h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*flutter of wings
Hi, hezher! Glad you could make it...what are you drinking with the Patron Saint of Tea for? Come with me & we'll get you a real drink from the bar. You really should try the PGGB
*waves to Kes and winks
Looks at the woman complaining at the Reception desk & ordering the footman around.
*slaps her on the bottom as she passes
Now then, me old chestnut! 'Ow are you, Tatty, wasn't it? Or Petty-something? Nice weather we're having, ain't it?
*GB shrinks visibly from the icy-cold stare she is receiving, grabs hezher by the arm & frogmarches her to the bar, closely followed by Will, the PS of Tea {and cappucino? - when did that happen???}
Oi! Will {sic} they let you in here, Will?

I say, ladies - mustn't have you in the bar unescorted. Can a chap buy any of you you chapesses a drink, eh?

Ooh, wonderful!
A man {thinks: and what a man!}
*links arms
Yes, please, I think we'd both like a PGGB, hezher is new around here & she's a little confused, so I thought we'd ease her into this...gently

Oh yes, ladies. I say! What a sight ...er of the gardens ... through the windows. Drinkies!
Bar steward!
OY YOU - the big barsteward pretending to dry glasses - three of your very finest PGGBs, and look snappy.

*Pulls out a bulging wallet, whicvh falls to the floor, scattering large denomination notes and platinum credit cards*

Oh bother - look, barsteward - just start a slate for me - there's a good chap. I'll just bend down and look at these gorgeous legs .... er and collect my things. What?

Hurry up with those drinks, my good man!

Don't fear, this has happened to me before.

GB bends down & starts picking up notes & credit cards and offers them back to Kes.
They accidentally bump heads...
Ouch!
*rubs head
Ouch!
*rubs head
Oh, I am SO sorry!
"My fault entirely"
Oh, I think I am going to faint, quick, hand me my PGGB.....

*By means of grabbing and holding on to two female knees (not actually from the same female) Kes stands up, then offers GB a hand.*

There me dear - lean on me. Here we are - the best in the house. Cheers!

LAAAAND OF HOOOOPE AAAAND GLOOOORY ..

Oh sorry - that always happens with the first PGGB of the day. Much better now.
Do tell me about yourself, my dear. What beautiful big ... big ... eyes you've got.

I'd be most honoured, sir, to spend time with you, get to know you, eventually marry you & have several squalling brats {I mean children} with you, but I'd much rather just have fun!
I'll have another of those PGGB's, please, 2 of those and I'm anybody's, as the Devil & M.K* can vouch for, I mean, er, what'll you have, hezher?
*looks down at the unconscious girl on the floor.
*looks at Will,picking hezher up & walking off with her....
GB turns to Kes and says, oh, well, and then there were two! What shall we do now?

Sorry to interrupt...

...but G.B go check the original thread

...and get that uniform on asap !!!

I'll put you in a servants room with Sea the receptionist...

Lord M.K*

I say! A uniform! Sounds most promising!
Got time for another drink before your shift starts, eh, m'dear?

BARSTEWARD! More drinks - now!

*scurries off to find her uniform & hopes it's sexy....

*Salivates discreetly*

*Tries (through PGGB haze) to recall other lovely thing's name ...Wotswhich? .... no,, Sheezhim? ... no, can't quite get it ...*

* He's not the only one... *

Lord M.K*

... and it's not the only thing I'm not getting here! Now look here old chap - can't you give me a better write-up in your font page? You must be thinking of the other branch of the family - damn degenerates. Can't you say I'm loaded, and lots of city connections, and that sort of thing, don't y'know? Make it worth your while - certainly. I fancy a bit of sport while I'm here - know what I mean?

Yes, well I'm endeavouring to !!!

* Thinks to self... Just a couple more hours *

Lord M.K*

*GB dashes in, being chased by a rather faster male, who seems to be trying to look up her skirt!
Once back at Kes's side, she pants:
Well, what do you think?
*twirls to reveal a black mini-dress, with the cutest white frilly pinny you ever saw, the hem of the dress not-quite-covering lacy stocking tops & just a little glimpse of suspenders....

*IB dashes in breathless

I just hope I've got some energy left when i catch you

*thinks about letting him catch her
*sets off at a slower pace...

*IB finally catches GB

*tries to catch his breath

How about some room service?