h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*slides the book toward mr quatto. it reads:*
Name?
Titles, if any?
Profession?
Young/Youngish/Young at heart?
Sex?
Partner, if any?

Of course my dear, Of course. ~Begins Filling out the registry~ Yes yes, Mr Quatto, Yes, Occupation. Hmm, Evil villian. Address, yes... PO Box... Payment made in cash.

There my dear. And thank YOU for your time and patience with a quiet individual such as myself.


Q~

*leans forward and gives mr quatto a smile and a lovely view down her shirt*
my pleasure, sir. room eight is open, sir. here is your key, and enjoy your stay. don't hesitate to ask if you should need anything...

Hello and thank you Lord MK. A complimentary room with the delightful Petunia would be most acceptable, provided Petunia is agreeable to my presence.

I don't have an "official" title as such, but I could use any one of my ten dearly departed husbands titles. The darlings all made me the sole beneficiary of their entire estates, you see. However, Gwennie will suffice as I hate formality.

*Thinks it best not to mention the title of "Gold Digger" which her friends all use for her*

Now, what is my room number and is there a nice young man to help with my luggage please?

*Looks round to see all the young men attempting to hide and says loudly*

I'm a big tipper!!!

Outta my way!

*leaps rudely into the forum to be checked in, thank you very much*

~ Takes a leisurely long look and warmly takes the key.~ I will indeed my good lady. I have already seen many things I like very much and would very much enjoy partaking of your many fine offerings and services. May I have room service sent up to my room shortly please ?? Allow me time to bathe and freshen up if it's not too much trouble ?

Q~

*on way outside to the stables*
Hi, Gwennie. We're in room six. We have a nice view. See ya!

of course, mr quatto. Mistress Galaxy Babe will be up in a bit.
quorthon, room number eight only has one person in it so far. you may share it with mr quatto... if you'd like.
gwennie, petunia is in room six, but you already know that. *hands her a key*
have a nice stay.

Actually, I would prefer a Private room madam. I am willing to pay any premium for said privacy. Of course, the staff is welcome to come and perform their tasks but I prefer to guest alone ;-D

Im sure you can accomadte me dear lady, and I have heard of The Mistress. I look forward to her visit very much.

Q~

Typical!

I went straight to my room and forgot to make my check-in!

Sorry, Sea...

*Kasia takes the form from the reception desk and starts to fill it...*

Hmm...

Name: Kasia
Title: Patron Saint of Syncopation
Occupation: *that's difficult...* jazz singer (according to Lord M.K.), waitress at B'Berliner Buletten Bude (German part of h2g2), landlady to The Crossed Purposes Pub in the Village de la Vavoom (short to be open) *okay, that's it - for the moment*
Male/Female: female
Sex: why not...?

Thank you, Sea, that'll do, I hope.
No,no, I know where my room is - number 5, eh? Maybe I could have my own key, though - we are moving all over the place - Mina and me, so it would be much more comfty for both of us.

Tell me, Sea, do the rooms have their own names, or are they just 'The Viscount Rooms'?

allright, mr quatto. i'm sure we can accomodate that.
quorthon, room nine is open. here is your key.
and kasia, here is a key to room 5. i don't believe the rooms have names, but feel free to name them if you'd like.

Okay, Sea, I'll think about it then.

*gives kasia a nod and a friendly smile*
have a lovely stay...

Just to let you know...the bar is at http://www.h2g2.com/F52250?thread=73344 Could you please see to it that the management knows? Thanks...

of course...

*Storms in from the bar*

Ha! So this place does have some staff! Bloody well-kept secret!
Ice! Ice - young miss! D'you know what it's for?
Well, there's no ice in the bar, and there's melting ice cubes all over the music room. Nearly broke my damn neck.
Need a cold drink. Where's the ice?
Pah!

*looks at kes, rather startled*
i'm very sorry you couldn't find anyone. let me run to the ice machine for you.
*disappears for a moment, then returns with a big bucket of ice*
i'm very sorry. please let me know if there is anything else i can do for you...
*smiles at kes*

Ah! Thank you m'dear. And such a heavy bucket! You really have the most wonderful muscles, .. er, yes.
This should keep me going for a couple of hours.
Er, you're welcome to join me for a quickie if you get a break. Er, I mean a drink, of course.

*Stuggles back to the bar with bucket of ice, still wondering what they needed ice for in the music room*

*Kes wanders through and leers at the receptionist*

Hello, my dear ... both of you. My God! Four of htem. Need some air.

*Heads for the Car Park*

Just going exploring, my dear.

*Sobered up by the fresh air, Kes sees only the one receptionist, and decides to do something about it. He heads back to the bar*