h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*studies the anatomical form of the HoD for a while* quietly heads off after everyone else*

C'mon Bunny! We'll see what's down that tunnel!

/* Rushes down the tunnel ahead of everyone else, needle thrust forward, Carmel still in his pocket. */

Brain malfunction. Eeek.

Um, I don't mean to be a bother, but I can't help but guess from your posture that you are not making plans to make friends with whatever happens to be up ahead. If it's not too terribly much trouble I rather think that if you do intend to go charging off I might prefer it if you pass me to someone more retiscent...uh...uh... ...um, if you have a teeny moment I could do with a hand up, please. I seem to be wedged up against this half empty bottle...

d'E - where are you going? Wait for us!

*hastens after d'E and *

Squick, squelch

*rushes off up the tunnel too*

Oh blimey, I hate forward charges, always seem to end in tears!

*picks up pace to keep up with the front runners*

*Watches everyone rush past him* How rude! Rushing about like that will just give you indigestion you know.

*the approaching Heavy Metal music suddenly stops. The ears twitch franticly*

Crunch? I distinctly hear crunching...Oh. Whatever it is isn't listening to it's boom-box. It's eating it. Oh, my.... *faints*

There, there's the....


















Aaaaaaiiigh! Aaaaaighhh!



















Aaaaaaaiiiiiiigh!

I pinched myself with the needle!

That's my needle, thank you.

*runs up the side of d'Elaphant and retrieves the needle* stows the needle safely in its proper place in her left welly* joins the in d'Elaphant's pocket* holds the bunny's hand*

*Catches up with the group in time to hear the crunching.*

Oooooo. I don't like the sound of that. Heavy metal can give you indigestion even without eating it.

*Notices a side-tunnel branching off the main tunnel.*

Uh, perhaps this way might be better. Did anyone bring a sword to cut that web that's blocking the entrance?

*Looks over at Affy with raised eyebrow.*

I might have a plastic picnic knife in a pocket somewhere....

*says in a small voice*


I don't like spiders very much.

*Affy grins manically*

Not used this thing for a while,....

*He rapidly unsheathes his Elvish Sword of Great Antiquity, and begins hacking and hewing at the giant web*

If my past experiences with giant spiders have told me things, they don't like to have webs cut down. But as long as it isn't a very poisonous spider, we should be fine. If it is,....it'll be a nice, long fight.

*Continues grinning manically. Wonders why this web is taking so long to slice through*

Hmmm,....extra strength in this web....

Nice sword.

Lets hope the spider isn't as tough as the web.

*replaces lightening bolts with self-igniting fire bolts on the crossbow*

*Affy continues his attempts to leave the web cleft in twain, but stops when he notices something*

Um, my sword is beginning to glow blue. Slowly getting brighter. Not intense enough to be the HoD, but I'd be willing to bet that the spider is comin' home.

*Affy starts working on the web even faster. The upper right-hand corner of it has come off*

*Watches while finishing the Kendal Mint Cake. Tries to wipe the glowing goo from his spats with a handkerchief, but only succeeds in making his handkerchief glow.* Bother.

*Continues hacking*

I wonder if my blade is Vorpal. Can a non-Vorpal blade go Snicker-Snack?

*dropping from a narrow fissure just other side of web*

*turning, snaps out orders in rattish*

*8 strange looking things in armor tumble out of fissure and run up the tunnel in formation, drawing short swords and chattering ecited*

*red eyes glowing, looking at swordman, big rat grin*

heh heh heh vorpal

*springs up wall and gnawing at places where web attached to wall, horrid screeching from further up tunnel.

*soldiers come back and salute Fearless Styx, jump back in fissure*

Look out! *corner of web drops down* Spider is dead now.