h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Perv...

I only have virtual eyes for Miss Sea among oth...*slaps himself*...just Miss Sea...

MK, it's not mundane! Now, if you would only stand still for one moment so I can grab hold of you, then I could show you.


Thank you very much Mandarb, I will put that to good use. What a great prize.

* M.K wanders around the equipment like the dunderheaded Duke of York until he feels his arm grappled by Mina... *

Lord M.K*

What's your preference MK?
Do you prefer to be top or bottom? And how far do you want to go?
I can cater for all tastes.

*Watches intently*

This could get interesting...use the Sausage, Mina...

I think I'll leave it to MK to use his, I mean, the sausage.

* M.K ponders what precisely is going on... *

Er... what do you recommend ???

Lord M.K*

I recommend that you stand over here, by this wall. That way I can attach the manacles without having to stretch. Don't worry, all the equipment is very comfortable, and doesn't chafe. Of course, if you like chafing, then stand by that wall, as that equipment is extremely uncomfortable.
Alternatively you can wear some bondage gear, I have a choice of styles, you can be walked liked a dog, saddled like a horse, or just strapped up til you can't move. Then I can beat the crap out of you, but I'll do it lovingly.
There's loads more stuff here, but I am getting worried that people will get the wrong idea about me.

GB has followed the siren-like noise from the Dining Room to the top of the Dungeon stairs.
Hesitantly, she looks down into the gloom.
Tentatively stepping down, she holds onto the stair-rail very tightly.
Aside from the piercing wail, there is no-one else down here, and GB wonders where the noise is coming from....
She crosses over to a large, wooden chest of drawers, with large, rusty, ring-like openers on the outsides.
GB pulls the first drawer open, it creaks, and the wailing sound increases.
GB is just about to pull out an object, which if it were in normal light, she wouldn't have touched with a bargepole, but then a voice behind her makes her jump out of her skin.
"What do you want, woman?"
GB shreiks and jumps backwards, away from the repulsive Arthur.
Nothing, er, I was just investigating the noise, I don't want anything {not in here, anyway!}....
Arthur lumbers over to the dresser and closes the drawer.
He opens the next drawer down, removes something from the drawer, opens the back of it, takes out the batteries, and the commotion ceases.
"S'jus me Mistress's alaaarm for us, I've to put sommat's in t'warm f'her"
OK, Arthur, I'll be going then....
GB turns on her heels and runs for the stairs.....

*Throws a raw leg of lamb down the steirs*
I thought you might be hungery

*sounds of flesh being ripped from bone*

I always like to see happy customers
*leavs arutha to his food*

*wonders if their is anything portable she could take upstairs to his Lordships bedroom*

There's plenty of portable equipment here, take your pick. Not sure that he's too keen on anything that I could recommend, so I'll let you choose.

BTW, Arthur is a vegetarian, and he's from London, so a cockney accent if you wouldn't mind.

*wanders in, lost*
*sees what is going on*
*discreetly exits*

Why does that keep happening??

Arthur!
Can you make this door one way? So no one can get out again unless I say! Well, for the men anyway. Let the women come and go as they please.

What do you mean can I? You know that I can make anything, I am a master craftsman. I might need some odd bits and pieces, and it might take a day or two, but it can be done.

Get on with it then. Anything you need, just ask.

:::Steps to the top of the dungeon stairs and peers down, wondering if he can do the dominating instead of being dominated. He hears strange, interesting sounds and is curious to enter further into the pit. However he hears someone mention free round and heads back to the bar with the intentions returning later.

Q~

--- Chief HappyDude wander's in (In his full dress uniform)---

'H'mm, don't look like the pool to me'


'Still look's like it could be fun'