h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

JEleen, I can understand why you should think that. He thinks stress is causing those hallucinations, or getting me into a state that is congusive to hallucinations so not totally stress as such. He is the shrink who thinks it isn't Bi Polar but sever depression and sever cronic Generallised Anxiety Disorder. Aparrantly the 2 anti anxiety meds are actually mood stabilisers which should balance a tendency to hypomania I sometimes get.
The hallucinations are a difficult one as perhaps not totally schizophrenia but could always head that way if get out of control. I realise that what I hallucinate isn't real, sometimes they are less definate and semi ghostly figures anyway. The more extreme ones are at times of stress, perhaps even the Church concert was a stressful time too as many people there. I will have to see how it goes, he is actually quite observant and you don't think he is doing anything then asks a question which you know he is asking when he already knows the answer but is leading me to fnd my own solutions to problems or see why something is happening to me.

Ok hun, just had to throw in my 2 cents.

I'm lucky, I've been fairly stable on my meds for some time now.

JEllen, you are right to mention it, I have been wondering exactly what it is myself at times, particulary when the hallucinations are more definate, invasive and I am close to losing touch with reality, usually in extremely stressful times like medical assesments by unknown people and far from home.

It's hard for us SS that have been in the system for sometime and know that anti pyschotics can stop delusions and hallucinations. Your doctor has one POV and he maybe right because he meets you face to face and has all your notes, but I agree with JEllen if this goes on for months you should maybe ask to see someone else. We're just trying to support you because of our own experiences. But yes its not easy because you want to trust these people who are supposed to be helping. But don't ever forget that you can be assertive and if you feel things are just *drifting* you can insist on getting other help.

Regardless of which course of treatment you follow, I hope that you get some relief soon. I've been reading this thread a while, and things are obviously hard right now. No one should have to battle hallucinations so often. I really do hope you feel better.

Thanks all,
what is really worrying is sometimes, only sometimes, I look upon the hallucinations as not unpleasant things, the Alien for instance, which is spooky. The Alien is more a cartoon type alien with big black eyes and a slightly cartoonish body so not scarey lke something that expolodes from your chest. I don't want to end up like that Britan's Got Talent woman with the problems who introduced her invisable friend to other contestants, lol!

Hallucinations can be comforting sometimes, in an odd way. Sometimes people even miss some of them, as the person gets better.

The shrink(phychiatrist) has put me on a new combined Depression and General Anxiety Disorder medication. He said if it doesn't work he will try something stronger. Since both the anxiety medications(mood stabilisers) are at top amount and the new anti-depressant contains anti-anxiety meds too, then the new stronger medication will have to be Elephant tranquilisers, lol!
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I can see where shrink is coming from as clearly I have bad anxiety~ head 'Tics', a lot of shaking, facial grimacing, limbs jumping etc, rocking back and forwards, sluring when stressed etc, etc.
All are signs of anxiey, the rocking is a dead givaway!
I get the inpression that shrink thinks sorting out anxiety, if actually possible, will either remove or lessen other symptoms, particularly the extreme Paranoia hopefully.
Might try to go swimming this morning. It is getting to the very busy time of year so see how it goes. I would preffer it quiet to be honest which seems to involve swimming in the dawn chorus or when birds are just going to bad at near dark! I have a free disabilities swimming pass which helps as not only saves money but allows visits to be experimental to find best time without wasting around nearly £5 a time. I know pool won't get admission charge from me so loses but I am unlikely to be able to pay the admission fee constantly so wouldn't go anyway. At least I might still spend money in their coffee shop, etc. I think I read somewhere that due to high running costs if swimming pools (it is huge), if a pool does actually make money, it will be from only the final 10% of customers so need to get as many as possible through door to survive.
Giving free swiming disability passees might lose some money from a few customers in begining but those customers might become longterm customers after free pass expires when realise benefits of swimming to reduce stress/depression.
Of course, actually giving a free pass in short term might reduce chance of a person becoming a needer of a lifetime free swim pass so lose pool more momey in long term.

Went swimming this morning, first time in yonks.
Didn't actually swim for long as have memories of swimming too far, too soon in past and sore muscles.
When I went in I said I had a disablities free swim card. I passed it to her and she looked at it. I wasn't sure whether she hadn't seen one before or was wondering why someone who was walking and talking (comparatively) okay needed a disability free swim pass. I am sure I saw her checking card like the airport passport checking customs officers do and looking at side to see if I had slipped my photo into someone elses card, lol!
Of course her checking card made me nervous and started slurring and head ticking. Next time I will just show them my left arm if any doubts occur. My arm silences any doubts of normality pretty quickly , lol! I have also found it to a be a conversation killer pretty quickly. I was talking to an older lady the other day and she have you hurt your arm or something. When I said I did it to myself due to stress and anxiety she pretty quickly changed conversation, perhaps due to her embarasssment.
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Anyway swimming went okay and I sat in seating area for an hour or so to pass time and Ticked, shock, talked to myself, etc merrily away. I also got sly looks as usually do. I know am a handsome figure of a man, lol, but the reson they were really looking of course was to try to find out what was wrong with me. I expect the lists were being checked mentally in their minds~ MS, MND, Touretts(sp?), etc but expect wouldn't realise the real reason was anxiety/stress unless seen many such cases before as medically confusing even to my Neurologist, GPs, etc.
I really am not bothered about people looking anymore as expect I would be looking at someone else like me to as a matter of interest, but not shock or fear. I do think that when I am ticking, shaking and saying "Visions of God" repeatedly it worries some as might wonder if anything violent might happen that could be dangerous, if they are close enough to see my arm they might be even more concerned, not realising self harm is nothing to do with others and just an extreem coping mechanism.
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I do think my condition, which worsens when stressed in busy places, is likely to ensure I always get pleanty of room around me when in busy places. See, everything has a silver Lining lol.

i forgot to add, the swimming went well and it felt like a beneficial morning as got me out of flat in sunshine and more importantly doing a normal life activity, but avoiding too much contact with people. I think I will go again, being free helps to keep costs down of course. I don't think I will use pool cafe again as £2.70 for a coffee and a cakish thing is a lot of money!

I am worse edward. Virgin Mary talking to me a lot.
A theory I am her son. Thinking it is all normal. I will tell shrink in about a week.

Sorry to hear that.

Take comfort from this, though...not all of you is tripping away. On my Classical Music thread you come over as ordinary, intelligent, mainstream...NORMAL!...well. So all that stuff is in there and will come to the fore again. Does that make sense?

The lady at the pool...could have been anything...a thousand and one theories...
Maybe she'd forgotten her reading glasses?
Maybe she'd suddenly remembered she'd left the gas on?
Or...indeed...may she was a small-minded idiot.

Y'know...I don't know if the other sufferers can back me up:
When you get down to it...if you're open...the people you talk to really don't have a problem with psychiatric illness.

We all need to see an ad someone sent me. It's really horrible at the start...but please see it through:

link to ad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kh2SpZP4Cg

Thanks, hey it is not all bad as not everyone can go shopping with Virgin Mary. It could be worse, it could be God talking to me and look what happened to Joan Of Ark, lol!

That's the spirit!

She had me over for tea, once. The house she's reputed to have died in is near Ephesus, in Turkey. There's a lovely tea garden next to the sepulchre. Lovely lady. I was explaining to my daughter the other day that she's a Christianised version of Sophia, goddess of wisdom. Same as Athena, to whom the nearby temple, one of the Seven Wonders, is dedicated.

Athena? Don't you mean Artemis?

***

>Y'know...I don't know if the other sufferers can back me up:
When you get down to it...if you're open...the people you talk to really don't have a problem with psychiatric illness.
<

I think it very much depends on the person you talk to. In general I keep very quiet, way more quiet than I have here because its just the internet. My experience is that people don't actually say what they really think. In any case psychiatric illness is an incredibly wide ranging thing so what you tell people will vary immensly, depending on how it affects you individually. I tend to err very much on the side of caution in real life unless I'm talking with someone else that has a psychiatric label.

It's been a huge and difficult issue in my life - you find you're own way, mistakes and all.

If I had a casual enquirey I would say anxiety causes my head tics and shakes. Hallucinations are commonplace to me but others might not understand so would speak less of those.

>>Athena? Don't you mean Artemis.

You're right. Bang goes my pseudo-theory.


SS:
Hallucinations are actually very common. Not everyone who has them is clasified as ill. (Don't get them myself)

>>It's been a huge and difficult issue in my life - you find you're own way, mistakes and all.

Well said.

My own way is to be open and naively assume that nobody cares. Works for me - but then I know some nice people. Might not work for everyone.

There is part of me that thinks I have a public duty to be open, too. If a successful, white, professional male who is largely responsive to treatment and has only ahd a few spells in a psychiatric hospital can't be...what hope is for those less fortunate?

Don't see why your theory is wrong. I've mentioned it myself on TGD thread, having also visited. It was a centre for the worship of the female for aeons before Mary. The Artemis statue in the nearby museum being covered in many breasts or eggs, as some say they are; I believe anhaga suggested they were eggs on TGD thread, when it came up there.