h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

All of the areas of Foxy Manor have been set-up...

If you wish to find a particular room you will have to click on the second 'play' button on the left hand side part of the forum screen...

As there are 20+ threads active...

You can also got to the mainpage and click on the name or picture...

So patrons need not create multiple threads confusing the heck out of people !!!

Lord M.K*

All this damn technology. Bit short on bar staff, I reckon ... and ice.
And I want a word about the chambermaid - somebody booby-trapped my loo!

So Kes, how is the Bridal Suite...

Lord M.K*

**Brushes a particle of dust off of his spotless, beautifully pressed lapel. Granted, the halo makes him look like a trafficlight, but his suit is tailored not to interfere with his (slightly migrane inducing) wings

"Good evening sir. I am enquiring as to the availability of employment as butler. If you would be so kind as to relinquish your coat, I will present you with my credentials. Thank you sir, and your hat...and your scarf, very well sir.

"My previous employer was a certain Mister Bertrum Wooster to whom I was engaged as valet, but due to circumstances too tedious to explain, I am now seeking a less...hectic position. Do let me know as to the availability of the position. "

**Bows slightly and takes his leave, walking backwards and closing the door to the room in front of him. Once out of sight he immediately slumps against the nearest wall and lights a cigarette.

"Blimey, some chaps're hard to please."




Triv.

*clatter oh high heels
GB walks through, hoping the Newleywed's had a "good" night....
A smile plays across her mouth, and a chuckle escapes....

Hey - you - about the bathroom! Damn! She's gone again.

Welcome on board Triv !!!

I'm sure you will be an asset to the team !!!

I'll put your things in Room 15...

Lord M.K*

*Accepts her key gracefully, turns and ungracefully hauls her luggage in search of room 6 whilst at the same time muttering*

So much for the younger generation of males being helpfull. It's enough to drive a lady to drink!

* M.K finally gives up looking for the porter and helps with the sizeable cases... *

Lord M.K*

Ah, a gentleman at last!

My thanks kind sir!

*She doesn't mention that her multi-gym is stashed in the box MK's dragging across the floor.*

*Whispers as MK continues to struggle with dragging Gwennie's luggage to the lift entrance*

By the by...I'm not too sure about my "bio" you've put up on the guest list. It could give people the wrong idea about me! I'll have you know that I do have some quite "lucrative" side-lines and most of them quite legal too...

*As they reach the lift doors, Gwennie thanks MK and says that she thinks she can manage from here and gives him a huge tip*

Take a tip from me young man, don't ever trust an older woman!

* M.K manages to push some of the vertebrae back into his... well, back... *

Yes, I thought you were a woman of mystery !!!

* Thinks to ask what happened to the previous ten husbands... He thinks better of it... *

Perhaps, we could have a little drink later on...

Lord M.K*

It would be an honour and a pleasure, sweetie!

I don't suppose you would be so kind as to point the direction of the bar out to me, please. My sense of directions isn't what it once was, y'know! I'll just get myself settled and will wander down for a wee drinkie shortly...

*barges to the front of the queue without reading the backlog*
Service! *bangs little bell on reception desk* Service! I will have service!
*sees registration form and attempts to fill it in*

Name - E Vibenstein.
Titles - Dr.
Profession - ACE, Guru, Muse of Anagrams, Doctor of Woodwork and Regius Professor of Pedantry at the University of East Stirlingshire.
Young/Youngish/Young At Heart - Young. Well, youngish. Actually, better make it young at heart. Well, even then... oh, can I come back to this one?
Male/Female - Male, thank you.
Partner - Oh dear, there doesn't seem to be enough room on the form.

* M.K looks around giving a black look to the non-existent staff that should be on duty... *

Oh ! Good Morning Doctor !!!

I'm sure we have a spare room around here somewhere...

* He grabs a key off the rack with a 14 engraved on it... *

I had better help you with those cases !!!

* Thinks whether he should be him in a room with the Vicar Demon Drawer but decides against it... *

This Way Please !!!

Lord M.K*

*runs up in her usual short skirt and low-cut blouse*
sorry MK... it's a bit early in the morning for me here... 8:00 to be exact.
*gives him an irresistable smile*
i'll just get back to the desk now...

* M.K sees the short skirt and is instantly 'appeased'... *

No, No !!! That's fine dear...

Well, we wouldn't want to rush around...

Lord M.K*

*gives MK a kiss on the cheek*
thanks for understanding...
*sits down at the desk and winks at him*

* M.K blushes and looks away... well about as far as one of the nudes... *

* statues that is... *

Oh Gee...That's O.K !!!

* He attempts to pluck up the courage to look upon Sea's beautific face, and a cold sweat comes over him as he sees F.C portrait hanging on the wall behind... *

Ah...Yes ! Busy ! Must dash !!!

* He exits at a rate of knots... *

Lord M.K*

*watches him go*

*shrugs and puts out the registry book again, which reads:

Name?
Title?
Occupation?
Young/Youngish/Young at Heart?
Sex?
Partner, if any?

Down to earth, the Taurus Lady whose Virgo is rising, must insist that you use the proper term of respect for her vocational calling. That's "Registered or Licensed Massage Therapist" stressing the "therapist", Masseuse indeed, not one to be used by the masses. If you are so prone to tantrums might I suggest some essential oil of Roman Blue Camomile to calm your turbulent nature just put it on your handkerchief and keep it handy. It will help you control your urge to slap others around.
Why don't you just go up to your room and take a nice hot aromatherapeutic bath add some essential oil of Ylang Ylang to relieve your sexual anxiety, slow your mercurical breathing and cheer yourself up, before you get out add a drop of essential oil of Nutmeg. Rub yourself to get ready massaging the intoxicating aphrodesiac combination into your pores, moisturising and pampering yourself in preparation. The Bar is Open!!! Come on in, the men won't be able to resist you now.... Worlds of Love, JLC the TTP (qualified aromatherapist - licenced Massage therapist)