h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*jet boot's his way out out of the door [finally] and heads in the general direction of the desolate battle field*

DD

*belatedly realises that NYC has kicked him and starts hopping around on one leg*

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow !!!!

(Pulls three very big guns of a random sort, and throws twelve signed photos onto the counter. rushes out the door , hair streaming behind, to a forum he was already in.)

*still hopping painfully notices that Red Fox didn't take any ammo or energy capsules with him*

Typical villain

*Red Dog is involved too much with making snide cliches at Red Fox to notice that NYC has regained consciousness behind the opposite side of the counter and has lobbed a grenade in his direction*

Silly hero..

*Red Dog feeling rather smug inadvertantly hops onto the grenade, propelling it at a fair rate of knots back towards NYC, and falls backwards onto the floor*

*before he hits the floor his battle armour opens an emrgency inter-thread portal - a thin black horizontal line opens underneath the falling Red Dog, rotates 90 degrees and swallows the Canine Leader*

*after a moment an arm reappears through the portal, grabs the bag full of "borrowed" STUMPED weaponry and disappears before the portal snaps shut*

*a cursing is heard from a distant thread*

(Several ammo belts and energy units disapeer in a flash of soft golden light)

(misspells disapear)

*shakes head*

*presses "DON'T PANIC" button under counter. whirring and clanking ceases*

robbed by superheroes. what next? DOES NO ONE HAVE ANY MORALS ANYMORE?!?!?!?!

*on the floor unnoticed by sea lies a calling card*

"You have been visited by The Legion of Revolutionary Super-Heroes .... a new kind of Hero for a new age. For more information call 1-800-TOPBANANAS"

Hey,

*NYC looks up from his spot on the floor*

what happened to the "boom"?

*BOOM*

Ahh.

*NYC smiles. sea kicks him*

ok, I think someone's getting a whooping and I'll bet that someone is the owner of this previously unseen card.



something also tells me they're using these weapons at a distant desolate battlefield

*fetches broom and starts sweeping up. notices calling card. frowns*

hey, NYC? how do you feel about beating up some superzeroes?

I'd love to. Just a sec...

*NYC is glad superheros still find regular projectile weaponry too boring to steal. He picks up his favorite shoulder-mounted howitzer from a dusty cobwebbed corner, attempts to dust it off, fails, and fires a volley into the strange pan-demensional rift near the entrance. This sudden abuse puts the rift into convulsions that look not unlike a sneezing psychadelic rubber ball, and it disappears in indignation.*

I'm ready.

*takes a shelf-ful of weapons and scoops them into the Pocket-of-Destiny*

me too. let's go.

*sets sign on counter. sign reads:*

CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STEALING.
SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE FLAYED AND SHOT, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

*shoves everyone inside out the door. activates security system and exits. the security system is top-of-the-line, and will instantly tattoo extremely rude words upon the forehead of any researcher on the premises*

*in the deserted and silent shop the calling card recieves a radio signal and flickers to life*

*slowly inflating it blows up until it is balloon sized with the words "another from CHOPPERS" stencilled on it's side. A small micro propulsion system (good for about ten minutes) kicks in and propels it to the back room where it locates the amenities and fills itself with water.

*bulging with liquid and wobbling badly the micro drive labours at high revs and with the last of it's energy reserves positions itself above the front door where it awaits the return of the owner*

*throws popcorn at the monitor*

HEY! What on earth is up with these superzeros lately? I mean, come OFF it already! They're worse at winning than the baddies lately! Sheesh!

*storms off in indignation*

*sighs* Well so much for the gun's, I'll just sit here and wait for them to come back.... I'm talking to my self arn't I?

Note to self: do not talk to self..... Dammit!

*Takes long coat off ,roll's it up and uses it as a pillow*

99 bottles of ber on the wall, 99 bottles of beer........

*walks in wearing long black travellers cloak*

Hmm. Good establishment. Would you have another series 4 de-atomizer?

*Aries gets doused by the front door's booby-trap. The defense systems come online*