h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As the sailor watches Spike form his lasso he wraps his arms and legs as tightly around the trunk as possible.
The resulting catapult actions exceeds even the best 'E-Ticket Ride' conceived by the Disney Parks (E-Ticket Rides were the really expensive ones back in the olden days)

As the tree reaches the far end of its snap half a dozen Pooh Sticks fly from his shirt pocket in the general direction of those gathered on the beach.

As the tree slowly begins to stop its quivering the sailor moves down a few dozen feet and shifts his course toward the bridge in a new, hopefully confusing, direction.

[ooc] Good to see you back Spike, I was sort of waiting for you (which here means hoping for some good interaction) [/ooc]

F S

*Watches the sticks fly in one direction (which here means presents a reasonable facsimile of The Scream) and then spins (which here means lumbers) around to watch FS move in some other (which here means somewhat indeterminate) direction. Looks back at the sticks. Looks back, trying to find FS. Sticks. FS. Sticks. FS.*

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Pokes his head above the surface of the bridge. Spies FS.*

Well, hello thailor!

FS gives Gerrald a friendly wave. Some place in the cobwebs of his his mind he recalls reading a house rule about Trolls... Are we supposed to feed them or avoid them

He removes one of his few remaining Pooh Sticks from his trouser pocket and drops it near his new companion.

'Do you know how long it will be before the tides changes?'

F S

*a lovely pooh sticks falls at Lil's feet, and she picks it up*

*looks around to see whether this is a hint from nbb to get on with it*


BOOOOMMMMMMM!

Hey guys, cease fire -- I believe she's sunk.

*hits the controls to bring herself to a standing position* Shall we head for the bridge?

*Takes a deep breath (which here means inhales any loose leaves, twigs and insects within a 10 foot radius) and slowly lets it out (which here means propelling said leaves, twigs and bugs (and one startled rabbit) into the woods in front of him). Now calmer (which here means no longer foaming at the mouth), the bear considers his options. Recovering the lost sticks would be difficult (which here means next to impossible without a massacre), but since all pooh sticks eventually make their way to the bridge, perhaps all he needs to do is wait near the bridge.

Gets up from where he was sitting and strides (which here means shambles) towards the bridge. Sees FS and the Troll. Anger briefly flares (which here means eyes turn red and steam shoots from ears), but is quickly suppressed once the look on the Troll's face registers. A sly look (which here means squinted eyes and a half-snarl) crosses the bear's face.

Spike addresses FS*

Well, sir, it would appear that you have prevailed. You were a formidable opponent and I salute your prowess. *steals a sideways glance at the troll* It takes a strong and manly specimen of humanity to best a giant ursine such as myself. Such a display of machismo is seldom seen.

*Listens to the bear with increasing interest. Looks back and forth between the bear and FS as the bear speaks, ending up staring in open-mouthed admiration at FS*

You beat the bear?! That'th amathing!

Thay, would you like to come with me to my humble dwelling beneath the bridge and thee my toe collection?

The sailor slowly moves to the lower branches, carefully remaining above the reach of the bruin's claws.

'Sir Pooh, you have been a most worthy and difficult opponent. It has taken all of the strength and skill obtained from many years at sea to elude you.' (which here means all the luck God reserves for fools and sailors.)

Brave Troll, I am sure your 'Toe Collection' is quite interesting, but I an afraid that I must remain here until my companions from the beach arrive. - The sailor refrains from telling the story about first time he was shown an interesting private collection. He woke up the next morning far out to sea where he began learning his new profession.



F S

*replaces the dried out/destroyed pies, while carefully avoiding the accumulated dangerous animals and persons*

I hear we had 26 new researchers this past week. I wonder if they're all from the Gootanic? I say, bots, that's enough with the cannon! Perhaps you could help nbb with those old pies...

*A very large bear, dressed in a black tuxedo, with black shoes (size 42), a black tie and a black top hat slowly walks to the end of the thread, with head bowed. Removes his hat and looks at the dust that the thread peters out to. A tear rolls down his face.*

You were such an exemplary thread, with unlimited potential. You passed away prematurely, in the prime of life, and I shall mourn you.

*The bear slowly shuffles away into the woods.*

*A big ball of blue fur stuffed into a black track suit (hey - it's the only black clothes he owns, okay?) thumps down to the end of the thread and places a single red rose in the dust.*

Me sorry.

*Turns and walks away. Pauses at a pie rack, looks both ways, slips several pies under his shirt and walks off thread.*

*cries at the failure of his triathlon to even begin. All the paperwork, all the pies and we failed to even make it to the ceremonial pooh stick bridge*


*droops down a releases a single pooh stick, before departing, not even looking back to see it pass under the bridge*

*A very dapper looking troll (at least he thinks so) walks down to the end of the thread, wearing a back Armani suit (who knew they made them that big), with a ruffled shirt with ruffled cuffs, a black bow tie and a diamond stick pin (which is pinned to the centre of the bow tie). He carries a black cane in one hand (which looks surprisingly like a spray-painted club), and a scented handkerchief in the other (scented with eau de toilet - scented after the toilet had been flushed … really). He looks down at the end of the thread and a large tear falls from his cheek into the dust. He pauses a moment with head bowed, then sadly walks away towards the bridge.*

The sailor drops reluctantly from his perch in the tree.

He knows he was late in joining the festivities, but they seemed to offer so much promise of adventure. As he slowly shuffles back to the h2g2 seaport to find a new ship, he allows the Pooh Sticks he has so carefully carved to slip from his fingers along the edge of the bear's hundred acre wood. Maybe next year? The thought slips up to the heavens as the salty figure trudges over the hill's peak.

Back to the Forums

F S

*basks serenely in the afternoon sun, in hand, while the bots labor to pull the cannon back up the beach*

*walks over to the returned cannon, reloads, and lights the fuse, before ambling away, whistling all the time*

Overhead, in the swiftly scudding clouds, odd variegated shafts of light flash forth, lancing down to wash the beach in dapples of rainbow hues.

B4animpendingstorm

*The stratocumulus clouds grow thicker, spreading across the sky in thick billows. They roil and tumble outward, seemingly from a point above the Beach, and there are flashes of light that THUD with each burst of brightness.*

*At the very center of the massing cloud bank, a silver cylinder slips down from the sky, wisps of vapor clinging and trailing behind it like ragged cloth.*

{The slim silver starship arcs downward at a high rate of speed. It levels out mere yards above the strand, shedding its velocity quickly, the wake of its passing swirling forward around it as it comes to hover in place.}

{With feather-weight gentleness it touches down, its landing gear humping up the sand around the pads. The thrumming of its engine winds down in stages, and the cooler Autumn air along the beach condenses into tiny tendrils rising upward and blown away by the breeze.}

{When all is quiet, there's a muted thump followed by an exhalation of air, and a gangplank lowers from the underbelly of the starship. Blue light washes outward along the flat ramp, spilling in a cone of brilliance upon the rills of sand. Two shadows move slowly down the gangplank, followed by a set of tentacles and a pair of legs.}

B4UguesswhoitisfromtheReveal