlsdj nighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoovernighthoover driven mad with worry