h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Styx found sewer pipe spilling directly into stream!
The Blue Bottle's sewer!

*throws down nasty-looking metal biting thing*
Found this in closet, too. Rat trap!
heh heh heh, look, too small for my leg
*runs off*

That's shocking! The Celery was appalled to hear that such environmental degradation is occurring here on h2g2. The Celery is strongly against polution anywhere, but particularly on h2g2 where he lives. He is dependent on a hospitable h2g2 environment, as are many other entities, and can not protest too strongly this flagrant disregard for the welfare of others. Until now, he believed that researchers would realize from the no spitting rule that polution was severely frowned upon. Sadly, he can no longer believe this and henceforward will be more vigilant. If elected, The Celery will work hard to eradicate any such sources of polution.

Pierrot: Aaaaawwwk, something just hit the fan

I was in the process of welcoming a new researcher to the guide and sadly found this posting made by presidential candidate Baldrick;

Hello ****(deleted for privacy)****wlcome to h2g2. I see you've already got the newbies link, so I'd like to take the pleasure of directing you to Dr E Vibenstein's Big Probe, and voting for ME in the presidential elections. Just go to my page by clicking my name, where you can find my election manifesto (Guide Entries - If you're looking for my homepage........) and to get to the Big Probe go Further ice-cream (you may have to select Older Forum Postings), then click Dr E's name, there's a link on his page. Thanks for voting for ME!

Is that any way to welcome people??

Looks like someone has their own interests in mind and not those of the newbie or h2g2. And this from the same person who can't be "arsed" to delegate anything.

Pierrot: Aaaawwwwk, how do you spell ego maniac

I've made it clear before (I think it's in my manifesto) that I will keep my ACEing and SUBing duties completely seperate from my campaign. Perhaps this should be mandatory for all candidates and supporters.

Secondly, regarding the sewage. I've made it clear in my campaign page that I am an environmentalist and am appalled by the way some people and corporations treat the environment (Especially McDonalds). Bluebottle is one of my team, and I have closely monitored the building of his park, sewers and beach. I can assure everyone that he did not build an outlet into any stream. The sewage is processed and recycled into plant food for the park's shrubberies, and is completely clean and safe. Any outlet is thus a creation of enemies of the people. Sorry - enemies of my campaign. *Peregrin tries to conceal his communist undertones*

*The Russian national anthem strikes up in the background*

On the subject at hand. If I did the same as the above mention candidate with all my ACEing activities especially at a peak time that would be no way to run a campaign. h2g2 is supposed to welcome new people and let them find their feet first, there are of course plenty of in-jokes going around, this campaign is one of them. This sort of approach is detremental to the site. And if it persists and I survive my recemt poisoning I may have to consider my position in such a campaign.

Recently poisoned?
How did that happen DD?

http://www.h2g2.com/F46364?thread=65949&post=486413

I completely agree with Peregrin that Baldrick ought to enjoined to cease his unbecoming conduct immediately. Unhand those newbies! What must they think when, no sooner do they get in the door than some fellow with rats on his breath nobbles them about a presidential campaign! That is really bad form, Baldrick.

As for the sewage, I notice that your Vice had CCTV coverage installed throughout the sewers, including the area brought to our attention by Styx the Rat. If Bluebottle were concerned about pollution, surely he should have closed the outlet, rather than just monitored it while effluent continued to pour out?

You must check your facts too VL (no wonder your Rat is so lax). The permanent CCTV cameras are in the part of the sewers built by DD and are there to monitor the LSSM and the Wumbeevil rather than the effluent. The camera that recorded your Rat's progress through the hitherto unknown "lower level" was one of my mobile hovering cameras programmed to follow your Rat's collar.

Correction: I meant BB not DD and AL not VL. It's been a long day.

Great I die and suddenly I created sewers.

Let me through I have to get to the ER at teh h2g2 hospital I'm picking up subliminal messages from DD.

My God, this is getting convoluted!

In a strange twist...
You know the newcomer who received the 'campaign' welcome mentioned above?

Well, it appears that the 'tainted' drink in the F&F was originally poured for this same newcomer (even though he had not actually made it into the thread)!

*looks confused and starts muttering about 'vast conspiracies'*


(BTW, it appears that due to this thread, the newcomer has now received more welcome than perhaps any newcomer in the history of h2g2 .. great job everyone in making him feel truly welcome, and thanks, Lintilla, for bringing this matter up).

My client, would like to point out that his persona before he came out was a stranger well meet strangley enough by a lot of his h2g2 friends. He fully understands the sincerity of the greeting expressed to this newcomer. Berila AKA DD are grateful that this newbie has be greeted so warmly after his harsh introduction

*Reads post from red haired girl twice.*
Yep, that sounds like DD. I think she actually is channeling him!

BTW, the newcomer's home page even made the 5 busiest forums for awhile!

Poor DD, hope he pulls through!

I find it odd that Baldrick has not made a comment in this thread yet.

Good for the newcomer!
He does have one of the longest welcome threads ever, i believe!!!

Someone had to post Baldricks doings here at some point. i was just first to make it redbeard. Its such a bad campain move it was sure so show up soon, better now trhan when more newcomers have been accousted.

---in DD's defence, he posted a welcome message to the newcomer as well, not mentioning that he was a candidate, or even that there was a campain!---

Rather than retroactively fudge details, why does the Peregrin-Bluebottle campaign not respond to the fact of the effluent and the fact of the outlet pipe? From Styx's description, which I admit I would have to go back and re-view, he got out of the pipe by loosening an old staple holding the wire cover on. He climbed out of the lower level to the upper level and made a face at a cam that was fixed there. So he was back in the "regular" sewer. And when Amy the Ant arrived, she wasn't surprised to find the outlet. She was concerned about Styx's progress.

Who did you shoot to get the mobile camera?

heh heh heh
Only way to get attention of staff at store
*scurries away*