h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Those of you who think you know everything are beginning to pi**-o*f those of us who really do know everything"

"Lord, Help Me to be the Person My Dog Thinks I Am"

Copyright Northern Sun Merchandising (I guess)

I've seen
"Hold Me, I'm a Fermata"
and my personal favorite, "Rock is Dead (Long Live Paper and Scissors)"

Some other good ones (at least I like them) :

Keep Honking I'm Reloading

Atheism: A Non-prophet organization

Driver Carries only $20, in ammunition

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute it

Don't Steal, the Government Doesn't like competition

I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving

My karma ran over your dogma

I'm goin nuckin futs

Honk if yoiu love peace and quiet

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy

Eschew obtuscation

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life

My reality check bounced

What if there where no Hypothetical questions?

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

Give me ambiguity or give me something else

I doubt therefore I might be

Dyslexics of the world: UNTIE

Entropy isn;t what it used to be

So you're a feminist....isn't that cute

"Gravity - It's not just a good idea, it's the law"

I've Got PMS and a Hand Gun. Any Questions?

Or a favorite here in Orlando:

If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Shoot Them?

Where did u get all of those from?!
i got a few:
As a matter of fact, I do own the road!
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths
If you can read this, you're irrelevant
I'm not as think as you stoned I am
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

dam prob is, im not old enuff 2 own a car!
(i will let u know wen i am so u can all hand in ur liscenses)

the mad bad blonde girl x

I have some pretty good ones...

If you can read this, then I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Hey idiot! Hang up! You're driving a car, not a phone booth!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!

The aliens have arrived and they're eating the skinny blondes first!

I found Jesus...he's in the trunk of my car...you can see him for $5!

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

You're not my type, you just make me horny!

Stop reading my bumper stickers and pay attention to the road!

Sanity calms, but madness is more amusing!

Alright--who stopped payment on my reality check?

I've had it with reality--I want my fairy godmother!

Patience, hell! Give me something to kill!

Don't p**s me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

I don't believe in violence, so don't make me kill you!

I hear voices in my head and they say they don't like you!

Back off! I'm having a sexual fantasy!

I do everything my Rice Crispies tell me to!

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment!

~jessyg~

THE absolute best bumper sticker I've ever seen: "I'd rather be dancing" on a car with handicap plates.

Hard to top that one. But I'm still kicking myself for not buying this one when I had the chance:

Avoid simple slogans.

I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go...

(Hoping I'm not repeating myself ... these long conversations ...)

"I Don't Care If He's Dead, I Still Want To Impeach Nixon"

This is one I saw the other day. I am not a religious person but I believe it was still in bad taste (Pardon the pun)

Jesus is coming...open your mouth

Maybe not the best bumper sticker but ranks pretty high up there for the worst


Scotty

Also...

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from the back of a car before.

Earth is full. GO HOME

I like cats. They taste like chicken.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!

Honk if you hate bumper jokes.

Clap one hand if you love Budda

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Honk if the twins fall out

(must make sure this one is UPSIDE DOWN on the bumper, otherwise you'll look pretty silly): If you can read this, flip me back over!

(I don't know if this has ever been on a bumper sticker, but I want this one for my car): Life is complex. It has both real and imaginary components.

here are some I have seen:

REALITY IS FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HANDLE DRUGS

FUCKENGROOVEN (usualy on a VW after the FARFENUGEN slogan they used)

YES, THIS IS MY TRUCK AND NO, I WILL NOT HELP YOU MOVE!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRIVING STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!

HOWS MY DRIVING? DIAL 1-800-EAT-S#*T

if I think of others I'll post them too

"Only YOU can Prevent Narcissism"

Oh... I'm loving some of these...

At the moment the only one I can recall (that I didn't just read above) is:

"The Religious Right is Neither"

Oh yea... Another I like is:

"Visualize Whirled Peas"

I don't think I saw this one above:

"My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student"

Maybe I should have read the article first. Now I see that two of mine were there.

Here's a bumper sticker idea suggested by George Carlin. For all those "I Heart My Dog" stickers out there get some small stickers made to cover up the hearts... Spades and Clubs.

how about?

don't drink and drive you might hit a bump and spill it