h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me, moany? Never

I feel the need to lie because I've always been a very honest person and looking back that is probably one of the big reasons for my history with women. I tried kissing the Blarney Stone, but don't know if it has worked. And besides perhaps Ben, girls do not seem to find intelligence attractive. Just the word physics tend to be enough to make them literally look like they are about to turn around and run.

I find intelligence attractive, but I almost always end up with stupid men

Xan - intelligence is sexy; physics is not.

Facts of life, I'm afraid.

B

Physics is so sexy!

LuckyStar BSc in Physics and Applied Maths.

Well, why didn't you sleep with Xanatic then?

Would've stopped him moaning for a while.

(Well quite a lot longer than a while, if scurrilous hearsay is to be believed)

B

If I was 20 years younger.....


(Oh, and unattached....)

a) Age should be irrevelevant, surely? There's a 15-year age gap between me and thee, and - well - I would...

b) You were bloody single when Xanatic started applying for likely bits of crackling on this thread.

B

'taunts B with the fact luckystars promised her a snog at the summer meet'

Already has his camera ready

Suspects that RF may have his camera ready as well






Xan: I suspect that you are unlikely to find many female physics fans, in your average nightclub. Why not look to see if there is maybe a local astrological society at an observatory or at the uni or something. You'd be more likely to meet girls that are into science there.

*Counts slowly down from 10*

I didn't just mean me. Girls dislike me for several other reasons anyway. I just think that girls seem to like guys in spite of their intelligence, rather than because of it. Judging from the girls and smart guys I have met.

Well, Luckystar did give me a kiss at one of the meets

Why is it that when I am with some girls, I do my best to try and flirt and all that without any form of results. And then some other guy comes along and sweeps them off their feet in a matter of minutes?

thats life...

"Girls dislike me..."

They don't, Xan. You just think they do. Perhaps you don't smile enough.

Girls, by definition, are women. They are peace-loving, friendly and wish you no harm.

Xan, what girls like is confidence. All you need is a bit of luck to boost your confidence and you'll be beating them off with a stick! That's the hardest part of the vicious circle to break, but if you can manage to fool yourself into being confident then it's amazing what difference it makes.

There's a whole world of difference between the way girls relate to me when I'm confident and feeling sharp and good about myself (even as far as the looks I get in the street and on the tube) compared to when I'm feeling bruised and battered and insecure.

Unfortunately I'm more the second thing at the moment. If you remember that girl I was talking about back in post 7755, the one that nothing had happened with, but I lent her a book and her friend was convinced she liked me? Well, her friend rang up our house (because this girl had asked her to) one Thursday night and left her mobile number for me. I tried ringing said mobile a few times - it was turned off from Friday through to Monday. I left one message and sent a text, and got a text back on Monday. Tried ringing a couple more times and it kept ringing through to answerphone. Then got a text saying sorry she kept missing my calls bu she was busy at the moment - so I though I'd cut to the chase and send her a text asking her out for a drink. And got one back saying she'd really liked talking to me the other week but wasn't interested in meeting up at the moment. I mean, que??? What was all the business about making sure I had her phone number then?

Anyway, her mate (who was seeing my housemate, so I saw her quite a lot) convinced me that she did like me, and was shy and felt under pressure going out for a drink just with me and it being like a date. So her friend eventually managed to engineer a situation when I could meet her again as part of a group thing. And it was really nice talking to her again but the spark didn't seem to be there this time.

And a couple of days later I found out why. It turns out she'd been dating someone (which explains why she felt uncomfortable about going for a drink with me) and had decided to start seeing him properly. The thing was, if her friend hadn't been telling me she liked me, I'd have binned the whole business weeks ago. And what the was all that buisness about giving me her phone number if she wasn't interested?

The whole rejection thing of having my hopes raised twice and then dashed made me feel pretty rotten. Women *may* be peace-loving, friendly and *wish* me no harm, but they certainly end up doing it to me.

Ironically in the middle of all this, her friend (let's call her girl two) and my housemate split up - yet I stayed friends with her girl two. We get on pretty well. She's said she's supposed to be getting back together with her boyfriend, but I (and indeed my housemate) have wondered if she's the one that might turn out to be interested in me the end... She certainly did say, while she was encouraging me not to give up on the situation with girl one, that she was doing it because she (girl two, that is) had seen something about me and thought I'd be good for girl one.

Anyway, we've swapped texts and emails here and there but I'm not going to try and force that situation - but it's possible that I'll bump into her again as she is a friend of a workmate of one of my friends. That's how I met her in the first place.

Oh, and by the way, there's a whole second situation going on at the moment that I'm not going to even *start* to go into. It's another saga as involved as this, but I'll leave talking about it until it's resolved one way or the other. But it's not looking too good right now.

A very odd thing happened to me on Friday night though. At the very least, it's taken my mind off the second situation that's been getting me down. It was with another of my friend's workmates, who I've fancied ever since I met her last August.

On the night I was first introduced to her, it was in a club and we just said hello and didn't really see each other again that night - and she met the bloke that became her boyfriend for several months. But we always got on very well whenever we encountered each other and I thought there was a bit of a spark between us, and for a while I hung on in hope that it wouldn't last with her bloke and I'd be able to leap in.

Looking back, that seems to have been posts 7019 and 7041... by the time of the second one I'd decided to leave the whole business as they seemed to be pretty established as a couple.

Then in January I bumped into her again, and they'd split up. Great, I thought - maybe something can happen now. Trouble was, it was him that had dumped her, and she was still really into him so no chance. I've been out a few times since then with a group of people including her, and last time she seemed a lot better and to have got over him.

In the meantime though, I'd concluded that she probably doesn't fancy me and it wasn't really likely that anything would happen between us, so it was best that I forget about her anything other than a friend. And, a couple of weeks ago, while we were all out we bumped into her ex in Shoreditch. Apparently since then she's seen him a few times.

Anyway, to get to the point. Went to a pub on Friday night where one of my mates was DJ-ing, and she was there. I'm going to Glastonbury with her and another of her friends (who I've become very good mates with because she fancies my DJ-ing mate) and a whole bunch of other people in a couple of weeks time. So we had a really nice chat about that - we both wondered about it might be a bit full-on going there with a group of 20 hardened party animals (we're no slouches ourselves, but sometimes you just need to chill out) and arranged a code word to use if we need to get away from the group and just go and hang out in the Stone Circle or something.

So, the end of the night came as it does at closing time - and it was time for the usual round of goodbyes, I said to her I was heading off with the boys (she lives in South London, me in North) and, as per usual in these situations, gave her a hug and went to kiss her on both cheeks.

And this is the thing. Having kissed her once on the left cheek, I was aiming for her right - accurately, too, I'd not had too much to drink - when she moved her head and kissed me on the lips. It happened so quickly and I was so surprised that by the time I realised it was happening it was over, so I didn't respond like I usually would. I mean, it was just a peck. But it seems like extremely unusual behaviour in this sort of situation.

And here's the really odd thing. Her friend told me on the way to the bus stop that she's just got properly back together with her ex, and she wasn't going home from the pub but was going to stay with him - in North London. But she hadn't mentioned any of this.

Anyway, both judging from the situation itself and also from the last few months, I'm sure it doesn't mean the thing I would like it to - i.e. that she fancies me, for one thing her friend doesn't think she does and she likes the idea of the two of us getting together. But equally I'm sure it ought to mean *something*. It's just I've no idea what. Maybe she just had a bit of a rush of blood to the head, or something.

Anyone got any idea?

Wow Number Six, you sure have a lot of 'projects' going on. My guess is that she herself might not know exactly what she wants. Although it is easy to read too much into situations like that (I always do). The fact that she didn't mention getting back with her ex seems a bit strange. Maybe she wants to keep some options open?

Many 'projects' indeed... It would be lovely, just for once in this world, to meet a girl that I like who fancies me and isn't seeing (or sort of seeing) anyone and has no baggage from previous relationships to deal with. And while I'm dreaming, I'd like an Aston Martin, as well.

The thing is, the first project I mentioned is dead, the second one that I alluded to is on hold for a few weeks and isn't looking healthy, and this last one is one that I'd abandoned...

I suspect, too, that she might not know what she wants. Yet I'd become pretty sure that I wasn't on the shortlist! But I'd certainly be happy to be an option kept open.

Yet thinking back to Friday, I did sort of comment to myself how she looked really happy and sorted out. So maybe that might be the effect of being back with her bloke, you never know.

I think, as you say, it's best not to try and read too much into it. But what's really puzzling me is that surely an unexpected kiss on the lips from a woman ought to mean *something*? Perhaps the best thing to do is wait until we're off our faces at Glastonbury, and ask her then...

Trillian: One thing I have learned on here is I seem to meet different women than everybody else on this site.

Number Six: That thing with the girls kissing you seems pretty good. Just because she is back with the bf doesn't mean her feelings for you are gone. But I know that thing with the phone numbers. I think it does mean they have someone, but want to keep their options open.