h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* Still preserved after all these years, the dungeon still houses all the torture devices an iron maiden could require...*

*GB peeps around the door and looks tentatively down the stairs....
Gracious! Wait till I tell Mina about this place!

~Mina wanders in, looking aound her in delight~

This is great! I feel really at home here. Just one or two slight adjustments and everything will be perfect.

I heard that you had managed to get a dungeon, Mistress Mina.

Nice gear.

~looks around the place, and then starts getting very strange tools out of his tool box.~

Just let me get started, soon have the place looking as you like it.

~starts adjusting torture devices to become tease and tantalise devices~

Hello Mina, just brought you a cup of....ooh, er....who's this?
Thinks: What a horrible, ugly old man! Warts and all!!! Ewwwwww.....
*exits stage left......

Galaxy Babe, come back!

He's perfectly harmless, if a trifle ugly.

I'll introduce you properly when I get a chance.
Oh well, sorry Arthur.

*Tweet's leather trenchcoat brushes softly against the walls*
*She fingers a whip lovingly, and gazes at the handcuffs*
*A smile plays across her lips*

Oh, hello, Tweetie!
Surprised to see you down here, hmmmmmm.....
Have you seen Mina?
We have plans to make, I mean, er.....

*Ivor saunters in

Are you tied up or am I in luck - or both

It's ok Babe, I am here.
Hi Tweetie, didn't see you there, looking all mysterious. Nice coat, I could work with that.

Hello Ivor, what can I do to you, I mean with you, sorry,for you?

Huh! THIS is a place...

Hi GB, Mina, Tweet'... erm... Arthur (maybe we can - as Patron Saints - give him another look, a younger one, I mean...).

*wonders exactly how far she can take her patronage*
*takes another look at Arthur and feels her stomach turn*
*suddenly he turns into a 25-ish man, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Greek god- minus the blonde hair (Tweet's also been keen on dark hair. Although there are exceptions )*
*grins*
I believe I just impossibly escaped vomiting all over these lovely leather things...

Er.....I really don't think we should be messing with any of Mina's things.....er.....I think I better go.....

Oi! If you don't mind, I prefer to be old and ugly.

~shakes his head and changes back~

It means I get left alone by you bloody women.

You mean that you were gagging? talking of which....

Probably a good idea to leave Arthur alone, he has powers unheard of.

Also, he doesn't really like women.

GB glances at Arthur and nods in agreement.
Did you model for those statues on the sides of the cathedral, Arthur?
*GB ducks to avoid the missile that Arthur throws at her & hurries up the stone steps out of the dungeon....

Ahem, well I'm still here and aren't tied up at the moment *he says hopefully

Oh, well, so he is also bad-mannered, pfui!

He can be old and ugly, but I hate bad manners!!!

I'll be back, when he is nicer...