h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I took my scales to weigh Mum today. I had thought that her improved appetite might mean a weight gain, but I was wrong. Last month she was 40kg. Today she was 38kg (about 5st 13lbs)

Sadly the weight seems to drop off in later years but maybe it will take a while for increased food intake to work.

You can only do your best, take care.

Websailor

Today was a bit stressful. I got a call from the morning carer at 8.15am, she said Mum had diarrhoea. Luckily I had some Diocalm so I took it round with me. I've been there all day. I feel like a limp rag! Looking forward to 2 days off caring next week as Mum's going to my sister's on Christmas Eve until Boxing Day when I'll take her home after my sister's party.

GB, please tell your mam, that there are quite a few (of your) "friends" from around the globe all wishing her welland all the good vibe thoughts they can muster are heading her way

to engage today's GB smile

A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
How did you know that the cat was dead ? she asked her pupil
Because I pissed in it's ear and it didn't move answered the child innocently
You did WHAT the teacher exclaimed in surprise
you know explained the boy, I leaned over and went Pssst and it didn't move

I had to convince Mum to go along with the plans, she was quite determined that she wasn't budging when I arrived this morning. However, I washed her hair and blow-waved it, trimmed and filed her fingernails, put a sparkly cardigan on her, told her how pretty she looked... all ready for a party... it worked a treat

My sister's taken her now so I can

Just the trifles to finish off and the meringue to whip, then bake the pie.

Oh and Fantasia is on in an hourmy seat is bookedalong with a and a

GB

Enjoy yourself, GB. You all deserve it.

Thanks, we all had a great time, especially Mum although she was very tired when I brought her home from my sister's last night. Here she is at the party: http://plus.google.com/photos/109163337517290185142/albums/5561319114697834337/5961976250546778754?banner=pwa&pid=5961976250546778754&oid=109163337517290185142
if that link takes you to an album, it's pic 4 of 4 which is the current one, she is wearing a multi-coloured suit and black tights. The other pics were 3 years ago, she's almost unrecognisable to me.

What I find hard to deal with is, having already arrived at Mum's and had a chat about "what I know" (since the last time I saw her, the previous day) I will then walk into the kitchen to make a for us...then I walk in the front room with her tea and it's "Hello! What do you know?" like we never had the conversation 5 minutes before.

And family members. Even I'm forgetting their names now as I have to describe them to Mum. One Sunday I was there when my younger brother and his wife arrived. They talked with Mum and after they left Mum made comments to me about the couple who had just left. She told me she'd had a conversation with her mother and never thought they'd marry, as she "could have had her pick of the men". I questioned her a little more closely and she'd thought Rachel was her friend's daughter, this friend had been her bridesmaid during the war... long before Rachel's birth. When I explained that that was Robert's wife, she got very confused.

unfortunately, as memories fade, past memories become the fore. One of my uncles was the same, he needed 24/7 coveras one day after a short search, he found "wandering" and he told them that he was going home (where he lived as a kid)

That is really worrying, GB. At the moment, my mother is mostly OK, although she will ask three times in the course of one phone call if we're all all right, or before Christmas she was repeatedly asking if we had everything organised for Christmas, etc. She will also tell me the same thing three times. I tell her she's already told me, but it will start all over again in the next phone call.

At least she knows it's Christmas, although, as is normal for a pensioner, she has trouble remembering what day of the week it is. That is confusing enough even for working people at the moment, with so many days off work in the middle of the week!

Someone else was talking about this sort of problem with dementia here on hootoo a while back. The best thing to do seems to look at photograph albums with them as much as possible - past and present.

Here's wishing you the strength and courage to face this every day and many compliments on the way you're managing so far.

I've tried the photo album thing, and so has my brother. She flatly refused to look at them!

Today she asked me why she has so many carers. I said the carers are there to help, because she can't do the things she used to. She said she would try and I asked her if she'd like to make a cup of tea. No, she was too tired, but she'd get back to it (the usual answer). I cooked her cauliflower cheese from scratch, exactly what she asked for, then when I said I was going to do some shopping, she asked if I was going back. I said I'd see her tomorrow and she looked crestfallen. I got all I needed and I'm getting a photo of my sister & I enlarged and framed for her (and a duplicate for my sister), a selfie I took at my sister's house on Boxing Day, can't believe how well it turned out: http://plus.google.com/photos/109163337517290185142/albums/5852887092327332593/5964319140878717362?banner=pwa&pid=5964319140878717362&oid=109163337517290185142
my camera (indoors) always has the dreaded red-eye but for once, my eye colour is unaffected - same with my lovely sister.

My mother's aunt lived with us for about 7 years when I was a child. She had completely lost her memory, and every night she would thank my parents for having her over for dinner, but she thought it was about time for her to be going home now. They would explain, sometimes patiently, sometimes less so, that she lived with us, and would bring her up to her bedroom. She recognised this and would settle down once she saw it.

She was generally a very happy woman, and well looked after by my mother.

It sounds as if you do an equally good job with your mother and she is also happy. That is the important thing. You can't bring back her memory; you can't change her. Just make sure she is happy.

Those are very sensible words, Gnomon!

I hope a poem I heard today will help a bit. Have a tissue ready though. It was read out on my local radio station during a discussion on dementia.



'Do not ask me to remember,
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm so confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you,
To be with me at all cost.

So do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting,
Can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me.
Love me till my life is gone.'


GB, don't crucify yourself with the whys and wherefores, try and accept it is happening and there is nothing you can do to change it, just be there, do what you can and accept it, for your own sake. You haven't reached the 'lights on but no-one's home' look in her eyes yet, so just take one day at a time and treasure the good bits.

much love, Websailor

Websailor what a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing.

Indeed

It may even be helpful for people who have to live with seriously depressed people too

We took Mum out today for a New Year meal. She did it justice

This coming week is the first anniversary of Mum becoming ill.