h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wanders along the Great Hall main walkway untill they get to a door. It's rather large, and has the words 'Access Denied. Restricted Area. Permission by the authority of Pr. C. Tonks only.'*
Right, I'll open this door in a bit...
E, got the biscuits?

*looks in amazement at the door..sure that she's never really quite noticed it before...well..apart from once, but she's not really going to say about that even in her thoughts..*

*checks something*

Yep..I've got the biscuits...

Nope. No one's been in here exept me...

*Door opens. They all go in. The first thing they see is that they are in a small room, with little lenses at all feasable angles. Beams shoot out as soon as the door closes behind them.*

[Scan complete. No hostile or unauthorised subjects located n group. Temporary authorisation for all subjects exept Pr. C. Tonks is subject to the terms set by Pr. C. Tonks. Please proceed.]

*A door infront of them opens and they walk through it. Pr. C. Tonks kept walking, but everyone else stopped momentarily, astounded by what they saw. It was rather large. Equipment buzzed to life on the entrance of Pr. C. Tonks, robots and other droids hurried about with devises unseen or unthought of before, covered in sheets now that the other people had come in, not authorised to see it.*
*These were the Primary Labs, the purpose of the whole research vessel.*

Hurry along now people. No time *sniggers* to waste...

*They walk along gallaries over huge towering machines, reaching for hundreds of metres high. Looking down, they could all see amazing displays of electricity, shooting between equipment. All the most important inventions (the ones that had not yet been seen by anyone else but Pr. C. Tonks) were covered up, or rendered invisible. They all went up several lifts to get to the right floor.*
*They entered the room dedicated to all the attempts at time travel. This is where the whole quest had started. After years of research, Pr. C. Tonks became the first person to come up with time travel, and was able to keep the past in a certain order, and bar off parts of it so no one could change the future.*
*The latest version of the Time Machine, working using the RGA method, stood at the back of the room. There was no place for people to stand in it, and no edifices for beams to shoot out and dematerialise them into another time. Instead, there was a bit of writing on the florr saying "Stand Here". They stood there.*
*Pr. C. Tonks went over to the main control panel, and set the TM ready for transport. He used the preset time coordinates he had programmed in the day before.*

Right, if you could all stand there, we'll head off. Back, even.
E, got the cheesy biscuits? Good...

*He stood on the platform himself, and soon the machine whirred into action. The six Gelectrons residing in the machine's main chamber began to spin. They span with all the effects on going forwards, but were infact going backwards. Reversed Gelectron Acceleration.*
*They span faster and faster, until the gravitational force pulled the whole group into a small hole in the machine, where they inversed themselves in the centre of the spinning circle of Gelectrons.*
*They deinversed thenselves in the past. Right infront of a dinosaur.*

Ah. Ok....

A dinosaur...? Where.....???

*turns around*

Oh my...................

[A Mew flies over and chases the dinosaur away. It is a different Mew. And the next one is a different Mew, also. And the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one. Dozens of Mews are here. However, they seem more adapted for supporting their own weight. They are larger, shaped more like a Mewtwo ...]

[One of them approaches the humans]

[Mewem, telepathically: }Strangers ... from the future?{]

[The Mew we know appears]

[Mew]}Yeah! So this is what we were like!{

[Mewem: }Fascinating. Is that what we will become? Carefree, innocent, small, physically weak?{]

[embarrassed] }Uh ... yeah ...{

[Mewem: }I see. There is nothing to worry about as long as you do not try to change the past. I am Mewem; these are my people.{]

[The other pre-Mews bow]

er...........r

*passes out*

[Both Mew and Mewem laugh]

Well, greetings to you all, I'm sure.
I am Pr. C. Tonks, most scientifically advanced lifeforem in the Universe, and hopefully the Omniverse.
do you mind if we have a party here?
I'm sure E can persuade you with...

..well..I could possibly charm you with my guile, cunning charm..or these rather delicious cheesy biscuits..

Do you have to chase the dino's off though...I mean, we were rather hoping they'd have fun at this party too.....

Or rather, we'd have fun with them...

...

Erm...

Sorry, that sounded terribly dodgy!

Very dodgy...especially after all that commotion with the monkeys..

Please, just DON'T!

Oops..was I thinking out loud again...?

[Mew] }Yes.{

[Mewem] }No, I was making a mistake...{

[Mew] }Yes.{

[Mewem] }No, I was making a mistake...{

*wakes back up*
wow, that was quite a shocker, I think. I'm all better now.

Why, Hello there Mews and More Mews.

*With perfect, and immaculate timing, the cheesy biscuits E holds out for Engels on a plate start to shake*

*and no..she hasn't been drinking...*

anyone got a glass of water we can use to test this before I start looking for a very large T-Rex...?

oh..hang on...

*clicks her fingers..a glass of water appears which she places on the ground & watches*

*the water presently spills out of the glass as it is knocked over by the stampeding of...*

*screams*