h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, my dad sometimes sends patients to two dermatologists who work together. One of them is called Dr Nouar.
So that often leads to the following :

My dad : "Vous avez vu le Docteur Nouar?" (*)
Puzzled patient : "Euh, non, il était blanc!" (" no, he was white!")

(*) "Did you see Dr Nouar?", which sounds exactly the same as "Did you see the black doctor?"

Grand Baba
Does that in French translate as ?
In German it´s "EEK, don´t touch it"

My kiss,your choice.

Not sure what that means, Pit...

Oh, well...

which dress shall I wear, the blue or the white ?
blue!
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WHITE ?
put the white on then!
WHY! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST THE BLUE ?

"Does my bum look big in this?"

NOT to be followed by "Your bum looks big in *anything*"

Still trying to get over myself

http://www.flickr.com/photos/41379991@N04/galleries/72157622829667618

Hogster, one can but wonder how you manage to combine being married and still alive.

By knowing when to stay quiet!!

when my mate phones, he always says "hello! is that you,are you in"
NO I'm a bloody recording

Get yourself an answering machine that only speaks Turkish.

There's always ... (while typing on the computer, no doubt).

Radox, there is no limit to what you can do with just one small typing error. I just had half an hour chatting to a very nice old man who had a new computer program that dialled phone numbers.

MIND THAT DOOR!

I wouldn't tread there!


noticing that you already have

do these trousers make my bum look big??

NO!!!! your bad diet and lack of exercise makes your bum look big!!!

Oh I try to make redundant warnings a trademark.

'Mind that door'

'Watch out, the window's open'

'There's a step there'

'Dont trip up the kerb'

Annoying? Yep. Do I mind when it's done to me? Nope. I expect mild but friendly abuse when I do it and I give the same when it's done to me.

As for women asking your opinion on clothes etc. All they want to know is if you approve, do YOU think it's a sexy dress but appropriate for the setting? They know you probably wont offer an opinion unless asked for it. They also want to know if there's anything glaring terrible about it that they haven't spotted.

I wonder if political philosophers avoid using the Northern Line and it's mantra to 'mind the gap'?

Saying "Ooh, I bet that hurt!" when someone is writhing around in agony after whacking their thumb with a hammer...