h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.tom-phillips.info/story/story_julie.andrews.turns.69.htm

The Julie Andrews link is great. Thanks, AB.

Nick sent me this.

Don't laugh.... it’s nearly all true!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first
3. No one expects you to run - anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of braincells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

This reminds me of a cartoon my mother sent me.
There was a picture of several bemused senior citizens, carrying placards which read ...
What are we here for?
What do we want?

This was shortly after she went on a demo against the proposed closure of her local library.

* holds smelling salts under Hyp's nose

*Swoons*

One thing for certain Hypatia.
A lot of awkward people reach that awkward age.
I'm of an age where everything is awkward.
http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/age/

I was wondering if you could get colourfull cathaters, i.e purple or bright red, sun shine yellow, ok this leads me into the next question

"what colour would you choose"

mine would be purple


rjr

That is another fun link, AB. It is always wise to maintain a sense of perspective about our situations, ageing and otherwise. Each stage of life has advantages and disadvantages. There are many things about my life now that are better than they were 30 years ago. We lose, we gain.

Yellow, I think, RJR. After all, a day without sunshine...

You are so right Hypatia. Each stage reveals something new.
It is important however to remember how old you are at each stage, because each stage has it's own set of rules and regulations.
At one stage I could put my left toe in my right ear. At the current stage when I am putting my left foot into my left sock I think 'is there anything I ought to do while I am still down here'

Many people dread retirement and have a difficult time coping with it when the time arrives. I'm genuinely looking forward to it. For one thing, having enough time to do a proper job again with my garden will be wonderful. I want to start sketching and painting again. Then there are all those books I plan to read. But primarily, it will be so nice not to have the responsibility and headaches of my job. Let someone younger with more energy do it.

Not the best of financial times to be retiring but if your plans are sound, go for it. In the UK we are keeping kids at school longer then expecting them to work longer for their pensions. Note I say 'keeping' because they are no more ready for making a living than if they had left school at 16. Education is about life it's not something that can be taught.. You'll find it is great to have time on your hands. It takes a bit of time to get used to, but when you fully grasp that your time is your own. If your needs are simple the retirement is a wonderful phase in life .
Gardening is an occupation that never ends so don't go mad and try to get it complete. Do a bit, then step back, lean on your spade and enjoy the fruits of your labour. My tip for retirement is always have a job to do. Doing what you like to do is always more enjoyable if you are doing it instead of a job you don't like.

Old librarians never die, they just close the book.
Old gardeners never die, they just 'spade' away.

A couple I picked out from here:-
http://www.tom-phillips.info/list/list_old.html

crivvens!

Very dear Hypatia.

Why on earth are you talking about retirement. Does one have to retire?

Surely not. !!

with affectiom

Christiane
Ar80

double crivvens I decided to retire whilst still worlking, you get paid just for turning up and the bosses don't even know what your up too

Oh Rev. Jack

Are you teasing again?

Regards

Christiane
AR80

Is this where the oldies hang out? I am heartened by #19 and #20 though. Bring on the young men!

yup! we hang out here *psssst* we never grew up, we grew out!

its all true! ask anyone who know's me............ I retired at the age of 28, 9 months, 28 days 12 hours 31 minutes 37 seconds, I remember it well it was so nice to stop worring about everything and start to enjoy stuff

AB, I am still a couple of years away from the earliest time I can afford to retire. And I may not be able to swing it then. It all boils down to health insurance. I may have to keep working until 65 because I can't afford the premiums for private health i surance and in the US, we don't qualify for the government's retirement medical plan until age 65.

Technically, I could retire this spring when I turn 60. That's the earliest age when I can get both my late husband's pension and my own. But both would come at considerably reduced rates. I'd need a part-time job as well. If I can manage to hang on until 65, I can collect his full pension. My library pension increases quite a lot during those 5 years, as well. It is based on final salary and total months of service. It will increase about 50% in those 5 years, provided I get a modest 3% cola each year. Anyway, as badly as I want to retire, I can't really afford to just yet. If I retire at 65, I'll get about the same take home income as I earn now working full time.

Christiane, I don't "have" to retire at any given age. The library doesn't have mandatory retirement. But I "want" to retire.

well you could allways do what I did, just turn up for work and have a nice chat with your mates and not do any work at all, just start "praticing" being retired, worked for me

I've been looking forward to retirement ever since my first day at work after leaving school. The idea of retiring to my garden is one that greatly appeals to me Gonna grow some fruit and veg Hyp?