h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

annie

1. by what means will we understand ?
2a. i have a core belief that i'm unlovable. i *did* have an encounter with this girl, who i liked and who like me and we were in this state of mutual infatuation for about 2 or 3 weeks and i got scared. maybe that's what you mean.
2b. do you have a heavy british accent?

%-| ?

What is a heavy British accent?

Understand it when you experience it
Yes, I think I mean that about taking a risk and feeling that love is dangerous

a heavy british accent is probably what you have
just as i have an american accent

do YOU understand ?
but if one experiences can they still NOT understand it?
i don't think that experience = understanding necessarily.

You are more likely to understand something that you have experienced than not experienced.
when you experience love you will understand it for what it is.
Something powerful.
Understanding any emotion generally comes in time.

My accent is mixed. I live where people either speak BBC/royal family or like farmers,with lots of 'Z' sounds(Wiltshire) but like Amanda I come from Birmingham and that is a very identifiable accent which I still have bits of and I revert when I visit .
My mother was a cockey and my dad a Geordie (From Northumberland) so my accent is mongrel.
but I think you'd be able to understand me if i spoke to you.
If a Geordie spoke to you i think you might struggle to understand
as i do sometimes.

A Wiltshire poem..in the dialect.
One winter, Crismis time about,
Thease lanlords tubs as ael ran out.
Zays he, this yer's a purty goo,
Var mwore what ever shall I do;
Thie smugglin Zam's a purty chap,
Ta lave I here wieout a drap;
An wen a promised dree months back,
A hooden vail ta bring me whack.


example of Geordie
How man mutha man. = Please mother don't embarass me.
Ye knaa what ah mean leik. = Do you know what I mean?
Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza. =OK, I have had enough, I am going to the bar.
Whees i' the netty? =Who's in the lavatory?
Gan canny or we'll dunsh summick. = Be carefull or we will crash into something.
(Sting is a Geordie but got rid of the accent)

and not to leave out the Brummie (A person from birmingham )
"Yow gorra feace lark a bulldog chewin' a wasp!"
(Ozzie Osbourne is a Brummie.)

Thank yee fre aal responding te me letters . It's time fre me te gan te bed noo . love Annie

annie

thanks for the british dialect lesson. very interesting!

in the united states, there are different "accents".
we have the southern accent, a east coast accent, and a midwest accent, which, to me, sounds like the ABSENCE of accent!

the midwest style of speaking is what national television speaks in, so i guess it IS kinda the absence of accent

back to your point that one can better understand something if one experiences it first hand, i wanted to comment that each of us lives in our own subjective world and we must rely on verbal accounts and descriptions to assume that we are all perceiving the same things... like colors...everyone's wondered if my green is your green, etc...

this goes back to my hedonic set point idea.

how is one to know if one's hedonic set point is lower than "normal"?
i think mine is, but i cannot be sure.
i just have to describe my own psychological state and compare it to others' decriptions... this is indirect and can be misleading

thoughts?

peteY out!

"back to your point that one can better understand something if one experiences it first hand, i wanted to comment that each of us lives in our own subjective world and we must rely on verbal accounts and descriptions to assume that we are all perceiving the same things... like colors...everyone's wondered if my green is your green, etc..."


Why?
Why do we need validation from others?
How do we know they are not wrong in their thinking?
who decides who the 'experts' are?
your view seems to say that you need the reassurance of others in how you think. Why whould you want to agree with what they percieve over you're own perception?
what does it matter if some people (as they do) see green as blue?
If you experienced something and ten others told you it was impossible would you feel obliged to believe them or your own perception? Would you doubt them or yourself?

annie

i get your point about each person being the most valid evaluator of his/her own subjective experiences. i agree
and i also agree that it makes no difference if our colors are the "same" or not.

but, what i was trying to get at about my "depression" is that what if i'm complaining about feeling all the time, but it's not really worse than what most people experience?

The point is Pete that YOU are experiencing depression, just because lots of others do doesn't devalue how you feel.
I believe depression is latent in everybody and becomes real when experiences we have bring it out.
Sometimes things happen to us all that makes the feeling of being depressed valid !
Depression is shutting down when things become to difficult to cope with.
You say earlier that at your core you feel unlovable, this is the crux of your feeling of depression I think.(and many other peoples too) you are worth more than you give yourself credit for (or others have given you credit for more likely)
You seem to me to be a kind and generous person with an open mind.
Perhaps you should concentrate on that thought rather then your wrong perception that you are unlovable.

annie
thanks that was a sweet post.
i suppose that if i feel sad , then i should take it at that and not try to compare it to others to see if i'm "really" depressed
i'm open minded and maybe kind, but my upbringing was SO messed up.
my parents never loved each other. my dad wasn't a father figure. he was just physically there. my mom didn't give us unconditional

i sound like a whiner, huh

No you sound like someone whose had an awful time as a child.
and the feelings about it are valid.
but the thing now, is does that awful childhood have to also make the present awful too?
Are you still letting your parents 'win' by blighting your current life?

annie

i think that your brain is so plastic during your childhood that a lot of your childhood experiences lead to immutable beliefs
scarring you for life maybe

petey

Yes you are right.
a childs forming brain takes in the programming it is given.
that's what my 'expereiment' was about. going back into that programming and changing the perception of it.
some people have dreadful childhoods and still manage to survive the scaring, others don't
what is the difference in these people I wonder.
are they able to divert the program or just leave it alone?

I don't think we give our hearts away easily at all...i think it's why it's called "falling" in love

i think we "fall" then we learn how to cope with it!

I have one more thing to say..

Love is the greatest of all feelings, and u never know when or how it happens. but i like to think i'm in control of things (yeah right) and perhaps there's a sort of "physical law of nature" that controls us... INERTIA for example!


Basically people need to be in pairs, and that there's always a person that we'd rather be lumped with than any other!

ANNIE

I THINK THAT SOME kids who have had horrible childhoods on the surface had either [a] resilience and/or [b] some kind of a supporting and comforting influence to help them out during their hardships as a kid [that offset the damaging effects of the negative aspects of their childhood]...
THESE ARE THE ONES WHO tend to do better as adults.

Fighting depression - from experience - is not easy, and is always personal.

Believing I was lovable was the turning point in my fight.

someone said; love isn't something you find, it's something you do.

Love is quantum entanglement !