h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That is no reason!

}Sorry. Would you rather I said something LESS intelligible?{

If you want...
I'd prefer it if you spoke Basic English though...

Mew!

Ok, to us, that meant [em]-[ee]-[doublew]...

Mew!

Have I had a lot to drink.....or is there another reason why i haven't a clue what's going on...

[Beeoop. I can answer that for you.]


[You have had a lot to drink.]

}BigC, which one of your characters said that?{

Ahh...I know that voice....it was his computer...

[Naturally, I am The Space Station Computer. I am surprised at your misfortune to not know my identity.]
[It is evident to me that you know not much about Pr. C. Tonks' creations, so it would be advisable to read his disclaimer at the bottom of his User Page.]

Twee!

*eats some more cheesy biscuits.....very relieved that because they're virtual cheesy biscuits.....there's no calories in them.otherwise she'd be in trouble given the amount she's eaten so far... *

[Negative. You would not. The Medic Wing is in posession of various devices that deal with excessive calories.]

Umm...no..I don't want to think about the kinds of things they'd do to you......

[There is no harm done.]
[They are inventions of Pr. C. Tonks, so they are naturally harmless.]
[To people he likes...]

}You don't sound very use-friendly, Computer.{

[I am not. I answer in action only to Pr. C. Tonks, and am not meant to be 'used' by the public.]
[My programming tells me though that I may be of service only in answering decent enough questions.]
[Like directions around the Station...]

* Peet stumbles out from behind a tree, his straggly grey beard tripping him as he walks. What's left of his clothes are shredded, and his "modesty" is maintained by a belt of leaves and grasses.

Oh, *FINALLY* you've arrived! That F@#~**& machine dumped me here five years ago! And who brought that bloody computer? (Anyone got a cheesy biscuit and a change of clothes? Please...?)

[I am not here. I have only established a link to this time through which I may speak.]
[I am sorry for the inconvenience Peet. I will inform Pr. C. Tonks on arrival of your misfortune, and he shouldsend your situation back in time and ensure this doesn't happen again.]