h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Let's ramble and rant, oh so wryly,
Suggestively, strangely, or slyly.
Let's have a great time
As we stretch for a rhyme,
And end with the usual

I'd hoped we could have a good thread.
Do limericks fill all hearts with dread?
My bubble's been popped.
Should the be dropped?
Can we bring this thing back from the dead?

I'll give this whole new thing a show
Though not too sure how well I'll go
The s are hard
'Cause I'm surely no bard
But be kind - you'll forgive me I know,

Sorry I didn't see this before
But I welcome it with a great roar
If noone posts for a day
Don't worry or dismay
I'll be back in a week if not before

This thread is a lark, an experiment.
I hope it will make for some merriment.
If you're stuck for a rhyme,
You don't have to decline
(That really is not an impairiment)

Hey why don't we make this thread like the others around here. We have a conversation in limericks - might be tricky but it also might be fun



Experiments sometimes be a bore
But this one will not be chore
One can ramble a bit
Or chew on the bit
But there's always a rhyme to be sure

Are we having a whale of a time
Trying to keep the words in a rhyme
New friends we may meet
Old friends we may greet
Or this limerick stop on a dime.

I'm happy to participate
I think the idea's really great
I like doggerel
It's working quite well
Now people are taking the bait

Over here we are fishers of men
I wonder if we'll get up to ten
If its less than nine
The sun will still shine
I wonder if one'll be called Ken

We've made it to 10 now I'm here,
lets crack open the whisky and beer,
a small celebration
with light imbibation
Would brighten this day up. Here, here

Opens a bottle of his best champagne
Do not ever fear to refrain
If it gets up your nose
put head between toes
But on the carpet don't leave a stain

Isn't it strange don't you think
That every thread leads to drink?
I'm not whining you know
I LIKE the warm glow
And it costs me much less than a shrink.

So, a drink's like a shrink but half price.
Does that mean that shrinking's a vice?
All that Psychobabble
in which Freud did dabble.
You know, he can stick his Advice.

Abuse of the shrink Sigmund Freud
Is something that's hard to avoid
Theories controversial
With all their dispersal
Keep so many people employed

Don't mess with old Mr Freud
his theories you can avoid
Just speak from the heart
keep horse before cart
and then you won't get decoyed.

He's related to Clement the wit
What! Did you call him a twit?
He once was a Liberal
And talked lots of Drivel
Now he's a just doddery old git

Sigmund was sick in the head
For he thought that we wanted to bed
Our own (bless 'er) mother
Or sister or brother,
Can we not do the neighbour instead?

Erk!! You should see those neighbours of mine
Wouldn't touch'em with ten feet of pine
A head like a pimple
A mind that is simple
Thank God for the fence (six foot nine)

Our neighbours do hark from abroad
From a country with which they got bored
They moved in next door
Where they ripped up the floor
With a replica samuri sword

The chap who lives next door to me
only ever comes outside to see
if his hive has made honey
when he's dressed up all funny.
Oh I wish he'd get stung by a bee.