h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's got a nice ballady feel to it, though.
Why do we use the phrase 'run the gauntlet'? There was that daft program with the same name. What it has to do with leather glovey-things I don't know.

"Fun Sized Mars Bars"
are of a size that is not much fun, and are neither from Mars nor bars of Mars.

Similarly, "Galaxy Minstrels"
do not wander the Galaxy spinning out whimisical songs- though they really should.

"Utterly Butterly":
simply isn't.

However,
"I can't believe it's not butter",
though wierd, is in fact a perfectly accurate self-reflexive name describing an entity that is neither butter nor capable of belief.

Why don't flights of stairs flock on route to the south?

x x Fenny (briefly)

I´ve heard Einstein actually wanted to call it the Theory of Invariants in the first place. But a friend of his convinced him the other was better.

Are you sure you're not thinking of Bombay Duck - an Indian dish made of dried fish?

Re: earwigs. I understood that they got their name because people believed that earwigs lived in the ear (a person's, an animal's, whatever).

Right about Fun Size chocolate bars. I don't buy them on principal.
Amusement arcades are really depressing, specially the stupid prizes (life-size china clowns and tigers, anyone?!)
You can now buy a type of yarn called 'I can't believe it's not Cotton'. Honestly.

Agree with you on the Amusement Arcades- not only are they not amusing, they very rarely come in the form of arcades. But I suppose "Depressing Sheds" while accurate, would be a bad name for business.
"I can't believe its not.." What I great idea- sell something that is not the something you want, having as the selling point the sceptical doubt that it might, just, actually be the thing you wanted after all. If it works for tubs of yellow coloured lard, it might well do the trick for synthetic fibres too. I hope not, though.

Earwigs. A lot of people think that earwigs are called that because they go in your ear. This is not true. Other people think that it is a corruption of ear-wing because of the shape or their wings. This is also not true. The arse-wiggle (ers-wig) is actually the correct derivation of the word.

Why do we say that someone went "fishing for lobsters" when clearly, lobsters are not fish? In fact they look nothing like fish - different species and class of animal entirely!

Why is it that career guidance councillors only end up with (relatively low paid) jobs in teaching?

Fishing for compliments is worse.
If you want a compliment,
you are not going to find it in the sea.
Do Crab Apples only move sideways?

The bird called the Wheatear has got nothing to do with ears or with wheat (nor indeed with ears of wheat.) It was once known as the "White arse" due to the white feathers at its rump/tail. Like the earwig, its name changed over time into something which now seems to hava a completely different meaning from the original.

Actually I seem to remember an earwig that crawled into my ear. And my mom thinks it´s happened to her as well.

It´s true, if career guides knew anything about careers they would be head of some big company wouldn´t they?

That's the same with all those 'unfallible' lottery systems. If they really did work, why should the creator feel the need to let other people participate?


Another one:
blind passengers aren't necessarily blind

Nor are the blind drunk..
And the stone cold sober can often be quite warm- even cuddly.

also blind driveways...... why on earth are blind people driving?!?

And why does the government waste so much money on zebra crossings when you hardly ever see any zebras in the city?

You would have thought they would have learned their lesson from the whole 'pelican crossing' fiasco.
And sleeping policemen- why aren't they out catching the real criminals, instead of lying in the road causing a nuisance for traffic?

Military Intelligence
Shiskine Golf Course, (It's in Blackwaterfoot)
Democratic Government

Responding to a post a while back, Peking Duck IS a duck dish.

The Battle of San Juan Hill, for which Teddy Roosevelt is so well-known for, actually took place on a hill next to San Juan Hill.

Didn't the Hundred Years' War last a bit longer than 100 years?

The American dish Chicken Fried Steak contains no chicken.

Pineapples are not apples, nor do they come from pine trees.

Wampus