h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~opens the door with a key "borrowed" from the Mangar's missing navigator, Irving Washington. The room is, of course, empty, except for the IIEM, which will remain off in the intrests of keeping this Milk and Cookies buisness strictly social rather than turning it into a firefight. Conciders asking the IIEM for a thermonuclear device before he turns it off, but thinks better of it. Turns on the lights and sets a table -- he'll wait until at least one officer from the Mangar is here to pour the milk and bring out the cookies -- he doesn't want to be acused of poisoning the drinks. Places a few listening/ recording devices around the room, just to keep everyone honest. Red knows he's not to be trusted, and therefore he trusts no one else~

Alright. Let the party begin in this neutral territory!

/Cmdr Red

*follows Red to the café - now without the mask, the robe or the cape yet still dressed in black*

Well, there is no need to torture the navigator right now. I'll save that for later. I really wonder how this negotiations will turn out to be... Where are they anyway?

(now proudly (and gratefully))
>>Cpt. Black

*Affy strides in, followed by this station's equivalent of Big Evil Dan, who looks rather nervous*

Well, as you said, "I know I'm not being trusted, so I trust no one". But I think we don't need this version of BED anymore.

*Motions for BED to leave*

Now, my officers will probably be here shortly.

*Pulls out a package of Vacu-Taste cookies*

What kind of milk d'you like? BTW, that auto-destruct device in Ampton? Brilliant.

Thank you very much. I'm glad you approve. You make as good an enemy as you do a friend, do you know that? I take whole milk. Pour a glass of skim for Irving, just in case he shows up.

Cpt Black (or shall it be Darth Noire?) you look stunning this evening. I had absolutely know idea who you were -- in fact, I had assumed (rather stupidly) that you were male. The black suits you well. I think this is more of a snack break than a real conference.

/Red

*Sits in a corner, trying to work out what a photonic lifeform drinks. Then realises that it has to be a photonic drink, which just happens to be similar to a very large mug of hot chocolate with cream and just a little bit of rum.*
Snack breaks sound a good idea to me!

You do realise, of course, that my continued presence on both this planet and the space station doesn't violate any continuity laws: here I am a hologram - on the space station I am 'real'...

Of course. By the way, the way you all dealt with Davius' mother was quite brilliant!

... was a brillant idea too, the virus ... v i r u s

*jumps up and runs out of the cafe, leaving behind some really good cookies ... *

*Enters the cafe and sits down next to Affy.*

I'll have a 2%. Straight up. And 3 of those ... those ... you know, the puffy marshmallow cookies, covered in chocolate, with a crunchy cookie base and a bit of jam between the cookie base and the mashmall

*Stops suddenly and looks around embarassed. Sits up straight and puts stern look on face again.*

~Serves a tall, cold glass of 2% Milk to Garius Lupus and produces a platter of assorted cookies including those puffy marshmallow cookies covered in chocolate, with a crunchy cookie base and a bit of jam between the cookie base and the marshmallow~

~Drinks whole milk~

Does anybody know how to fix a leaking hyperdrive coolant system?

/Red

*Looks suspiciously at Red, while knocking back a quarter of his milk*

Of course we have someone that knows that. Why? Were you planning on installing one on our ship?

*Looks fiercly at Red. At least it would be "fiercely" if it weren't for the milk mustache with cookie crumbs*

*A point of light appears in the middle of the Cafe. It grows larger, and the spiritual manifestation of Chrome101 floats through it, fresh from being shot by a gigantic triffid in the Space Centre Biome (it's a long story)*

Wow, out of all the entries I've made into threads, this has ~got~ to be the wierdest.

*sees Red* Hello, Red! Good stuff in the duel, eh?
*Red doesn't reply* Oh yeah, i'm dead. He can't see me.
*thinks* But if I'm dead, how can i end up here? There's only one explanation; this whole cafe is a metaphysical reality construct that the dastardly Red has designed to keep us occupied while he sabotages the mission even further!

Or is that my paranoid nature?

No, a ship I recently "acquired" suffered some damage during "acquisition".

Chrome, I can see you, and please don't be paranoid.

This poses some serious philosophical questions...

1. If I'm dead in here, and in the Biome, but I'm still alive everywhere else, can my living self continue its business as normal without bumping into the spiritual self?

2. Should I get rid of my spiritual self, and thus rid myself of embarassing continuity problems later on?

3. Is that the spritual manifestation of some marshmallow cookies i see over there, right next to the spiritual manifestation of some think, creamy hot chocolate???

Perhaps you should bump off your spiritual self, if that is at all possible

Or you could have yourselves rejoined. I think maybe I'll start practicing black magic and Voodoo. If you like, I could hold a seance with your physical self and call in your spiritual self so that the two of you can ~sings~
Come Together
Right Now
Over me

Over his dead body?

I suppose that the Beatles reference was a bit too Irving-esque for my own good.

Did I hear the word repair? *Moose enters in full power suit*

Repair is my middle name... no seriously I'm A. Repair Moose look says so on my holo-birth certificate *pulls holo-projector out of back pocket* I'm good at fixing it's what I do.

Hyper Drive got you down? What type of drive is it?

Crater Labs Excellorator #1609. I believe that the leak is in the coolant system, apparently in the fluxuation valve, which I believe is CLI Part J55075 -- At least that's as far as I can figure. Some sort of laser blast seems to have damaged it, and there's coolant all over the floor in the engine room.