h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

.... a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. I may be high in cholesterol, but in the twilight zone it doesn't matter.

On the other hand...

"...I must be a hyper-intelligent pepperoni
pizza, because I have two hands, while the
others don't even have one."

Rod Serling paused, even there was no pause
indicated in the script. This was odd, because he
himself wrote the script, and because...

... when he paused, the blank look on his face was not unlike the blank look which a pepperoni pizza posesses when it just lies there in the pizza box. Unlike a pepperoni pizza though, Rod did not steam. However, he was a little crusty around the edges, and....

...was promptly eaten by the Village People. "That's the way it goes," said Betty, before she ran over to...

... the Twilight Zone cameraman and set up yet another camera shot.

Betty did this because she was in fact Rod Serling in disguise.

When she pulled the mask off her face...

The Grumpy Green Giant sweeps all up the in his ashpan and dumps them into his trash-chute.
"That's got rid of them pesky posters with their 's lets see how they like it down there."
Saying that he went out the door to the Blue Onion to meet the tranny dragon and see what the floor show was like.
"I wonder if I'll see.....

....Mistadrong blush for posting out of context?

No chance said Betty as the mask finally came off.
Omigawd said the everyone, it wasn't a mask after all and now she is all......

...anyone who has an idea of whats going on?" Just then the green sweeping giant that was nurse betty that was rod serling that was a pizza changed once again into a nice quite cup of . Bill the cammra man then came by and...


()

and I refreshed to check and everything before I posted shhhesh ok someone go with whatever they like


()

...and meanwhile, back at the castle, Count
Rudolph was having fun with his mistress Zasu.
In the dungeon where the lab was located, Igor
and Popeye were building a monster who could
destroy a lemonade stand with hand tied behind
its back (assuming that they could find even one
hand to stick on him).

Nurse Betty staggered out of the woods and knocked
on the castle door, and was greeted by...

... the lemonade stand monster.

Only he couldn't open the door because he still had no hands.

He could only stand on the other side of the door and repeatedly yell these words...

..."You can't make a lemonade stand but you can make it run."

"Oh me, I am undone." said Betty.
"You certainly are said a passing troll but I can help you."
Taking her by the hand he gently led her to his secret troll lair where his cousin the Versace Troll waited.
"Oh BETTY LOVIE!" wailed the Troll. "This is too dreadful for words, that eyeshadow just clashes with the outfit. Quickly get behind this screen where you will find.....

...a pickle barrel to hide in.

Betty did as she was told, but as soon as she was in the barrel, someone put the lid on and hammered it down. Soon she found herself being carried and the only hint she had of where she was being taken was...

... the sounds of hissing air and screeching brakes.

"Whatever could be happening?" she wondered.

Just then...

...the noon whistle blew, and all the
workers at the auto body shop came over
to eat their daily rations of pickles.

As soon as the lid was pried off the pickle
barrel, Betty leaped out and ran for dear life,
all the way back to the castle, which was not a
castle anymore because an evil developer had
just turned it into a suite of condominiums.

Betty knocked on the front door, and was greeted
by Count Rudolph, who was wearing an apron,
a paisley thong, and...

...nothing else at all, which was far too much or little for her to stomach at the time (depending on your point of view), considering all she'd just been through.

So she promptly puked all over him.

Shocked, the only thing he could say was...

"It's a good thing I'm wearing an apron."

Esmerelda came down out of the bell tower,
where she had been making illicit love with
Igor.

She mopped up the vomit, cleaned Betty ip,
and then suggested that they all go out for
dinner at...

McDonald's where they heard they could get Happy Meals with H2G2 Action Figurines.

"Oh, look what I got!" said Betty. "It's Happy in a string bikini!"

"Lucky, all I got was Gosho in a...

..string vest.
That made everyone feel and rush for the lavatory.
A sudden trumpet fanfare filled the air as a Court Crier entered,
"All hail the burger King!"
This was too much for Ronald who....