h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh Nighthooverish one. nighthoover and yet not Nighthoover. What do you know of the ebbing and flowing of the air of the night? Are we to believe you know of the original nocturnal hoovering? That which briefly blessed us with it's gentle night movement and like the moon-lit breeze passed from human sight but not senses? Oh false one, why do you torment those who would take on the Nighthooverish mantle? I fear a false prophet who would shine with the light that is not from the moon. Begone child of the light and false prophet of the night!

"."

oh how true

Take comfort, ye who may or may not be the true Nighthoover. Your manner indicates you very well may be, not to mention History itself. Dig deep into your Nighthooverishness, meditating on past movements of air in cool still nights. Think of the soft sussusuration of soft breezes on warm summer nights. See the slow movement of moonlit wind gently rustling the leaves, the grass, your hair. Take comfort that false prophets meet a sorry end, usually in broad daylight.

your clear wisdom excemplify's the nighthooverly brother lettuce pray and pray for the return of the one true nighthoover, and an end of nighthooverable mannorism to the faulse nh's

Lettuce pray indeed.

Oh great Nighthoover, of whom there is only one,
Let us not fall prey to those who would hoover in the day.
Let us only behold the great hoovering of the clear, crisp night,
Ignoring all who would claim nighhooverishness as opposed to thy great Nighthoovering.

Aimin'

<zen"."

I FEEL THE POWER!

Oh nighthoover, the only nighthoover, the only true hoover. Deliver me from all my suck and blow sins, and greet me eternal salvation within your eternal spelling mistakes. Lead me not into multiple posts, and deliver me from my daily threads. For you are the nighthoover, the only nighthoover, the only true hoover, that could ever be hoovering in the night.

Aiming.

n i g h t h o o v e r

*
**
*
*
**
*

n i g h t h o o v e r

I meditated a while, and had a vision

And tell us brother, what did you see?

Yes, as the night stretches across two great continents, tell us Oh Nighthooverly One!

Yes, as I slip into nighthoover unconsciousness...tell us!

In wonderment and amazment, I sat, and meditated on nighthooverable things, and lo, before my closed eyes was resolved the image of the prophet, the hoover, surrounded in darkness and being moved in nighthooverly ways by what I can only pressume were the hands of the mighty one, our lord nighthoover and there was a voice, an inner voice, calling out to me, making implicit my direction and course, how I should be and become most nighthooverable and nighthooverly in all that I do and the words were good for they were the words of the prophet Lettuce rejoice in the work of nighthoover!

And how brother, do we become more like nighthoover?

by following the path to true nighthooverment and as such adopt all that is nighthooverly and nighthooverable in our everyday actions, but, but, most of all, we search, search, and search, for the one true prophet nighthoover, the ruler of the spaces behind pieces of furnature, where much dust and dirt does collect, we must meditate, on the prophets words and actions, and of course, we must all, and frequently of course, devote ourselfs to several hours of nighthoovering every week to show our devotion and nighthooverable intentions.
Lettuce read:

Hooversis.

1:1 At the start, determined as not being without doubt at a point intermediate to, immediately before, or at the opposite of, the end, the end being any point at a current time not immediately after, preceding or any region directly at the intersect of (a minimum of) 2 points not at the start or end, there was Dust.

1:2 and the Dust did hold much filth and was dark and dank, and the prophet did see that the dust was dark and dank, and without form, and the prophet did move over the Dust and the lands about.

1:3 and the prophet said, who hath left the power lead in such a state of entanglement?, Let there be disentanglement: and there was disentanglement.

1:4 And the prophet saw the disentangled power lead, that it was good: and divided the power lead from the plug.

1:5 And the prophet called the power lead Cable and the plug Plug. And the day after going to the Pub the prophet did awaken with the first hangover.

1:6 And the prophet said let there be an appropriate time for in which to successfully dispatch of the dark and dank Dust of much filth, and let it divide pub closing from sunrise.

1:7 And the prophet made an appropriate time for in which to successfully dispatch of the Dust which be both dark and dank, and hold much filth, and it did divide the time between Pub closing from the time of sunrise: and it was so.

1:8 And the prophet called the time between Pub Closing and Sunrise Hoovertime, and the next day the prophet awoke with a hangover.

Actually, fellow brothers, I feel we should read another passage:
Hooclesiastes;
1
:1 The words of the Preachers, the followers of nighthoover, king of all.

1:2 hooverly followers of Nighthoover, saith the Preacher, Nighthoovers of Hooverlyness; all is hoover.

1:3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the hoover?

1:4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the Hoover abideth for ever.

1:5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun go down, and has knowledge to Hoover at that sacred place of Hoovering, at night where it was that the Hoover of the night, and the prophet, Nighthoover arose.

1:6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to how much flatulence has brewed.

1:7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not as full as a full Hoover; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return like the dust from a full Hoover bag, again.

1:8 All things are full of limpid dusty wretched junk; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing dust, nor the ear filled with dark dank wretched nasty things that lurk behind the cushion on the sofa.

1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is dust is that which shall be dust: and there is no new thing under the dust except that for which all true disciples must search, absence of dark dank dusty things of filth and disgust.


As nighthooverable and nighthooverly persons here in we should do well to remember all such words and abide by their biding, for this is indeed a route to nighthooverlyness

Yea, verily!

n i g h t
h o o v e r

Oh fellow hooverites, our patience shall surely be rewarded, us who stand (or sit or lay), in the cleanliness of our prophet, our devotion complete, let us lay waste the hooverenvy, and be as one with our hoovers, as it should be N
I
G
H
T
H
O
O
V
E
R

This evening, in the privacy of my chambers I will with all reverence:

Nighthoover

but I will *never*:

nighthoover

lettuce read and contemplate the words of the great book:

nighthooververbs:
2:7 Nighthoover layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: Nighthoover is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.

2:8 Nighthoover keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of the Hoover of nighthooverability, hooverly ways and Nighthooverly peoples.

2:9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and Hooverability, and the way of the Hoover; yea, every good Hoover.

2:10 When Nighthooverability and Hooverrlyness enter into thine heart, and Hoover is pleasant unto thy soul;

2:11 Discretion shall preserve thee, Nighthooverability shall keep thee:

2:12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil Unnighthooverly man, from the man that speaketh of Dust things;

2:13 Who leave the paths of Nighthooverability, to walk in the ways of Dust and dank really rather horrible dirt;

2:14 Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the unnighthooverlinessness of the non believers;

2:15 Whose ways are dirtyed, and they are Unhooverly in their paths:

2:16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with Hoover words;

2:17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her Nighthooverlyness.

with such wise words and insight into the great prophet, how can the unnighthooverly lay waste their nighthooverable intentions with such inreverence to teh prophet?

lettuce read and contemplate the words of the great book:

nighthooververbs:
2:7 Nighthoover layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: Nighthoover is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.

2:8 Nighthoover keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of the Hoover of nighthooverability, hooverly ways and Nighthooverly peoples.

2:9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and Hooverability, and the way of the Hoover; yea, every good Hoover.

2:10 When Nighthooverability and Hooverrlyness enter into thine heart, and Hoover is pleasant unto thy soul;

2:11 Discretion shall preserve thee, Nighthooverability shall keep thee:

2:12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil Unnighthooverly man, from the man that speaketh of Dust things;

2:13 Who leave the paths of Nighthooverability, to walk in the ways of Dust and dank really rather horrible dirt;

2:14 Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the unnighthooverlinessness of the non believers;

2:15 Whose ways are dirtyed, and they are Unhooverly in their paths:

2:16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with Hoover words;

2:17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her Nighthooverlyness.

with such wise words and insight into the great prophet, how can the unnighthooverly lay waste their nighthooverable intentions with such inreverence to teh prophet?