h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is this the "Tell us a joke" page I'm all confused, think I'm having a moment

Millions of peaches. Peaches for me.

I wondered where you were It's been soo quiet and peaceful, no needles digging me

masochist.

Shaun the sheep favourite movie is Shaun of the Dead.

Squirrels and Penguins are getting together to take over the world. The sheep are going to watch while they do it and then make a movie out of it.

True story:

A Swedish woman has been married 29 years to the Berlin wall one has fallen in with a fence.

Actually, shes cheating on the wall with the fence i believe.

who's this ?? do we know him ??

where you bin Chedda, you got lost or something

Megachedda my old matey how's it going?

SCHLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP

A computer spell-checker run amok christened several Pennsylvania high school students with new — and in some cases unflattering — last names.

Middletown Area High School's yearbook listed Max Zupanovic as "Max Supernova," Kathy Carbaugh as "Kathy Airbag" and Alessandra Ippolito as "Alexandria Impolite," just to name a few.

"It was kind of funny, but kind of rude at the same time," Ippolito said.

The mistakes were found on four of the yearbook's 176 pages, co-editor Amanda Gummo said.

Ed Patrick of Taylor Publishing, which printed the book, said his company is responsible for the errors and will provide free stickers printed with the correct names.

"It happens all the time, every year," Patrick said. "Look at any yearbook in the country."

iTS GOING VEIts going very well thank you, i took a quick delve into saneness for a few days but i missed the pink elephants and squirrels dancing on peoples heads.

"Do you want to be stroked?"
The cat answers "Meow"
"Do you want to be a mouse?"
The cat answers "Meow"

Bizarre London

However, more unusual items that have been handed in over the years include a stuffed puffer fish, human skulls, breast implants and a lawnmower are just some of the unusual items commuters have left behind on London's tubes, trains and buses.

zuggle zuggle zuggle!zergonk!




went C.P.U again

I get left bhind all the time

Customer: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Customer: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Customer: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Customer: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Customer: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Customer: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Customer: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Customer: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Customer: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Customer: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Customer: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Customer: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[Waiter leaves.]

Customer: Waiter! Now there's a mosquito in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10.00
Editors Note: Bug in the soup........included at no extra charge (will be fixed with Tomorrow's soup of the day)

Is this the "Tell us a joke" page? I really am confused now I have too many pages open. Really should get on with some proper work

Imagine sheep wearing jumpers staring at you smoking cigars and drinking sitting on bar stools being waited on by penguins on roller skates dressed in butler suits and it is all happening in your front garden.

Watch out for the urban squirrel fighters armed to the teeth with handbags, brolleys and rolling pins. They wear the Citizen Smith uniform and spend most of the time watching Big Brother and getting ideas on how to terrorise humans.