h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh yea, thriley so lettuce n i g h t h o o v e r beware the dust which cometh in the night and the bunnies that doese bring it hither lettuce salad

i am having doubts...

yea, verily i say unto you... a bunny came to me in the night and it said to me...

do not dust up my bunnyleavings for it is said by the prophet Snaily, as said unto him by the Great Bunny: Dusting Your House Is Bad For The Environment:

When you don't dust your house, you give life to millions upon billions upon tens of dust bunnies. Dust bunnies eat old carrots which takes food away from snails. Snails are then forced to eat sewage. Snails eating all the sewage makes the water cleaner. 70% of land is water and 75% of animals are water, that means 145% of everything is cleaner. With all the water being cleaner & less smellier, the hobos would no longer die when drinking from the gutter. They would reward us by carrying us on their backs, eliminating cars & making the air cleaner. If the air was cleaner we could breathe easier and cough less. That would mean less people would need medicine, so they could stop cutting down the rain forest looking for miracle drugs. Then all the world: water , air and trees would be safe. Or you can just dust those bunnies up and kill us all.

Thus said Snaily to the bunny who came to me in the night, as spoken, yea verily, unto him by the Great Bunny who sees all and leaves all fluffiness under nook and in cranny!

. ... .. .wanders through the room, back of hand pressed to forehead, head thrown back in anguish. .. . . .

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH

what can i believe in? who can i believe in? when can i believe it? and where? and ohhhhhhhhhhhh when?

. ... .pauses by the victrola to tearfully put a battered and well-worn record on... . .

. .... .turns up the volume to maximum.. .. .

. ... ..the crescendos of Vaguener's 'Kill the Wabbit' crashes into the room. .. . .

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh waily waily waily

there is no nighthoover nooooooooooo there is a nighthoover noooooooo it is just that i am not worthy noooooo waily waily waily

ohhhhh that there was some sign some small indication that is all is well in the night ohhhhhhhh

. ... .fluffykerfuffle resumes her sorrowful pacing, tearing her hair. .. . .

. ... .the vagrant breezes of her passing through the room waft the discarded tresses under the furniture. ... .

surely a sign oh hooverly one for as it is told so it is tol and it is told that it is told of itself unto those who listen n i g h t h o o v e r

. ... .jumps up and turns the victrola off. ... .


listens

I hear hoovers

listens some more




yessssssssssssssssssssss

i do too!!

could they be harbingers?

surely a sign? yes yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes we must await and earwax the bunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunnybunny hoover of the night
*holds aloft the holy moustach of hasstlehoff

. ... .Harbingers of S/he/it That is to Come!

every day every street pavements the same, foot fall rail fall concrete post and strain
voices in the throng, voices through the noise voices of the people from out of the airless void
sounds of cars and traffic, busy rushing folk
six pints of best bitter at the corner in teh pig and the poke

aaaaaahhhhhh ommmmmmmm

verily verily and forsooth

the Folk in the Poke


boom bada boom bada boom boom
BOOM

zen away zen today zen the hoover zen shoes beweare the dust bunnies and the leftover kebab n i g h t h o o v e r lettuce zen

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm


ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm omg they're all arououound!!! ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm ahhhhhhhH...ommmmmmmmmm

. ...they're gone

hH...ommmmmmmmmm





uh oh

Who? What? Where?...

I can hear the hoover

Braise Pea!

I have seen the personal space of our mighty Nighthoover, brothers and sisters - I have seen the personal space of U183456 - I have seen how its contents have been deleted by the h2g2-masters - and let me tell you, brothers and sisters, at first, I was upset. I was MAD! How dare they - I thought to myself - how DARE they remove the contents of the prophet's space?! It is blasphemy! It shall not go unheeded!

That was what I thought, my brothers. That was what has gone through my mind, my sisters.

But then, I thought some more.
And what I thought, brothers and sisters, o you faithful believers of our Prophet Nighthoover, Who Is Above All Other Prophets Related To Home Cleaning Appliances, what I thought was that unknowingly, the Towers have done a Good Thing.
This, my brothers and sisters, is the closing of a circle.

How does this thread begin, do you remember? Of course you remember! The thread begins with the holy words 'i want 2 cancel this account what 2 do'.
And now, the account has been all but cancelled. It is still here, among us, but it is clean and empty - it is PURE, I tell you!
The request - our prophet's very first words - have been answered. This is a great omen.
But we must also remember the prophet's second post: 'so i got stuck here'.
YES, he is stuck here among us - invisible, but nonetheless he is here. And he shall return, and he shall resurrect his account, as has been said in the Holy Writings kept by our brother, priest 2legs.

Hear me now, brothers and sisters! He shall return. This is but the BEGINNING of great deeds to come.

Amen. Lettuce spry.

Maybe he's hiding at the other end of this page scroll... Nope, he's not here.