h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: What To Do in the Face of Certain and Imminent Death - A17216697
Author: Leo - a closed mouth gathers no foot - U519437


I don't know if this is Guide material exactly. If the majority agrees it isn't, I'll pull it and send it to .

Then, because I'd feel ish submitting a lemon, trot over to A17430699 and make some positive comments there.

I absolutely won't look at either of them for a week or two because I'm really busy... and that was a demonstration in how easy it is to lie.

Go on folks. Dig in.

Nope its definately guide material, humours, irreverent and fairly well factual I think it would be perfect.

I agree with Cardi-Bling. It's the sort of thing I'd be happy to read in the guide.

I understand the correct form is to stop in mid-air, realise that there's no ground beneath your feet, and then turn round and run back towards the cliff. You often make it, too. As you say, there's always the tree if you don't.

Icy

I was thinking in the 'Last Words' section, it would be neat to have some quotes of people's last words. One that comes to mind is "I am NOT okay!", said by Tiny Tim (the musician) when he had a heart attack on stage.

Yes! If I can collect a few more that would make a good primer.

Ne frustra vixisse videar - May I not have lived in vain.

Tycho Brahe, Astronomer amongst other things (1546 - 1601)



Liked the entry Leo... though this fairly lapsed Protestant might find a few words to mutter

And, being me, a typo, if I may:

Literature a movies --> Literature and movies

Spike Milligan famously has a gallic (or is it Irish?) transcription on his tombstone that says 'I told you I was ill'. George V supposedly said either 'How goes the empire?' or 'Bugger Bognor' on his deathbed. The now scotched rumour went around for a long time that Darwin expressed regret at having expressed the theory of evolution as he had on his deathbed. His childen have since said that this is untrue. I can't think of any more at the moment, I can't find my Big Book of Deathbed Sayings anywhere...

Literature a movies --> Literature and movies

Very entertaining - dare I say it, quirky!

Thank you for making me smile.

Well this is definitely quirky (we need a better word for this...) enough for the EG

However, you've got curly MS Word apostrophes (’) all over your Entry - they need to look like this --> '

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus.

I was considering "go to sleep" as an option, because sleeping deaths are so peaceful. Maybe I'll add it.

Excellent!

imminent, but so what. - imminent, but so what?

Literature a movies are - and

Be Graceful/Dramatic About It - Be Graceful or Dramatic About It

with your cloths askew - clothes (and again in the same paragraph)


There are some very good last words on http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/dying.html - some don't sound feasible, though, so cross check with other sources. The quotes by Beethoven and Brahms are very good, if genuine.

This is super - a great read

Good entry. Will post suggestions later.

I like it

Famous last words:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/6537/

More if you Google "famous last words"

Typos still need addressing that have already been noted in posts 10 and 13 (do find and replace all instances of ‘ and ’ with ')

Become Religious just in case
...if better heated. > ...if better heated? (that sentence is a question after all)

at end:
much less unfun > more entertaining (I'm not sure 'unfun' is a worthwhile addition to the language )

yes, an enjoyable entry

- you could add at the end - panicking won't be any help.

Another here!

It's a fine job, Leo.

May I suggest a modification of the Bring the Sucker Down With You section?

You may want to note that some will try to do something like write with their own blood. First, it would be important that the murderer be gone and unlikely to edit your last written remarks; Second, for god's sake, don't write down some cryptic clue, stick with a name or description.

You may want to suggest a way to handle a situation where you die far from those who can understand you. Sometimes the last words can get a bit garbled if conveyed by someone ill-suited to pass them on.

Meant to mention, that one notable 'near-death' accident was handled rather well. When Arlo Guthrie's motorcycle flew off a mountain, over a 500 foot cliff, he used his time to write one last song. Obviously, he didn't have a lot of time to write it, and never thought he'd have time to change it, so it's not particularly good; but he called it 'The Motorcycle Song'. I kind liked it.

For interest this story is recorded on Arlo Guthrie's website: http://www.arlo.net/resources/lyrics/motorcycle-arlo.shtml

If true the event was pretty reckless, and not without a fatality - playing the guitar while riding a mountian road, and then landing on a police car killing the driver