h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*the kinetic weapon suppression field kicks in slowing the knives down to a slow crawl*

Hah ! The field works best against fast moving sharp objects NYC that's why we've got blunt ones

*starts gathering weapons from the stock room and passes them through a portable n-space portal in his bag to a safe location*

Rambling get the picture of the unowhat if you can find them and fix that Mage would you

*starts getting rather nervous, what with all this stuff going on*

I mean it, I'll 'shhh' you if you try anything.

*continues to cover Red Dog, thinking it's about time the heroes get out of here*

DD

*throws a large bag of assorted STUMPED gear to DD*

Jet boots and nil-grav slipper attachments for you .... didn't know they did jet boots with a Burberry check pattern

Burberry check nil-grav slipper attachments? I'm in heaven

But I promise to wear the more imposing 391.413 [footwear] without the slipper attachments in combat situations.

*continues to be very worried about that red flashing light*

Time to get out of here?

I'm worse than the cowardly lion...

DD

Hmmm yes I think it might be time to depart ...... I just need a hand with this semi-portable K-band Ion projector and we can be out of here.

Anyone brought a sack barrow along ?

*Raises hand.*

I did. Behind the bookshelf.

Phew!

*moves to give Mystrunner and Red Dog a hand*

DD

*peeks behind the bookshelf*

Yes, okay, but can it stop ME?

*NYC brandishes a tarwar and makes a lunge at Red Dog*

lolI knew you'd catch me on that one.
*Ducks knives, runs directly into an energy bolt,which fries some of her ectoplasm.* Oww!
*As the villians' fire weapons at her, dives into the safe, where it's ...um...safe.*
*Piles pictures up to make a comfy cushion, and orders pizza from her cell phone...waitaminnut...this phone isn't working too good.*
*sigh* I guess I'll have to fight this thing out.
*steals NYC's photo and sticks her head out of the safe to see if all's clear*

As the whirring and clanking continues to get louder, wonders vaguely what it feels like to be countermeasured...

*sees the tarwar and adds an 's' to the thing. It shimmers and turns into a light saber. Casts a spell on Red Dog and suddenly, he's holding a pink and green light saber. As hokey musidc swells in the background, the clanking and whirring is drowned out by the heavy mechanical breathing of Dark Student's rather large mechanical helmet...*

*Zips back into the safe and gets the Red Dog picture, plus a rather interesting one of The Heavy One.*
Ah'm outta here!
Starts to leave, but it'll take her about three posts to make a clean getaway, if anyone wants to take a shot at her

*Dewey Demon looks around, hopelessly confused*

Well, you know what they say, discretion is the better part of valour

*Picks up the sack of stuff Red Dog had thrown his way and begins to make his way out of the place*

Eep, can't get the hang of these jet boots , looks like I'll be getting out of here just after the ghostly one

DD

*Slips another semi-portable K-band Ion projector in her pocket, just in case. Also drops a priceless jewel on the counter, in keeping with the Hero creed. Wouldn't want to get hauled into court;
a ghost could die of old age before the judge and jury got around to showing up... Begins preparing to teleport out...*

OK NYC you want some of this then

*presses the on button on the light sabre only to find it fizzles out rather disappointingly because of the energy disrupter switched on earlier*

Right NYC fisticuffs it is but before we get down to business you should know that I have "The Laws of Heroic Cliches" (A771383) on my side

This means you will always fight me one-on-one with any spare villains dancing around the fight taunting me but not actually fighting me and if I hit you on the head you will lapse into unconciousness but revive at a really inconveniant moment and attack me again.

*pokes NYC in the eye*

*the Dewey Demon hopes that the villains notice the I.O.U. he has left for the equipment in his possession*

*of course, if it turns out to have been stolen, he'll have to hand it over to the police*

I'll get this stuff safely to the troops on the desolate battle field...

*is nearly at the door now*

DD

Curses! Hadn't thought of being a reciever of stolen goods!
*Stops with one foot out of the door and hurridly flips through her dog-eared copy of the Hero's Handbook, muttering*
Reprehensible...remiss...repel...reprobate...um...oh,my!

*Quickly searches out and files any serial numbers off of the afore-mentioned booty*
Serial numbers?? What serial numbers???? Never heard of 'em!

(Calls cops with alert about "super hero robbery". No, officer, super heroes robbing somewhere. Yes, they're the ones taking stuff.)

(Ruckus laughter and then a click on the other end of the line)

Robbing?? Moi?? Oooo, I Never!! Well, gotta run.
*Wipes down surfaces to remove fingerprints, steals tape from security camera, and saunters out the door*

*NYC reels from the eye-poking, but regains balance*

Alright, Red Dog, it's mano-a-mano, but while us villains may be chivalrous on occasion, most of the time we're backstabbing bastards who don't play fair.

*NYC kicks Red Dog back and starts looking through his coat and pockets for another weapon he can use. He finds his keychain, complete with bottle-opener.*

*sigh* It'll have to do. YAAAAH! *NYC swipes at Red Dog with his make-shift keychain knuckles*

Who needs weapons when you're skilled at the "Captain Kirk" art of fighting.

*clasps both hands together, ducks the keychain and aims a reverse double handed blow to NYC's head*