h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My mate was scared of spider because his mum was. He used to find it really embarassing that he and his bro had to ask me, a female, to deal with spiders we found in his house.

Mel

I hate it when people do this: they scream "Spider!" and make you come and dispose of it (kindly). That would be fine, if they didn't stand there whingeing all the time you were trying to concentrate, instead of going into another room where they couldn't see it. And no, it's not that they're paralysed with fear.

That's me - the pathetic, hysterical female standing on a chair screaming "spider" and then giving exact instructions of how it is to be disposed of to avoid it making a quick get away.

Once a very large black spider ran under my bed and I insisted that I could NEVER sleep in that bed again unless it was removed. My hhsband obliging scoured the underneath of the bed looking for it, but without success. Realising the implication of me never sleeping in the bed again, he suddenly shouted "Got it!!" and ran over to the window and threw 'it' out. Suddenly, at that moment the real spider ran out from under the bed and I realised he had only pretended to catch the spider - I never fell for that one again!!

O dear, then there are more things you cannot do again.
Very little baby-spiders move away from their nest (to avoid being eaten by hungry siblings) by weaving a thread, hang on to it and being carried away by the wind. Part of your daily quotum of spiders may be a thread hitting your cheek, with the spider ending in your mouth. While you irritated rub away the thread, you swallow the spider. Luckily your stomach quickly disposes of it.

But I agree, the large black ones can be a real nuisance. As soon as my wife sees one, I have to get kill it, or she will not go back into that room. And it can take a lot of moving furniture around before getting it.

Far from becoming hysterical when faced with a horrible eight legged B*****D, I find that there are two forms of self defence.

1. The long nozzle attachment on the hoover.

2. The Boot. Thrown with enough force the size eight and a half boot can knock over an elephant, never mind kill a spider.

And what do you mean "What's wrong with spiders?" What's right about them? Their legs are far too long. Their bodies are all black (usually) and hairy like a malignant discarded raisin. They have too many eyes. The sight of them running puts me in mind of someone typing with bent coathangers. And then there's the 'squatting' thing where the spider just stands there and bobs up and down on its freaky legs as though its doing push ups.

Ghastly creatures.

I know and use both your defenses. The problem is, that with a running spider they are difficult to aim correctly, with as result an escaped spider that may return anytime.

What's good with spiders? A lot, if they are outside my house.
The get rid of an incredible lot of biting, stinging, sucking and other bugs.

I like spiders, that's all- even if one had jumped on my face in the night, I could never kill it. Sometimes I find them unnerving, but also fascinatingly unlike any other creature. And they can be a source of comedy.
I wanted to know the reasons why no one likes them; I'm not on a quest to raise spiders to a higher level of universal esteem. (But what about those pretty little round ones with short legs and sleek silver fur? Bless.)
You describe them very well, especially the bent coathangers.

Houseare
They eat the disease spreads, flies.
So I never clear away cobwebs.
That's my excuse, anyway
I can't bear tarantulas though.

Cobwebs are quite pretty; I'm not bothered by tarantulas as they're so slow and lazy.

I like spiders. I don't want one as a pet, but feel they do a very good job of spidering and so earn their keep. We used to have regular nightly visits from a big wolf spider. It would come out from behind our stove and take a stately tour around the room, completely ignoring and being ignored by our cat (with which, I'm sure, it had made an unholy alliance!). I've been privileged to witness two web spinners mating. It is a most delicate and anxious performance, full of timid approaches, web plucking, frantic tussling and a dramatic last second escape (by the male) I imagine it would be, in spirit if not in fact, like approaching your mate for a leg over when she/he has a wild migraine.

I read recently that we swallow 8 or 9 spiders a year, on average, when they crawl into our mouths as we sleep. Sleep tight, all you arachnophobes!

That story never goes away. Having debunked it on one thread, here's the disappointing truth again: it was made up by an American reporter as an example of what people will believe if it's from a reliable source or if it sounds plausible. She didn't do it intentionally to deceive people; it was part of an article, and there were several more 'fact'oids. So arachnophobes can sleep tight, as can those of us who don't like to cause the death of poor little spidlings.

Marvellous. This thread has just brought back the memory of that adorable scene from Speilberg's 'Arachnophobia' where the audience is honoured with a shot of a huge spider scuttling up a dead man's nostril and then re-emerging a moment later out through his open mouth.

I'm going to go away now and store myself within a hermetically sealed lead box.

Spielberg did it? It seems a bit childish for him. The ending was just ludicrous- a screaming spider? No.
Repeat- the spider-swallowing story is SIMPLY NOT TRUE! (Go to Snopes (link from my Space) if you're still scared.

As to the validity of the spider eating quote: Just how in the name of Beelzebub's Nipple Clamps would you measure such a thing as amount of spiders eaten whilst sleeping anyway?

Clearly preposterous.

Thanks for pointing out the facts on that one Mandragora.

As an arachnophobic I'd like to ask whether other people physically cr*p themselves upon seeing a spider (in the same way that being threatened with a gun would make you foul yourself) or do you, as I, feel more a deep-rooted sense of absolute revulsion (like being shown naked pictures of Ricky Lake)?

Ooh - in through nose and out through mouth? Never saw the film and I don't think I want to!

I'm the only woman I know who's not afraid of spiders, which has often put me in the position of escorting the spider out of the house. But on the subject of breathing them in, when I spoke to the doctor last week about an Ear Nose and Throat problem, he mentioned that he'd seen someone on stage who'd swallowed a large gem. The gem had subsequently made its way through his sinus and out through his nose... Ooooh Uck!

x x Fenny (that's disgusting!)

Spider in the bath? Leave a towel draped over the side so that the poor thing can escape the white hell into which it has fallen. It will soon scuttle back from wence it came.

Fear of spiders is simply fear of strangeness. The universe is a strange place. Get use to it, and remember, a towel is a hitch hiker's and a spid's best friend.

djs

Marijin's right. Anybody that eats harmful and nasty bugs (this goes for another feared creature--the bat) is a friend of mine! That said, however--y'all knew this was coming--I have a particular type of big, fast, hairy, gray-brown spider in my apartment that stands its ground when I go to pick it up to put it outdoors. It bites the hand that's trying to save it.

I think the key words were "read somewhere". True or not, it discomfits arachnophobes and that, for some strange, possibly psychopathic reason, is part of my raison d'etre. In fact, large spiders are roasted and eaten in several countries, from Mexico to Thailand. Shrimps, crabs, lobsters, spiders... they're all just tasty arthropods.

Yep, and someone's going to say 'they taste like chicken'. (What did they do before chickens had been tasted?) I love bats too- they're very accidental-looking. God is not only a Marks & Spencer sales assistant, they're a taxidermist in the tradition of Warburton.

On the "it tastes like chicken" comment, my brother has eaten virtually everything edible (spiders, snakes, monkeys, jellyfish, lizards etc). Having sampled crocodile (and aligator), he decided it, too, tasted like (tough) chicken, and so now when asked what something tastes like, instead of saying chicken, he says crocodile - it soon shuts people up!!

(p.s. he doesn't like spiders either)