h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

may your glass always be full, may your roof be tight and solid - and may you be in heaven half an hour before the finds out you are dead

water is in reality the best you can have - if you have nothing else

(Robert Storm Petersen)

Can't think of anything than the various German songs about drinking.

Well, there's Hannes Wader's favourite toast:

May you be buried in a coffin of 100 year oaks that are planted today.

people who drink light beer don't like the taste of real

- they just love to pee a lot

I'm not sure I like the bit with the oaks. I'd rather be buried within a few days of when I die...

There's the ancient Roman saying, "In vino veritas"

(Not many ancient Romans left, though. The few that there are
are well-preserved--alcohol will do that . Translated, it means "The truth in wine.")

At the age of 99, Jack Wicks, the blacksmith (still working) in Yelden, Bedfordshire broke his hand and had to spend a night in hospital. As far as it was known, Jack had drunk eight pints of beer at the Chequers (the pub), every night of his life, since the age of thirteen.

My papa - the Rector - being a dutiful sort of pastor, went to see Jack in hospital and took him a goodly supply of Guinness. He opened a bottle and passed it to Jack, who looked at it thoughtfully and then said; "They say that this stuff kills you. All I can say is that it takes a &é"$(è§ long time!"

aye. they say alcohol will kill you slowly - but then what's the rush, eh?

There are others who say alcohol prolongs your life--as long as you don't drink to excess. (There are other things you *can* drink to )

you cannot call yourself a nation if you don't have an airline company and a brewery

(frank zappa)

zpirate>

drink if you miss her
the barrel has a sister

(a. nonymous)

"you cannot call yourself a nation if you don't have an airline company and a brewery" [Pierce and Frank Zappa]

Fortunately for the world, I do not wish to call myself a nation, despite my amazing supply of personalities.

"drink if you miss her
the barrel has a sister"

- the Sistabarrelista!

Who're you calling a barrel?

A Barrelista is somebody who balances on a barrel while juggling!

juggling with ?

when i read about the disadvantages of drinking alcohol i gave up reading

(a. nonymous)

'keep the bar open, we'll be back in 20'

(british soldier on his way to the front in WWII)