h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well...on the lyrics side of this chain:

I hold your hand in mine -- Tom Lehrer

I hold your hand in mine dear
I press it to my lips
I take a healthy bite from
Your dainty finger tips

My pleasure'd be complete dear
If you were only here
But still I keep your hand as
A precious souvenier

The day you died I cut it off
I really don't know why
For now each time I kiss it
I get blood stains on my tie

I'm sorry now I killed you
For our love was something fine
Until they come to get me I
Shall hold your hand in mine!!!

And to think he's a Professor of Mathematics at Harvard!

For all you fans of French politics and radical black&white French films about Parisian ghettos, here's a poem that I'm sure you'll like:

The Penis of of Le Pen
Is hardly ever hard.

Is that a bit rude? Sorry.

Yeah Tom Lehrer!

Here is a little poem i wrote.
I hope you like it.

I want to speak with my shadow,
I want to fly into the darkness,
For the light is pain.

I want to destroy my mind,
I want to hide behind a mask,
For reality is pain.

I want to hate my peers,
I want to close my eyes,
For love is pain.

I want to break down and cry,
I want to laugh at the stars,
For I am in pain.

I want to leave this God-forsaken house,
I want to escape this dusty realm,
For in it is pain.

Tyler Sabourin

Ciao!

A little Paul Simon, I feel...

She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed the way she brushes her hair back from her forehead
She says losing love is like a window to your heart
Everyone can see you're blown apart
Everyone can feel the wind blow...

Your poem made me think of "I am a rock"...

Paul Simon rocks.

*Approaches stage, grubby piece of notepaper in hand*

Unnnnnh... Thank you.

This one is called "Test Pilot"

I crash test Scotch Eggs for
The Ministry of Defence.
I hurl them from
High office buildings
I
watch them splatter on
The pavement below.

The Ministry of Defence
Has yet to develop
Pavement-proof
Scotch Eggs.

*shuffles off stage looking shy*

I'm being left behind by something,
Being ignored and misinformed,
Now peers are out of grasp, shadows from my past.
I will regain my grip on this life,
I must or I will drown forever-
Maybe this time or maybe next,
More than just a fingertips' brush
I will anchor myself firmly,
And be swept into the unknown chasm with the rest.

Here's one I wrote yesterday.

W*** this Morning!!!


Wake up and smell the coffe
Look up and see the dawn
Lift your head off the table
And out of the cornflake bowl

Wake up the bus ain't waiting
Get up to go pay the bills
Straighten your tie and head out
Wipe the milk from your face

Wake up and mind the traffic
Step up and cross the road
Enter your building lose your soul
And that cornflake up your nose

Hooray for the demon drawer.

Yeah. Dig it.

::Beatnick clap (Snap, snap)::

The one about eggs was fantastic.

::Encore snap::

Ya?

Yeah DD!

I feel the same way about school...

*walks up the stage with a 100 Mexican peso bill and a magnifying glass. He reads nervously.*
Amo al canto del cenzontle
pajaro de las cuatrocientas voces,
Amo al color del jade
y al enervante perfume de las flores,
pero mas amo a mi amigo el hombre.

-Netzayacoyotl

*blinks various times and walks out*

*snaps to the beat, even though she knows no spanish*

Lies

I sit here thinking,
Thinking why,
Why my life,
Has slowly died,
And from a distance,
A faint voice tells,
The reason you life,
Has slowly died,
Is you have lived it,
With only lies.


Lucas Panoulias

Well, i'm not sure whether you clap or snap to poems, so i'm just going to do my thing!

YAAAAAAAAAAH Big Luke!!! Way to go BOYEE! *WHISTLE**WHISTLE* OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

~ Tyler

JERRY JERRY JERRY


Whoooo Wooo Oooo Oooooo



Lucas

Tempus Fugit-

i sit
in spring
upon a wall.

i sit
and watch
the red leaves fall.

i wonder where
the time did go

i sit
and watch
the falling snow.

simple, huh?

V.simple

Heres one:

Twas brilig and the slithy toaths
Did piss off down the pub
All mimsy were the borrow-groves
And the moam raths had a few as well.

"Oh! Frubjous Day!", said Papa Jay,
while chortling in his joy.
"And furthermore, Calooh Callay!"
he told the frightened boy.
"the Jubjub bird is vanquished now,
the polywog is dead!
the Jabberwock shall no more grow
to haunt your little head!"
The boy, at this, was sore afraid
and told Paw Jay this news.
He pointed to his forple blade
which he had hoped to never use.
but papa said, "Don't worry, son!
you'll be a hero yet!
with all the warriors you'll run;
your blade with beastly blood you'll wet!"
the boy disliked the sound of that,
it really sounded bad
so with a blade that went "rat-tat"
he slew his dear old dad.
"hooray!" cried he in frubjous glee
and chortled in his joy.
i've killed the beast of misery;
i'm now a man, and not a boy!

no, there is no moral to this story. i'm just desecrating the works of Lewis Carrol for a kick. hope u liked it, tho.