h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Let me explain something, without us heroic types there would be no CHALLENGE for you villainous cads. And life isn't worth living if there's no challenge to it. So why don't you just leave this place alone, in the understanding that you need us as much as we need you. That's right, we need you. Without villians there would be no need for heroes. It's a symbiotic relationship.

And no, I'd like to keep my soul Demon, although I hear Cyrano de Bergerac was quite the romantic. *sigh*

*while all this has been going on, UH has crept around the back, and pressed a big red button on the wall. A cge falls down around the villains, whose heavy, unbreakable acid proof bars are laced with cothorsis ore (or whatever it is). Thus Y2K cannot lightsabre it open*

*UH strikes a pose*
Our work here is done! H2G2 is safe witht the villains locked away! I'll call the commisioner

*batman pretentions,...*

It's cortosis.


[Y2K decides to take matters into his own hands. He arms his lightsaber and attempts to slice the bars open, which causes the lightsaber to shut it off.]

[Y2K] D'OH! Okay, everyone, stand back! Cortosis ore is really very weak, so aside from the lightsaber thing, cortosis ore is pretty useless.

[Y2K shoots the bars. On the outside, they are reinforced by something blasterproof]

[Y2K] D'OH! D'OH!

[Tony](*Tony walks in with a bullet proof body suit, a gas mask, and a jet pack*)Oh, Uncle Heavy you always were a fool. Jones you know what to do.

[Starman Jones] yes, sir. (*Jones presses a button on his belt and a black cape overs the inside of the cell which will protect the people inside from every attack possible*) All yours, sir!

[Tony](*Walks out*)Have fun burning in hell, heros! HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!(*starts up jet pack and starts to fly away*)If I can't have CHOPPERS, no one can!

(*Before Jones entered the forum, he had placed several nukes around the structure. All set and ready to blow.*)

[Tony] I recommend you don't play with the bombs for if any form of energy, any lifeform, or object come with in fifty feet of it. every thing here will been blown sky high...oh, wait every thing will still be blown sky high.(*starts to fly off then stops*) Oh, and don't try to escape for every window and door have been rigged to also detonate the bombs. And don't trying to call for help communication lines are gone.(*Tony shoots Uncle Heavy 3 times in each leg makeing it so he CAN'T MOVE. Tony flies off quickly after closing and rigging the last door*)

[Y2K] Hey! What about the rest of us Bad Guys?? We're still here!

OH! That explains all the nuclear explosives I had to disarm this morning. I suppose he'll be upset when they don't blow us into iddy biddy little pieces.

*sea grins*

[sea] don't sweat the cage, kids. now let's all hold hands, and i'll get us out of here.

*the villains hold hands, and are turned into water. they form a large puddle and flow out of the cage, being careful not to touch the bars. then, once they are free, they are turned back into people*

[sea] *bowing* thank you, thank you...

*evillene sneaks up behind UH and grabs him, holding a large bowie knife to his throat*

[evillene] give up, CHOPPERS, you've been beaten!

[Starman Jones](*to Y2K*) Thats what the cape WAS for. To protect us.

(*Jones takes out his saw-off shotgun and throws it to evillene*) Hold this to his spine. If he moves, pull the trigger. And just to be safe...(*Jones picks up up the sawed-off shotgun and shoots U.H. in each arm and hands it back to evillene*)

(*Jones turns to Dinah*)You stupid, little #$%^*!!!(*Jones Punches Dinah in the neck with his brass knuckles*)

*evillene takes the shotgun and does as she is told*

[evillene] move and you're dead. resist and you're dead. give up and you'll live.

[Y2K] Great then.

Fortunately Dinah's invisible armour protects her from most attacks. She proceeds to slice up Tony's clothing until he is in a somewhat embarassing state of undress.

great work sea! Maybe I should take up a bit of magic someday when I get the time.........ahh time, never enough is there?

Starman Jones is here, not Tony.

[Starman Jones](*starts laughing*) Holo-clothing! Gotta' love it!(*Jones clothing repairs itself, slowly*)I really need to get this up dated... oh well. I don't like magic, so I'm not going to use any on you. Ummm...YO, fry this #$%^*!!! Lets see the invisible #$%^* get away from this one.

*even as the villains talk, UH's wouns are already healing. He wonders how exactly they are going to get out, but doesnt worry, cos he takes the opportunity to slice all their legs off. He then presses a button on his gauntlets and the forum nanobots begin to disarm the nukes, as they are too small for the sensors to pick them up*

Dinah already disarmed them.

::knocks on the front door::

[Y2K] Bugger off!

::knocks again:: Somebody order a pizza?

[Y2K] Nice try! We've /already/ fallen for THAT one in Hangar Infinity! We don't fall for the same trick twice!

What trick?! Look. I gotta pizza here, and I need to be paid for it. There is a note on the pizza box, though....