h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Looks down at the object in Butch's.*

Well, that's one way to get a head in this world.



har har har har

*Jesse notices the flaming object on the explosives pile and dives on top to smother it.*

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

*Another wet object lands in Butch's lap.*

*Hears the bang and boom and nearly falls off of Bonnie's back.*

What was that? Can anybody see anything?

*Looks down into his own lap.*

Well, two heads are better than one, I suppose.

Well Butch ma pappy alwus said that 2 heads are better than one.

Haw haw haw haw.

Ah reckin that yew shud put the slow fuses in the barrels instead of the fast ones - that shud doo the trick. Here gimme the dang fuses and ah'll show yew how it shudder bin dun right furst time.

*Bart takes a short fuse, cut it down to a nub and sticks it the remaining barrel. Then he takes his cigar and places it on the really short fuse that is left*

*The last barrel blows up immediately scattering Black Bart over the pass. Bart's cigar is propelled at subsonic speeds towards the Ranch*

I don't what all the noise is about, Witty, but it sounds like AMJC and his wind problem again.

I ignored it last time out of politeness, but this time its just too much!

*tries to shout in the general direction on AJMC, but view is somewhat obscure by tumbleweed*

AJMC, have you no control at all?

There is a better field of vision in a Centurion tank, I know cos I've been in one!

/* Zeppo barks at all the noise, and his barking echos off the hills. He barks at the barking, and the barking barks back increasingly, until it sounds like the entire pass is surrounded by dogs. */

Did you see that? The top of the mountain just exploded!

*clings to her horse's neck as she rides through the pass*

i really hate it when mountains start exploding... it's never a good thing*

Carmel, little red wagon, and pugs dash along, doing their best to keep up with the horses and succeeding not at all.

My but their seems to be quite a bit of debre in the air and much of it is on fire. Dear, dear, dear.

*realizing a need to protect herself, she produces a tiny, dainty parasol from the contents of the wagon and opens it over her head.*

Pugs - WoooWoooWooo!!!

Mountains exploding? Are we near any volcanoes?

*tries to see what is going on but view is still largely obscured by tumbleweed, which is just as well otherwise she would feel a strong urge to put the kettle on to boil. Not a clever thing to do if surrounded by tinder dry brush*

*Keeps his head down and his horse moving. A piece of flaming barrel flits past, setting light to the Tumbelweed disguise. Munchkin begins to flap wildy while trying to still ride fast*

[Closeup of X.]

[X] .....

[Cut back to the rest of the goings-on.]

*Munchkin starts shedding bits of burning tumbleweed, resisting the urge to get all God like, but the flames keep leaping on to pieces that are still attached*

*A third head lands in Butch's lap. This tips him over the edge of sanity and he jumps up and starts juggling the heads, while laughing maniacally. He then drop kicks them into the pass and starts dancing and firing his gun in the air. He eventually collapses, panting, and spends several long minutes contemplating a grain of sand on the ground.

With a huge sigh, he come back to himself, pulls himself together and stands up. The posse is mostly through the pass now, but he is gratified to see one of them appears to be on fire. He whistles to the Apes and signals a retreat. He then hurries down the path to where his horse is tethered and gallops off in the direction of the Ranch.*

*Emerges relatively unscathed from the far end of the pass, with only gouges in his shoulder from Pierots talons. Sees the RRR gateway and grins. Out of the corner of his eye he sees some movement in the distance and he turns just in time to see a lone horseman emerge from behind some rocks, gallop a short distance in the open, then disappear behind some trees, heading northwards.

GL turns his horse to look back at how the others are faring. Breathes a sigh of releaf at not seeing any fallen tumbleweeds.*

[X slips in behind the posse.]

*Rides up and throws himself at the ground, rolling around to try and put the fire out*

*is glad munchkin is putting out the fire, as she was beginning to feel as though the group was about to recieve the Ten Commandments*

*starts shedding tumbleweeds*

I say ! what is going there, what !

To pug reasoning any humon lying on the ground must want to play. They begin to climb on Munchkin. Carmel finds a fire extinguisher shaped water gun in her wagon and used it to render some small bit of aid, but she is not strong enough to pump it up to particularly high pressure and he help is limited.

From the vicinity of AMCJ's knee there is a muffled "He...took...my...doggie...............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"