h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* The Reception Area is a large open space where impressive sculptures line the walls. One can pick up a slight theme developed throughout them... namely they are all sculptures of famous nudes... *

* A large oaken front desk stands here with a number of pampletts of the surrounds laid on & a small buzzer... *

* A young attractive girl smiles congenially as you enter, and directs you to sign the guest book which contains the following... *

* Name, Titles (if any), Profession, Young/Youngish/Young At Heart, Male/Female, Partner ?... *

* the door opens to reveal a striking woman dressed in a floorlength Versacci evening gown. what appears to be a fur that once belonged to a fox is gracefully draped accross one shoulder*
*she enters, and is followed by a trolley mounded high with luggage, and several attendants and assistants.*
*she beckons to a female secretary-type*

Agatha! Take care of this!
*gestures toward desk, sending Agatha scurrying to fill out the paperwork*

The Grand Duchess Tatchyanna of Pettinwald!
*in an undertone* just don't call her 'Tatty'- unless you're fond of burning ears! i don't think i need to mention what happened to the last person that called her 'Petty'!!

age? skip that one... length of stay? indefinite...
there! that looks to be in order!
*Agatha smiles shyly, and gives sheet back to receptionist*

*the Duchess sweeps the room with an icy glare, but not finding what she was looking for, her bottom lip begins to quiver petulantly*

Where IS he?!

AGATHA!! Go and FIND him! The nerve! invites people to what appears to be a den of iniquity- then doesn't even bother to be there when they arrive!

*flounces gracefully into a nearby wingback and waits for Agatha to return*

*Will enters nevously*
*Distracted by the nudes, he didn't notice the receptionist until she'd finished a coughing fit that seemed to have started the moment he walked in*
*Will sees the guest book and fills it in*
Will Jenkins/Patron Saint of Tea & Espresso/Young/Male/Not yet.
*Will then approaches the secretary, struck by her beauty he is unable to speak, thankfully she understands and just hands him the forms*
*After filling them in she hands Will a key, "I've put you in the single's section, next to very nice lady who booked over the phone, her name is T...*
*Unfortunatly at that moment soft music started playing, Will wanders off to find his room*

*wanders in wearing a dark cloak with a white scarf. He putters around absentmindedly, muttering about the field property of the statue grouping but eventually realises he should sign in.*

Joe Arnia, Professor. Moxonian Chair of Mathematics at the h2g2 University. Young male.

*flutter of wings
GB, needing no form of transport other than her own wing-power, looks up at the nudes and giggles.
Thinks: What a great place for carrying-on!
She glides effortlessly across the marble floor, a little cold on her delicate feet.
Looking at the opulent surroundings, her eyes are drawn to the massive chandelier above her head.
Thinks: That's nice, but not as bright as my halo!
She looks at the Lady on the couch, with the young girl beside her who is fiddling with the luggage straps. The Lady slaps the girl's hand, eliciting a cry of pain followed by tears.
The young man standing transfixed in front of the nudes looks around momentarily, but then immediately resumes his stare, I mean art appreciation.
GB reaches for the Guestbook....
Name? GB reaches into her pocket and pulls out a long quill, taps the end & prepares to write.
Galaxy Babe/Title? - Patron Saint of Tantrums/Profession? - Beauty Shoppe owner, fully trained & qualified masseuse, reflexologist, Councellor, Fan Club Director?
Thinks: I really don't know which profession to put....decides on "Masseuse"....
Age? Young At Heart
Sex? Yes, please...
Partner? Well there's always a chance of me finding one if plenty of men turn up, so I'll just put "looking"

~A devastatingly attractive woman walks in. Mina shoves her out of the way and says hi!~

Hi!

Name - Mina
Title - Muse of Bondage
Profesion - The oldest.
Young - (men only need apply)
Male/female - any accepted
Partner - none that lived

Name: Bob
Titul: Patren saint of weird statments and oridagnal spelling, Muse of loude guitar soloes and all round nice Guy
Profession: an anoyance.
age: depends on the day
Sex: Male
Partner: Would spoile all my fun

*Bob Fills out the form Picks up his guitar and goes of in serch of some where to sleep off a hangover*

*A rather lovely looking young woman walks through the doors, wearing nothing but a leather bikini, knee high boots and a leather trenchcoat*
*A pair of Audrey Hepburn style sunglasses perch on her nose*
*She pushes them up over long dark hair and stands with on hand on her hip, surveying the opulence of the room*
*She approaches the reception desk, and leans on it, smiling at the receptionist*
Hello, I've already reserved a room. My details?
Name: Tweetie
Titles: Archangel, ACE, Freak, Her Honour
Profession: Archangel, ACE, Post columnist, Judge- amongst others...
Young/Youngish/Young at Heart: Young
Male/Female: Both X chromosomes present and accounted for
Partner: give me a week...
I think that's the lot.
*she grins at the receptionist, who hands her a key*
Receptionist: There you are- singles section. *pause as the grin broadens* You're near to another guest who just arrived...
*Tweet saunters off to her room, bags floating behind her, wondering who the other guest could be...*

*A tall blonde-haired young man enters, dressed impeccably in a black knee-length frock coat. He carries a suitcase and portmanteau. A black silk scarf is wrapped tightly around his collar. He strides up to the guest book, raising a Roger Moore-style eyebrow at the risque nudes. From a breast pocket a silver-plated pen is produced.*

I'm here for the room that I requested; here are my details.
Name: St John Nexus
Title: Viscount
Profession: Scout and Muse of Dreams
Age: respectable
M/F: a gentleman
Partner: my dear sir, I couldn't possibly comment...

*receives key from receptionist* thankyou, my dear. If you could get someone to show me to my room, I would be most obliged.
*waits politely and quietly*

*from somewhere far away, a wolf-whistle can be heard...

*hurried flutter of wings
Hello, er, may I show you to my room?
Er, I mean YOUR room, of course, er, Mr. Nexus, er, Mr. Seven, er,
*links arms
What would you like me to call you?
*waves her arm over the suitcases which float up the stairs of their own accord.
Thinks: Wonder which room he's in? Hope it's near mine...

Thankyou, my dear. Please call me St John, or Viscount if you prefer the formal honorific.

*walks up stairs with GB to room*

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have had a tiring journey; I hope to see you later, in the restaurant, perhaps. Good day to you, madam. *takes bags and goes into his room*

{once behind closed doors} Gor, blimey! This gaff's a bit posh! Good job no-one's noticed that I'm actually common as muck! That's the think about these toffs; they think you're Little Lord Fauntleroy if you flash a little bit o' brass about... *rubs hands together maliciously* I wonder how much swag a rogue like me could nick from a place like this... Heh heh heh...

*flutters off for a lie down

Er wher do I signe, Oh there

Name: Vince
Titul: Patron saint of the Indicisive (wating for conformation on Patron saint of Nyphomainics), Muse of anoying Optomism
Profession: Finding new and intersting ways to avoide doing anything.
Sex: I certanly hope so (male)
Partner: Devorced and proude of it

*Walks of to play lode music by where Bob is sleeping*

*enters nervously and looks round. Notices the receptionist and says timidly
"err... hi... err... this isnt normally my scene... but Galaxy babe said something about a chocolate pantry..."
The receptionist looks disinterested and waves a hand at the guest book"

Name:hezher
Title: the confused
profession: stuck in school
young/youngish/young at heart: young
sex: female
partner: don't get me started...

*puts the pen down and hurries off, suddenly in need of a drink*

Appears suddenly and offers hezher a drink

And seeing as I'm buying, would anyone else like one?

*Bursts through front door*

Drink? Drink? Someone mentioned drink? Don't mind if I do.

Got this note from some young thing I met at a party. Said I should come here, what?
Right. Sign in, please. Like "What's My Line" eh?

Name: Kes
Occupation: Collector of lost poetry
Age: Pickled in alcohol - will last for ever
Sex: Well, I haven't got a set of golf clubs with me, have I? What the hell do you think I came here for - apart from the drink? Damn stupid question.

Now look - another thing! I see some damn fool's already written my name up on the big advert for this place. Well, that's alright, y'know, but you must have got the personal details from an 1875 copy of Who's What. Be a good chap and update 'em, will you. I'll never pull anything but a bathplug with a description like that.

Where's my drink? Service in this place is awful!

*gestures to the footman*

You there! Find me my room!

*directs a pointed look at the various people gazing raptly at the nudes, and sweeps regally from the lounge*




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