h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I visit my mother twice a week -- on Thursdays and Sundays. I always go with my father, who lives close enough to visit her in the nursinghome every day. Today when we got there, she was in a frenzy. Her throat was so parched that she could hardly talk. The staff needs to add thickener to any liquids they give her because she has trouble swallowing due to a stroke a few years ago. Today they couldn't find any thickener, so they had to go somewhere else to get some. Meanwhile, the dry throat was aggravating the bad cough that Mom has. She gets dehydrated fairly readily, and having makes her dry out faster than usual.

My father had to go off and talk to the people at the front desk, so I held my mother's hand. She had a very strong grip. She begged me to not to leave her. It's terrible to be so weak and helpless in a nursing home. Her family are the only ones she can depend on [or so she thinks], but we can't spend as much time with her as she would like. The nurse on duty asked me about my mother's cold. I said that the cough had been getting worse for a week. The nurse noticed it last night, but she isn't on duty all that much. My father has asked for a meeting to work out a way of making sure that Mother doesn't get so dehydrated. Can they give her fluid intravenously in the nursing home, or would she need to go to a hospital for that?

That sounds rough, Paul. My best wishes for your mother.

I don't know about that hydration. I hope somebody with a medical background will come along and answer that.

Or ask Z, he'd know for sure.

I am very sorry to hear this, paulh

I hope something can be done soon to help her

That probably varies home-by-home, though if they can't do an IV, they could do a feeding tube easily enough (of course, *that* could vary home-by-home, too)

When my mom was unable to swallow*, and had a feeding tube in the convalescent home, she would still get a dry mouth. They had these pre-moistened spongy-swab things (lemon-flavored, iirc) that she could use, but those likely wouldn't help with actual dehydration...






*I'd had a footnote here, that I moved to F74902?thread=8300779 to avoid hijacking paul's journal.

wishing well and a good outcome to your mam's needs and dignity

Sending good wishes your way, Paul




lil xx

Thinking of her, your father and you. I wish we could help.

When they did finally manage to bring a cup of water, my mother got it down pretty quickly. It isn't just in the nursing home that she gets dehydrated. She did it when she was still in my father's care at home. She can't swallow anything very well. A stroke did away with much of her swallowing ability. We had hoped that being in a nursing home would help with this. As family members, we know just how hard it is for her.

By the time we left her, she had calmed down quite a bit. She looks forward to our visits a lot.

My mother began failing rapidly yesterday. This morning, my brother and sister set off for the nursing home to see her, but she died just before they arrived. My father has not been able to get out of his driveway yet because a lot of snow fell last night.

So sorry for your loss, paulh

And of course sorry for your father too, it must be devastating for him.

I hope all your mother's relatives and friends will learn to cope fast

and my thoughts and strength are with you and your family Paul

Paul, my thoughts are with you and you family at this very sad time.

Thoughts and prayers go with you.

Gosh I am sorry for your loss. We're thinking of you and your father.

Paul, I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family

Thanks for the kind wishes. I'm lucky to have so many wonderful memories of my mother. She had 80 great years and 12 declining years. I'm just so very sorry that she was so unhappy in the last two or three years. She hated being so feeble. My father suffered as he watched her go downhill....

So sorry Paul.




You'll have a lot on your plate for the next few weeks. I hope the snow doesn't make things worse.

for you and your father.