h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I once knew a man called Tom Bombadill (1)
Whose hobby was searching for roadkill (2)
He'd patrol all the roads (3)

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I once knew a man called Tom Bombadill (1)
Whose hobby was searching for roadkill (2)
He'd patrol all the roads (3)
And collect all the squashed toads (4)

I once knew a man called Tom Bombadill (1)
Whose hobby was searching for roadkill (2)
He'd patrol all the roads (3)
And collect all the squashed toads (4)
To cook for thirty minutes under the grill. (5)

His barbeques were sparsely attended (1)

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His barbeques were sparsely attended (1)
For the roadkill so often offended (2)

His barbeques were sparsely attended (1)
For the roadkill so often offended (2)
And as for the smell (3)

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His barbeques were sparsely attended (1)
For the roadkill so often offended (2)
And as for the smell (3)
Well, on that we won't dwell (4)

His barbeques were sparsely attended (1)
For the roadkill so often offended (2)
And as for the smell (3)
Well, on that we won't dwell (4)
Still, at least the weather was splendid. (5)

On the first sunny morning in Spring (1)

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On the first sunny morning in Spring (1)
I was sitting, unravelling string, (2)

On the first sunny morning in Spring (1)
I was sitting, unravelling string, (2)
When along came a cat (3)

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On the first sunny morning in Spring (1)
I was sitting, unravelling string, (2)
When along came a cat (3)
Who curled up on the mat (4)

On the first sunny morning in Spring (1)
I was sitting, unravelling string, (2)
When along came a cat (3)
Who curled up on the mat (4)
And then didn't do anything(5)

F S

I didn't start one

The flowers all think it is spring(1)

The flowers all think it is spring (1)
And birds are beginning to sing (2)

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The flowers all think it is spring (1)
And birds are beginning to sing (2)
But we English know better (3)

The flowers all think it is spring (1)
And birds are beginning to sing (2)
But we English know better (3)
'Cos it will get wetter (4)

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The flowers all think it is spring (1)
And birds are beginning to sing (2)
But we English know better (3)
'Cos it will get wetter (4)
And then snow in June, that's the sting! (5)

If poppies and roses are red (1)

If poppies and roses are red (1)
Are violets blue or are we misled? (2)

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If poppies and roses are red (1)
Are violets blue or are we misled? (2)
Are these colours true (3)

If poppies and roses are red (1)
Are violets blue or are we misled? (2)
Are these colours true (3)
Or are daffodils blue? (4)

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If poppies and roses are red (1)
Are violets blue or are we misled? (2)
Are these colours true (3)
Or are daffodils blue? (4)
And is the sky *really* called Fred?

A lemon was squeezed on a pie

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