h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just a little addition. If you go to a pub with a bunch of people (ie locals) note that drinks are drunken fairly fast. That is to say that the average Aussie doesn't "sit" on his/her beer talking for a fair amount of time while sipping it away. The best advice for a Non-Aussie is probably to shout a round for the mob you are hanging out with... this should endear you to them instantly.
Once you get out of the cities and to places like Meekatharra, Karratha or Cocklebiddy you will find that beer might also be served in cans on 375 ml. When you get to that stage you'll need a) an esky b) ice c) cans of beer (ie a carton) and d) a stubby holder. The last being an implement made of Neoprene which keeps the beer cool and your fingers warm. The way by which you combine the four things mentioned above to your system is entirely up to you.

Ahhhhh, the stubby holder. More closely guarded and responsible for more jealousy than wives.

There is a further development of "Old Country" nostalgia occuring in Tasmania regarding glass terminology, i.e. it is now accepted to order a "pint" or a "half". This is especially the case when ordering Guiness, or any of the other Irish offerings. There are those of us down here who think pots and middies don't have enough in them!!

Same's true in Victoria, mainly due to the fact that almost all of the pubs now have become franchised pseudo-irish pubs. It is now difficult to find a pub called, "The Royal", or ,"The Railway", as they are all Pug Mahone's, Fanny O'Deas, Helmut O'Schmidt's, etc.
If you do find a pub with no claims at Irish heritage, guess what you find inside?
A bunch of Irish guys drinking VB.

Talikng of beer...
Over in Germany "they" are pushing Fosters as *the* Aussie beer (even tho the stuff in Germany is brewed under licence by a German brewery in Hamburg...). I personally haven't ever seen an Aussie drink Fosters. So, are there any who actually do?

We found the same thing in England - as soon as it became apparent in a pub that you were Australian, suddenly people were offering to buy you Fosters, or telling you how much they liked/diliked it. I have never drunk it as far as I am aware (though there are some nights that I can only dimly remember!), nor do I know anyone who does. Ahh ... advertising!!

As a matter of fact, quite a lot of Australians do drink Foster's, although they don't know it. Several different sources, some from CUB have told me that when they brew Foster's, they do four huge vats. The best of the four they pour into elongated brown bottles and call it 'Crown Lager'.

To the best of my (native Australian) knowledge, the only Australians who drink Fosters are (a) John Elliot, in the days when he ran Carlton & United Breweries and (b) ex-pat Australians overseas, who get maudlin and convince themselves that for a taste of home they must drink that bloody awful stuff in the 25oz. "oil barrels". Much the same way that Mexicans may embrace Corona whilst overseas while spurning it when at home.

How to drink in Oz when your not actually in Oz.....

First of all let me say that the best Australian Beers makers are Coopers. And the best place to drink a Coopers Sparkling Ale from the tap is on Rundle street in the East End of Adelaide at either the Austral Hotel or the Exeter Hotel.

Now if you can't get to Adelaide to drink a Coopers you can brew your own. That's right apparently Cooper are one of the world leading home brew makers. So all you need to do is buy a brew kit (alot cheeper than an airfare), then follow the instructions carefully to make a good brew. It takes a few weeks to ferment so do it in preparation of summer or a time when the sun shines in whichever part of the world you are in.

Once it has brewed and is ready to drink get some deck chairs and some mates. Sit out in the sun, put the freshly brewed beer in an esky full of ice and sit back relax. Oh and don't forget to throw some meat on a BBQ, or if your vegetarian maybe fry some potatoes......

Enjoy Coopers

I Kid you not. Paul Mercurio came into my pub for a week and I shouted him a few Coopers Sparklings. The day before he left he said that he was going to Adelaide to launch a new beer, Coopers Vintage, and that he would persuade the family to send me a case. Not only DON'T I receive a case of the beer, but I don't order any because I figure I've got a case coming in free. Next thing I hear about it is that it's selling for $600 a case, and will be a better investment than Grange. And then there's the Duff debacle...

Ha Ha Ha
I have a few cans of Duff.
But I will not sell....... unless you name the right price
Last I heard one can sold for $400

Wow and to think a friend and I drank a whole carton when it was released. Idiots.....
Crap Beer, I've heard that it is only West End Draught in a Duff can.
Looks good on the shelf though........

Or in the fish tank...

Coopers does indeed make the best home-brew mix there is, which can be made even better if fermented on liquid malt rather than sugar. And it ends up only being about 60c per longneck. You can drink till ... etc

Another Homebrew trick - Try honey instead of sugar.......

Here in Scotland, the Ads tell us that Castlemaine XXXX is the best-loved beer in Australia. Personally, I think all Lager tastes like shit. Newcastle Exhibition is the best beer I've ever tasted! (A sort of golden, stronger version of Newcastle Brown Ale, only available on draught...)

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For the serious drinker in NSW who is travelling on a budjet the best place to get seriously drunk is your local RSL (Returned Servicemens League) Club.They can be found in most country towns and the suburbs in the city.You dont have to be a member to be admitted, and there are no dress regulations.The price of beer is usually $2 a schooner.If you ask for a shandy make sure you say its for your girl friend/mother or you may be asked to leave.Also don't mention the war.

Random thought:
You know you've been drinking in Oz too long when you wake up next to a Munchkin

LOTS of honey - for a higher % of alcohol

I don't know any Australian who has ever drunk Fosters - ever. I think it is the same with the New Zealand Beer, Steinlager which is exported as the "NZ beer" but nobody there drinks it.