h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*deep breath*

My partner Ian has cancer. I have no idea how he's feeling, as all he's done since we got the news has been make jokes, and I don't know what to say. I have told my immediate family and got the reactions I expected. But I had to force Ian to ring his two daughters and give them the news, because he wasn't going to, and I daren't say or do anything until they knew. Yesterday a specialist nurse rang me to have a chat, she asked lots of questions, about Ian, about how we're both feeling, I said we're both being upbeat and thinking positive, but I don't know how Ian is feeling, and I feel like my planet has been kicked out of its orbit. I can't believe this is happening, although I had guessed something was drastically wrong from his symptoms, and deep down, it wasn't a shock, because I've been through it before, with my Dad.

I want to scream at the fates, to rant and rail at the universe, why, why, why??? Such a kind, loving man.

I'm so sorry to hear it

But you both sound like people who appreciate that life is for living. You'll be ok - I'm sure of it

Did you catch the Wilko Johnson documentary on the BBC a few months ago (one of the Imagine series, I think)? That was really inspiring.

I am sorry to hear this. You seem to have enough on your plate already. You certainly don't need this also.

But you can adapt to this also. I know you can!

Personally I believe it is important to realize that people react to news like this in very different ways. You may be very close, but you are not Ian. You may try to understand, but don't expect to do so 100%.

Wishing you all the best

Sorry to hear this, GB.

Good luck to Ian with all the treatments.

Continue to enjoy life together. Some bits of it are bad, but there's still plenty of good to be enjoyed.

just about the worse news anyone can get. turning to jokes and humour is one of many I guess, coping mechanisms to cope with a universe that has suddenly and without warning morphed into something unrecognizible. best of luck for both of you Its a hard struggle

Oh, GB, I'm so very sorry. I know first-hand how awful this is, I can still remember the feeling of ice cold blood in my veins when we were told my husband had pancreatic cancer.

I would imagine Ian's manner of dealing with this will change once it's had a chance to really sink in, so I'd say be ready for the dam to burst. I'm sure you know that anyway.

You'll be in my thoughts over the coming months

Deb

I know a isn't enough. You have been through so much and now you've found a wonderful partner, the universe does this to you. It is so not fair.


No - a is not enough.
(one for each of you)

Thanks everybody. I can assure you I am in dire need of plenty of and and and and anything else you can spare, dear friends And it's good to be able to talk freely here. Since I posted my journal this morning I've had a visit from Ian's younger daughter Caroline (whom I would happily adopt) and she says they were exactly the same when her Mum was diagnosed with cancer. If that's the way he is then I will just have to accept that, and keep practising my stiff upper lip.

I've also been to Ian's house & we decided to go get fish & chips for our lunch back at his house with a lovely We discussed the fact that the specialist nurse had rung me for a chat but not him, and what it meant. He said he is happy to have me down as his next of kin. When I left him I was no different than I had treated him last week or the week before.

Who knew last year when I did the head shave for Macmillan nurses that I was paying it forward?

Take as much comfort as you can from the long-term survival rates published this week. Whatever happens, I know you will enjoy your time together.
Will be thinking of you both all the time,(Extra big hugs)

Thanks WS

The Diana hospital have rung him with an appointment to go for a CT scan tomorrow night. I'll be going along, although I doubt they'll let me in while he's actually being scanned.

I sometimes think it's harder being the bystander of a loved one than being the patient themselves. I'm now a 5 yr survivor, hubby admits he was terrified at the time.
Hope the prospects are good & treatment not too arduous.

can't express words fully, as my bro in law has a form of "C"
all I can say is, I hope it's in its early stages and can be treated
my bro in law's can't be cured, but they can hold it, so he's still carry on "as normal"

Very sorry to hear about Ian's diagnosis, GB Once you have a full diagnosis and prognosis things will somehow be easier to cope with, although you won't stop shouting at the universe, trust me.

Been there, got the t-shirt with my darling

I very much hope that the cancer he has (don't ever attribute it to him and call it "Ian's cancer") is one that can be fully treated and that the treatment itself is straightforward.

Any support you want, just email me, cos I'm not around on hootoo so much these days.


Fb

~ ~ Always love to read your postings ~ But sorry to read this one.~ So Sad ~ Positive thoughts sent from this side of the world. ..

Have a rant, have a cry..then go and kick its arse hun xxxx

Thinking of you both.


*shake fist at the universe* How dare you ?!

and from me.

Words never really help, and no-one can tell you how to help you cope, or Ian.

It is tough. My Mum appeared to be cured of lung cancer but it is back. With her dementia and COPD I try and treat her as though there is nothing wrong. It appears to keep her calm, although something will always cause a problem to surface.

One day at a time. Show love, compassion and enjoy those together times.

Thinking of you and sending wishes to you both.



MMF