h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A most excellent article on a most excellent piece of cutlery. An addition I would like to offer to the information on the spoon is the absurd experience of the Shy Teaspoon.

When the household "dishwasher" is washing dishes using a bowl of water, it is necessary at the end of the washing process to submerge a hand into the bowl and have a little feel around to see if there are any overlooked items still in there before it is emptied. Once satisfied that nothing is left in the water, the dishwasher tips the bowl, empties the water out and is met with a loud clatter as a small teaspoon drops from the upturned bowl. Where this spoon was hiding when the washer's hand swept the base of the bowl during the check - no one knows. And perhaps even stranger is the realisation that to the best of the diswasher's knowledge, a teaspoon was never lined up for washing in the first place.

The mystery of the Shy Teaspoon it seems, will continue to baffle mankind, along with the reluctant left sock and the lost car keys wormhole.

Could the 'shy teaspoon' be utilised as part of method for communicating across time in combination with the much observed 'missing sock washing machine' phenomenon?

A future being could etch a message on a teaspoon and send it back in time for a past 'dishwasher' to discover. This would not violate any laws of nature since the universe was going to bring the spoon into existence anyway - the trick is to quickly plant the etched spoon when the universe is not looking.

For communicating the other way, into the future, the past dishwasher could then compose a message and place it in one of a pair of socks and place the pair in a washing machine. The future being could then extract the message through time just as the mischievous universe was going to dispose of the sock. Again, this would not violate any fundamental laws, since the universe just thinks it has removed the sock in the usual way. Of course this procedure may have to be repeated in the event that the universe decides to remove the other sock in the pair.

You may argue that the future universe would not let the future being send back the spoon in the first place, or to allow the future being to retrieve the spoon. However, if, like the past 'dishwasher', the future being also has at their disposal a washing up bowl and a washing machine too, then there is ,in theory, no problem.

In order to send a message to the past, the future being places an etched teaspoon in a sock when the future universe is distracted, and then the sock and its twin into the washing machine. They can then send the teaspoon back in time without the future universe noticing. To retrieve a message from their past, the future being quietly switches the new teaspoon that the future universe has decided to create with the etched spoon that the past 'dishwasher' has placed in a sock. (The original teaspoon message would leave clear instructions for the past 'dishwasher').

Research on 'shy teaspoons' so far has not revealed any messages, so it is likely that either the universe is already wise to this trick or future beings don't like tea very much.

Great theory orange one but future beings may like boiled eggs or yoghurt...

Also another thought about the vanishing car keys...What if they were attached to the car at the time of the vanishing, would the car disappear as well?

I don't see a problem here as I still use a spoon for boiled aggs and yogurt but in which recipe book did you find this interesting combination? Socks, however, have proved totally useless as eating implements. Sucking them when soaked in soup is a possibility but this act in itself may send you into another dimension if not just another room, preferably one with the door handle removed from the inside!

You forgot "the moving car door keyhole" phenomenon, whereby whichever part of the car door you try to insert your key into, the keyhole will not be there, even if it was there when you last looked.

The size of the teaspoon has been overlooked. There is not enough room to legibly write the instuctions for trans-time messege sending on one teaspoon.
I know they can write the Encyclopedia Galactica on the head of a pin but nobody can read it.
Maybe you could send multiple spoons, but the logistical problems of getting the universe to look in the other direction more than once overwhelm me.
Perhaps a giant teaspoon could be used to transport someone well versed in this method of communication to educate past generations. The universe will surely not discriminate against different spoon sizes give it's girth.