h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm at that age where I'm not strong enough to do a lot of the physical things I've always done anymore, but I'm too young for anyone to feel sorry enough for me to offer to help. *sigh*

Don't start wearing Old peoples colours i.e Pastles and the like! also become really cantankerious, I have and it works,

Repeat after me: "Get off my lawn, you punk kids!"

The old ladies around here go in for lots of those fussy floral prints for tops and jackets. And they all wear polyester knit pants in..you guessed it..pastel colors. Oh! And headscarves. The boxy ones that tie under your chin.

This is going to keep her jeans and t-shirts. I have a couple of visors, but I refuse to wear a scarf tied under my chin. *digging in heels*

CZ, I think I'll invest in a shotgut. I can step out on the porch and wave it about while I shout at the neighborhood kids. They really do play in my yard quite a lot. This is a legitimate concern.

No no no... the water hose is the appropriate weapon to brandish about when saying those words.

Speaking of which, I really need to invent that sprinkler/decibel meter combo for those darn thumper stereo cars that go up and down my street. They always have their windows down.

Dang. A shotgun would probably be more effective.

I want one when you get it perfected. It needs to go off for motorcycles, too.

Edna Jester is a fine role model.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/01/01/2009-01-01_89yearold_sues_neighbor_over_ball_in_law.html

Funny, I was just thinking about awkward ages when I was dragging my right foot behind me this morning. What I need is a cane. It might look strange with jeans and a t-shirt, but a cane must be the way to go. That's what I'll wave at the kids.

What's the female form of 'curmudgeon'?

Good grief The only people are going to come out of that with anything are the lawyers... again. What a waste of time, energy and money. Emotional distress for having a handful of balls and frisbee land in the garden? Get over it lady! Of course, the news piece might not be telling the whole story and these might be the neighbours from hell but I doubt it - that would have been too juicy a morsel for any news organisation to pass up. If this old lady was sprightly enough to get out there and grab the ball before the neighbour got to it she's sprightly enough to toss it back over the fence. What a grouch.

You know that baby boomers will settle for nothing less than canes. I like the one with flames painted on it that Dr. Gregory House uses. http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o320/lucy_edward/cathy_cane.jpg

Course we're joking here. I actually like the kids who live across from me. And I'd rather have them in my yard than in the street.

Lil, I used a cane a couple of years ago when I was having so much foot pain. I got no more sympathy with the cane than without it. Sheesh.

Yes!! I have my dad's old wood canes in the attic. I'll sand 'em down, lay on some gesso and do something in acrylics. Maybe I could paint ivy growing up one of them.

Oooooooooooh. That sounds great. You're right, of course. If we're going to be using a cane, it needs to be distinctive.

Carve and paint a cane so it looks like a shotgun...?

Lil, my maw used the term "ol' biddy" a lot.

*tries out a few experimental 'cluck's*

My BiL uses the term "old hen" a lot.

As I get older, I find myself being increasingly attracted to older women. It might have something to do with eyesight.

Older women are very sexy. They have experience