h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Count the sunny hours Post 1
You can call me TCStarted conversation Last Week

Mache es wie die Sonnenuhr - zähle die schönen Stunden nur

Measure time like a sundial - only count the sunny hours"

Rule number 4 of the Hong Kong Central - Mid-Levels Escalator, the longest series of escalators in the world:

"Do not wail against the flow."

Its really hard, not knowing how another feels in the face of something dreadful. And it can feel like you're failing, or that you're being kept out, but usually neither is true. Most likely Ian has no idea how he feels. While he will know he should feel scared / confused / angry - he probably isn't committing to any of those just yet. Sometime jokes are how you work this tuff out, sometimes jokes is all there are, and the emotions never really come - you're too busy getting on with it. Either way, you'll be joking and getting on with it together.

It is hard to know what to say

My wife faced a bout of Leukaemia a little over ten years ago - she made it through, but it wasn't easy.

I have lost both a grandfather and a grandmother to the disease. It took both of my wife's parents.

We have lost several neighbours and friends over the last few years, we have a good friend who is currently fighting this, and her prognosis is not good

All I can say is 'Don't give up, enjoy the good days and endure the bad ones' there will both.

take care. Let us know when you need support - we are here for you.

F S

Thanks everyone. Ian's CT scan (including time waiting) took 2 hours, and then we waited to hear from Helga the Macmillan nurse. She rang on Friday with an appointment for Tuesday 1.30pm with all the professionals dealing with his case. Caroline will collect me then we'll go get him so I'll have more news after.

Our normal relationship seems to have been shelved, Ian usually comes to my home for a meal on Fridays, but he didn't feel well enough so I went to his house when I left Mum's after bathing her and spent the afternoon with him. I tried to talk to him matter-of-factly but again, I got jokes. He's made a CD of music to be played at his funeral. He complained of pain and the meds the GP have given him, Omeprazol, are making it worse, he says, so that's something I've written down to discuss on Tuesday. We normally go to the cinema on Tuesday mornings, 10.30-approx 12.30, so I said we could still go if he wished, but he dismissed it as it would be cutting it too fine (I have a car to run us about now, so that sounded like an excuse to me).

As yet we've had no biopsy/test results, which makes me fear the worst, because I know from first-hand experience that if nothing is found or worrying then they let you know "no further action" (that has just happened to me with my last angiogram). I have a day off today, thank goodness for the distraction that is the Olympics, I'm going to dye my hair first so I look pretty ready for Tuesday and not like the wrung-out old rag I feel inside.

I expect, or at least hope, that once he, and you, both know more, he can open up more. Often the not knowing is worse than the reality, even if the reality turns out itself to be pretty horrid, at least when you've got the results, biopsy etc, CT, he'll know where he stands, and mentally that makes a big differnce (speaking from my experience). Its just so unfair.

Yes, it's the waiting and anticipation that's awful.
Probably they don't give results because the case needs discussing at an MDT meeting, to recommend appropriate course of action. That's what happened with me at each stage. Even post major surgery path report clear had to be ratified by them, although my consultant did tell me unofficially.
Best wishes for Tuesday.

good luck tomorrow

Thanks everyone

Meeting over, I was surprised only one daughter was there

Ian has oesophageal carcinoma stage 2-3. It is 8cm+.

He's having a fitness test on Friday, followed by a PET scan and then an endoscopic ultrasound. Then chemo for 9 weeks, radiotherapy and 6 weeks rest before surgery which will involve 2-3 weeks stay in hospital. This takes us into 2017 at my reckoning and Caroline has already cancelled her November trip to Spain.

How is Ian reacting now? I hope he can open up a bit more about it, to you

Thinking of you.

He's exactly the same, talked about buying a new dressing gown for when he goes into hospital, and last night we were texting each other about the tennis and the diving

Thanks everyone

And obviously a decent towel

Yesterday we (me, Ian & Caroline) went to the cancer support group in Scartho, met two survivors, both with the same cancer as Ian but they were a lot younger, Richard was 52 and Mike was 56. (Ian is 70, 71 next month). Hearing their stories was shocking but I think Ian appreciated hearing them and it showed us what a long road is in front of us. I noticed that neither lost weight before their chemo sessions, though both had lost many stones since. Ian has already lost over a stone, his cough is getting much worse and yesterday he said his central pain where the cancer is has spread to his side and underarm. He is on his way to Castle Hill this morning for his stress test, and I am paranoid with worry that he's not going to pass and there will be no option of surgery.

oh joy of joy. Ian has passed his fitness test. He got 12/18 where 18 is Olympian and below 5 is scrapheap. This means he is a candidate for surgery so I'll take that option and kiss it all over

To celebrate, I'm off to my mother's (and my ex-) GP surgery to collect a prescription for antibiotics, antihistamines and calamine lotion because she is covered in spots and wants to scratch herself to death and the GP who visited at lunchtime didn't know what it was

I presume chemo comes first, before resorting to surgery?