h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please observe the difference between real and Mock-Goths. The former are rarely under 18, have a sense of humour and- this is the deciding factor- DO NOT TAKE THEMSELVES SERIOUSLY. Also, they are quite rare compared to the latter. These sound like the kids you were on about- decide they want to be different, so do... er, the same as everyone else. (I wouldn't call 'cutters' a sub-group of anything; I've known 3 genuine ones, all different, who had problems. There was also one who considered herself Goth and did it just because one of the others did. This is just being a sad non-individual.) Mock-Goths either grow out of it and remain slightly embarrassed, or mature into Real Goths.
I am not a Goth but I have a respect for them; I like Cradle of Filth (who are NOT a Goth band, they are Black Metal. Marilyn Manson is not Goth music, he is a tuneless fool.) and other obscure stuff.
Townies, on the other hand, are evil. I hate them because they made me feel wretched throughout school- Mock-Goths just made me sigh impatiently.

Indeed..the article is not many to reflect anything about truly gothic people..i quite like all the genuine goths I have met and wouldn't insult them as such. Mock-Goths however piss me off abundantly..and too right about Marylin Manson as well

Genuine goths are generally very good, open-minded people who would probably tie Marilyn Manson up in a sack and... leave him there until he was sorry. They aren't vicious people.

Is this entry meant to be funny?

Well...it is if you have a particular hatred of Townies (and know who they are)....the Goths part is sh*te..and very unfunny..i admit this freely.
If you don't think its funny..then you're probably right...I was particularly bored when writing it and had just spent ages lambasting Townies to one of my friends in an online chat. Personally...I find the townies bit funny...and most of my townie hating friends agree...but then..maybe my friends are lying to protect my dignity. Apologies to you if you are an offended goth reacting to this article badly...as i said at the bottom..there's a much better article on Goths in the guide...linked to in this article. As i said above...real goths are generally great people who I admire as much as I admire anybody who actually has a strong belief in something. I do get p**sed off by people who go around claiming to be Goths but really just wear too much black and listen to loud music with unintelligable lyrics. (Btw...I actually do quite like Cradle of Filth....after listening to some of their music they seem quite good at what they do).
On the other hand...You are a townie..I make no apologies and hope you die a slow and painful death caused by over exposure to Garage Music and Mobile Phone Radiation (only kidding )

Well...it is if you have a particular hatred of Townies (and know who they are)....the Goths part is sh*te..and very unfunny..i admit this freely.
If you don't think its funny..then you're probably right...I was particularly bored when writing it and had just spent ages lambasting Townies to one of my friends in an online chat. Personally...I find the townies bit funny...and most of my townie hating friends agree...but then..maybe my friends are lying to protect my dignity. Apologies to you if you are an offended goth reacting to this article badly...as i said at the bottom..there's a much better article on Goths in the guide...linked to in this article. As i said above...real goths are generally great people who I admire as much as I admire anybody who actually has a strong belief in something. I do get p**sed off by people who go around claiming to be Goths but really just wear too much black and listen to loud music with unintelligable lyrics. (Btw...I actually do quite like Cradle of Filth....after listening to some of their music they seem quite good at what they do).
If on the other hand...You are a townie..I make no apologies and hope you die a slow and painful death caused by over exposure to Garage Music and Mobile Phone Radiation (only kidding )

I doubt any real Townies would be on the Guide anyway. So no fear.
(There's an entry on them somewhere...)

As I am from the orkney Islands, There is only a few townies and a few goths.
I am nither a goth or a townie, i class myself as punk/skater and when I was away on holiday to Edinburgh I was constantly hassled by Townies with the clothing I wear. I think that it's F**king sad how townies judge you by what you wear, what music you like and also who you hang round with.
My mate from Belfast said that her friend (who's a Grunger) got jumped on by a crowd of townies and they pushed him infront of a car. Luckily he was not badly injured but very shaken up. I've heard lots of frightning storied like that which include townies. My ex (who is goth) moved back to portsmouth just a few months ago, told me about townies threating to kill him constantly. I can't understand why townies have to be so f**ckin nasty, it's sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad.

From the one and only......

Ugh, depressing. The local townies here are so pathetic they wouldn't do anything as bold as that- especially now they are outnumbered by skaters/punks. (I leave school, and a thriving non-townie subculture springs up... sigh.)
I still get nervous if I have to walk alone past a group of them tho.

To have some real fun and to meet real goth i can suggest going to whitby in nov 1+2 for the second of the whitby goth weekends this year 2002. Here the small fishing town gets invaded by some 2000 goths and their is nothing funner than the look on a NEd/ townies as the shout abuse at a couple of goths and then another 50 odd walk round the corner. To say goths are non violent is not totally correct we are totally non violent if left alone but if attacked we will and can defend ourselves most goth i know have studies at least on martial art. This is one way we managed to maintain our innner calm and peace .

Aye, sounds good. And spoken of in legend...

do you get any Mocks there? if so, do you attempt to educate, or just ignore them?

Why call people 'grungers' ...

For the record, grunge is just rock music and back in the day, ripped jeans, baseball boots, tshirts and long scruffy hair was the chosen dress for the THRASH METAL fanatic...

NIRVANA - punk with fuzz pedals
PEARL JAM - Pure, simple (and good) rock)
SOUNDGARDEN - Led Zepplin tribute band (a f*****g good one tho')
ALICE IN CHAINS - Excellent metal sounds
TAD - Heavy as a heavy thing (so was the singer)
SONIC YOUTH - See 'Nirvana'
MUDHONEY - Funkey, trippy cool surf shit



People heard Nirvana and Soundgarden and thought "wow, all this must sound the same, we'll call it after what it sounds like - GRUNGE ... Wrong, it's all rock music so call it that