h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*evillene smacks UH upside the head with the butt of the shotgun*

[evillene] tell me HOW i'm supposed to be an effective supervillain when you go and do things like that?! now i look like i don't make good on my threats! D**N THE DISCONTINUITY! D**N IT ALL!!!

*evillene flings the shotgun across the forum in a rage and stalks out*

[sea] *wide eyed* oooh, she's P****D...

[Starman Jones] Well, she cracked like an egg.(*Picks up his sawed-off shotgun, relaods it, and shoots U.H. in the legs and the arms*) DON'T #$%^ING MOVE, G*D#$%^IT!(*Turns to Y2K*) Kill the pizza boy/girl...(*turns to walk off*)...and if they do have pizza, take it.

That's Pizza-man to you. You shot gun wielding, no-neck goon. Don't nustle me up unless you can back it up Zippy!
(Yeah, I know I'm about to die.... So, what the heck. Hehehehe)

[Y2K] Yeah? What's it say?

[SW]
Imp Ortant! Stop fighting over who get's to be Imp Robable! Go beat up Dinah!

[Imp Ortant]
But Robable is MY personality!!

[SW]
I like you current personality, now go beat up Dinah!!!

**Dinah occupies herself with fighting of the Darn Imps.**
"SW, I'm gonna get you one of these days!!!"

Y2K, what were you responding to?

[Y2K] Er, the Pizza Being's assertion that there was a note. What's the note say?

It says...
"For STUMPED from CHOPPERS. We hope you like the anchovie surprize."
Don't ask me what it means. I just need to be paid for this...

*sea forsees the imminent demise of whichever supervillain opens the pizza box, but she says nothing, because the supervillain is always supposed to fall for the Trojan Pizza trick. instead, she crawls under a table for safety*

Somebody please pay me and take the pizza. I'm double parked.

*sea groans, reaches into her pocket, and retrieves a $20. she hands it to joe, takes the pizza, and approaches UH*

[sea] since you were so kind as to order the pizza, you can have the first slice.

*sea opens the box toward UH*

OHHHHHH, This is gonna hurt! mmmm hmmm!

I'll pass on Pizza, I don't like anchovies.
**Dinah quickly ducks under a table**

*UH opens the pizza box. He reaches inside. He takes out a slice. He lscrutinises it carefully, before gingerly removing the anchovies which he replaces in the box. He eats the slice*
UH: Why is everybody hiding?
*Uh continues to eat the pizza*

[The anchovies all explode, some of them inside Uncle Heavy]

[Y2K] That's why.

[Starman Jones] Well, Joe, since you KNOW your going to die, why wait?(*Jones shots Joe in the chest with the sawed-off shotgun*)

[Narrator] Right, that's it!

[The narrator rushes in and shoves Jones against a wall]

[Narrator] By the laws of threadequitte, you are not allowed to cause fatal injury to another researcher's character without express written permission from that researcher.

[Y2K] Well MaW's penguin killed Y3C!

[Narrator] Shut up. YK let him. [to Jones] Well, to prevent that from having happened, we're going to use Dylan Cobb's patented Continuity Bleach! [holds up a detergent bottle with the Continuity Bleach logo] Endorsed by X company. Just wash your impossibilities away!

[He dumps the Continuity Bleach on Average Joe, who is no longer even remotely injured]

You're all AWOL, you know that.

I never said Joe was dead. He could have easily deflected the shot with magic or armor. What about when U.H. used a fatal attack on me a little while ago and said I was bleeding to death? That was easily repaired without any difficulty.

[Starman Jones] Please, tell us, Darkman, what the #$%^ are you talking about?