h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, are you sure it's wise for our diversionary attack to be right at the front gates, i mean... well for one thing squirrels can be evil li'l blighters/biters, and... well theres no handy, full, bath tub to remove them with. also they may see the extraction squad, if we're too close.
Couldnt we, like... you know... use artillery or something, to get their atention, and maybe... you know sort of stnd on that hil about a mile from their HQ, sort of pulling faces and insulting them. Then they might chase us and leave SKWERL HQ under defended.

Right,

The assault squad will start bombarding the front of the HQ to try and draw as many out as possible whilst the extraction team will nip in the back and follow Private Squirrels directions to get to Cyclops.

All alright with that?

Rama (Codename: H)

*hiss crackle hiss*
okaywellthecoffeemachinewasreallygoodIhadquiteabitbutIhopeitwasn'ttoo muchascaffeinecanreallyscrewyouupifyougointhebackdoortheresonlyoneguard andyoucankickhiminprettyquicklyandgetineasythenyougointhefourthdooron therightitsgotfiveorsixguardsbutifyouchuckafewpokemoncardsatthemthey'll fightaboutthemallowingyoutogetintothedoorwhereprivate*ahem*cyclopsis youshouldbeabletofinishtherestI'llbebackinaminutetohelpwiththeattempt privatesquirrelout
*hiss crackle hiss*

Right,

Scruff, Smiley and Fred, get hidden round the back and be ready to rush in when you hear the diversion starting.

Private Squirrel, once you hear the diversion you can either exfiltrate quietly, join in the diversion or help get Cyclops out. I leave it on your hands.

TB, lets start to set up near the front (about 500 yards) ready to start the shelling.

Let's be careful out there....

H

Mission has started - F47192?thread=172927

Hi, I'm back!

Where is everybody?

Hi there Cyclops! Welcome back. We er... couldn't find you around the squirrel compound. What happened? Here, have some Vodka.

Well first they had me in a cell, then they moved me into the interrogation room, then you lot arrived and they tried to hide me in the sheep shearing room untill the explosion...

...it was crazy, crazy in there. I've seen some things, terrible things, some involved sheep.

PS. Thanks for doing such a fine job of rescuing me. You and the teams amazing skills so obviously saved me from having to fight the squirrels single handedly and crawl back here on my own. Useless alcy reprobates
But anyway, I can't really blame you though. I shouldn't lead by example.


aaah!

*Gets some more vodka* We did destroy the whole base Cyclops. Well the dragons did most of the work actually.

*Drinks some of the vodka.*

Yeah the building complex. Did you see what was in the basement tho?

I was so lucky that I had my fake ID. They just held me with the other capstives for a while. Then General Kibbles arrived. The second he saw me he ordered my death. But first he tried to interrogate me. That was his mistake as that was when the dragons arrived. Sadly he escaped.

...I still had to fight a platoon of skwerl ninjas solely armed with a brick in a sock.


ohh, this is good vodka. Smirnoff?

sorry hello oh cyclops u'r back and not dead i see, good good, is that vodka?

::has recently developed a taste for vodka. a STRONG taste for vodka::
erm...mind if i join you? i think i'm getting better at this drunken warrior thing.
--the

good for you! i reckon we're the best drunken army around

*hic*

*brings in some more beer

is it time to dance on the table yet?

scruff X

Sadly I think not, the pesky little blighters are still everywhere! But an will help Us decide our next move

right. good. got it. o.k.......oh go on, please.

scruff X

*passes over an Right, well, as per normal I've been cataloging the movements of teh blighets locally and well, it seems they are on teh move again; the last two weeks streams of them have been passing over the borders, across into Surry!

do u know what i think i could actually give u the address of half the f*cking squirrels in the country, most of them are living on my bloody back doorstep.

scruff X