h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now, who was it stole today's delivery of doughnuts???

~Irving

Me hopes that... that accusing finger is not pointing at me Mr Washington... ~burp!!~ Ooppss... me does beg your pardon... must of been something me ate... ~grin~

Hi Greebo, how are things?

I'd call the Holistic Detective in on this case, but what would I pay him with when all my doughnuts are missing?

~Irving

Coffee? After all I thought this was a coffee shop Irv.

I'm already paying him in coffee for a rush job he did for me earlier... I had him follow himself around so that we could put his likeness on the float. Now he gets free coffee.

Anyhow, I can't help thinking that the doughnut theif will return to the scene of the crime!

~Irving

Perhaps a little bait would help. Here's a mobius doughnut from Crater Labs Inc (we get them from Joanna, too)

*Grins*

Thanks to Crater Labs, Inc. my donut vault has state-of-the-art security! I always make sure that there's at least one donut in there, and it's pretty much always safe from anything!

You know, I think the donut stall has quite a racket going. How many buisinesses are getting daily shipments of these donuts? Crater Labs, Inc., for one, this Cafe, I have a special order for my telepathic goldfish (who's doing just fine, BTW), my chess room has a few of her donuts on the side, and while I've not been there very often, I'd bet that the Forum & the Firkin has a few lying around . . .

You know, I don't think that fish are the currency of h2g2 anymore. Donuts seem to have replaced them. They're more common, but the demand seems to get rid of that problem.

*Thoughtfully sips the Usual he hadn't ordered yet*

The mind boggles...

~Irving

*Enters timidly having only recently arrived*

Could I have a coffe mocha please?

Hello, there. Nice to meet you.

Irv, could I order this Usual I'm drinking now?

greetings, possum. are you sure you just want coffee?.....or maybe something stronger?
whatever....allow me to buy it for you. that is, if irving returns in time.

*returns in time*

Good thing I checked these posts before turning in for the evening! Wouldn't want to leave Possum's Coffee Mocha unmade! *hands over coffee mocha* c(~)
Shall I put that on your running tab, Dr. J?
Alright, Afgncaap5, you can order the Usual you've been drinking now, and I'll make it earlier.

~Irving

I thought I'd settled my tab, but obviously I'm mistaken.
*hands irv a diamond-encrusted black amex card*
Put it all on that and, incidentally, what is the total so far?

Hi Possum... why don't you sit down and we can share a doughnut together... ~grin~... me can eat ... whilst you watch...

AHA! I think someone has taken the bait.

Shh! Don't let on! Besides, that's really inconclusive. Greebo would be going after that doughnut even if she weren't the criminal. Wait! *notices something by where the delivery USED to be* I think I can name our theif. He had motive, opportunity, and he's left behind a clue...

*WHO WILL IRVING WASHINGTON UNMASK AS THE TRUE THEIF? GREEBO T. CAT? GARIUS LUPUS? ASTEROID LIL? OR AN AS YET UNNAMED PRESENCE? STAY TUNED 'TIL LATER, SAME BAT TIME, SAME BAT CHANNEL!*

~Irving

Ah no. Mom it's the adverts again. Can I have some more crisp, coke, a choccy bar or 12 and some Pringles.

*WAAAAAZZZZZZZUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP?*

*WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE AROMA CAFÉ MYSTERY SERIES, STARRING IRVING WASHINGTON, GREEBO T. CAT, AFGNCAAP5, AND MANY MORE*

I suppose you're wondering why I've gathered you all here? Well, if you are, you're a bit batty. I've gathered you here to reveal the theif and you should have known that. Let's review:
Greebo T. Cat: motive, no alibi, but a sweet cute face that we all trust. Couldn't possibly have been Greebo, 'cause she said so.

Afgncaap5: If you can't trust a Holistic Detective who also happens to be a super villain, who can you trust?

Garius Lupus: Known accomplice of Afgncaap5, but spends enough time at the Doughnut shop that he needn't steal MY delivery of doughnuts.

Asteroid Lil: No alibi, but I can't establish a motive, either.

Demon Drawer: Don't be silly, he's watching this on TV, he's not in the show!

So who does that leave? Anybody else got a guess?

~Irving

Me thinks it was Kato from the Pink Panther films... ~grim grin~... me never did trust that fellow... and he's sneaky... and he used to neat the crap outta Peter Sellers... Tee Hee...