h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hasten to avoid wading through the backlog that has accumulated like a mudflat since my last visit. Three weeks already? My, how time flies when one is having something or other, surely not fun. It's all here evidently.

So consequently, I won't belabor anyone to give me a quick synopsis detailing the relationships between Newtonian physics, the metric system, journalists and what's wrong with Americans. I trust there are no relationships that could be defined by a single Lagrangian formula in any event. Therefore, reduction of the data is quite problematic at best.

That said, I'll cut promptly to the chase, since I've already squandered two paragraphs on needless drivel.

Regarding Nbcdnzr.. et cetera if there is any.. 's question: I suspect Americans are very aware of the recent hostile takeover of the United States by the corporations because it's not very recent for one thing.

America was founded by corporations chartered by the British Crown. Therefore, all the lipservice paid to democratic ideals is just corporate PR spin if you will. And please do if you're so inclined.

Now, the other problem, which is of more recent origin, is Barbara Bush's very longstanding chronic postpartum depression. The reason that is a problem is because it might be similar to the problem most Americans face everyday, that being depression brought on by chronic stupidity.

Don't get me wrong. Most Americans are proud of their stupidity, indeed they glorify in it, even awarding Tom Hanks the academy award for best portrayel of a moron in a starring role. Unfortunately, Mr. Hanks missed out on portraying George W. Bush, the reallife rendition of Forrest Gump backed up by organized crime, because Mr. Bush portrays himself and the reason for Barbara's postpartum depression quite well.

Now one of the hallmarks of depression, postpartum or otherwise, is a certain inertia, going back to Mr. Newton again, in terms of taking construction action after due deliberation. It's plain to see then that most Americans most probably suffer from some sort of depression about being stupid and do absolutely nothing about it.

This might have been predicted by chaos theory simply because those enamored of Newton consistently fail to predict anything more complex than the path of a billiard ball owing to Mr. Newton's belief that the universe consisted of nothing else, except perhaps apples. This resulted in roughly two centuries of intellectual inertia, which you might round off at 2.47 if you like. But it seemed to work well enough for those not interested in doing very much, preferring to direct hirelings in the tasks, as was appropriate to their stations in life as they perceived them.

Chaos theory, for those who tuned in late, was actually developed by people enamored with quantum physics not social science, except for economists who will try anything that appears to befuddle consumers or taxpayers. It explains, among other things, why discussions like this tend to drift into roughly total irrelevance sooner or later, rather as a dripping faucet tends to turn into a chaotic stream sooner or later if someone doesn't change the gaskets.

However, we need to get back on topic, which in this case relates to depression, both psychological and economic.

Americans are depressed and have been for a very long time. In the past they couldn't relieve the economic depression for much longer than 0.57 generations, which could be denoted as the constant of boom and bust. Likewise, the same number might apply to estimating the recursively redundant appearance of depression in one's offspring. Depression results in economic and psychological stagnation, in the latter case most notably in a decline in overall coping skills.

Therefore, QED, Americans do nothing about corporate piracy because they're too depressed to do anything about anything except what can be accomplished now with a computer program, where recursively redundant tasks can be accomplished much faster than before. This means they can do nothing now with sustantially more dispatch than even dreamed of 0.57 generations ago.

I hope this treatise has, however chaotically, defined the problem, if not the solution, with 0.57 units of rigor, being close enough.

Thanks for your attention, unless you're American, in which case I thank you for serenading the rest of the class with your snoring. The medication appears to working and that's a good thing isn't it?

Your homework assignment should be noted in your notes and if not, please feel free to contact me during my regular office hours which aren't posted because they're a secret only to be divulged to bonofide, independent counsels appointed by the Justice Department. National Security takes precedence I'm afraid.

Good day and we hope to see you soon.

No system is perfect Upsi (is your last name Daisy?). No one is attacking Capitalism here, just the current mores and ways of the people and government of the most capitalistic nation on earth.

If you want to debate the good and bad about the system- have a look at:

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2400/capsnfs.html

And start a thread to that end.

Have you read the backlog here? OMHO, I get the feeling you shot your mouth off and now are trying to find a way to justify your words.

Steve, aren't you putting a solid gold, precious stone encrusted, Heisenberg frame around chaos?

Well Steve I have to guess that you classified, and perhaps qualified as a humanty person. I am sure Zoomer will vouch for my total ignorance in your field.

Us Newtonian cpitalists I struggle with your fancy language. BUT I have to amit some ot these stances are in big demand and pay well.
See "Corporate whoredom" elsewhwew on site.

Trust me, Oetz and Zoomer, no intelligent capitalist, of Newtonian or Darwinian persuasion, would hire me as a whore or an accountant. That's because I don't believe in capital or Adam Smith. Sorry.

Regarding Heisenberg, he simply asserted that the momentum and location of an electron can't be determined simultaneously, hardly a complex insight, but it seemed to escape some of the best minds of his generation.

I see that might still be problem.

Talking in generalisations is easy, all the countries in the world have people in them that are idiots in some form or another.it is not only an English or american affliction. Generalisations do not carry a debate forward at all. they are just a whole load of moaning.

I would think most people do not hate American people as such but instead look at their government and their interesting attempts at international relations and see the people as arrogant short sighted and seriously lacking in knowledge .........because the government has been. the government represents the people. I wonder if when Bill Clinton was in if there was so much anti Americanism or did people instead start to think all american slept around and did strange things with cigars.

I bet a lot of people see the French in the same way - protectionist government = snobby people.

As for English being one of the most spoken langauge in the world, well the United Kingdom has been the most commerically successful country in the world until the last hundred years, only to be replaced by the USA which - oops also speaks English. Get over it. Live with it cos it isn't going to change any time soon.

Didn't Einstein call it that spooky electron thing (no I can't remember the quote exactly)

Steve, your previous post was a good laugh. Much needed, this dark rainy morning.

Right you are, apparently I was confusing it with a quantum mechanical phenomenon known as wavefunction collapse but I meant the *uncertainty* part.

"I bet a lot of people see the French in the same way - protectionist government = snobby people."

Hmmm, the US government is protectionist. Do I have to dig up news stories of the last time Bush raised steel tarrifs to protect the US steel industry.

Tough one for me to comment on. We do have NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) but the tariffs they put on our softwood are brutal right now, and they are fighting it tooth and nail even though every ruling so far is against them.

Part of that is the problem with capitalism- it isn't really. I mean Capitalism doesn't exist in it's true form any more than Communism did or does.

Regarding the French....

I can't say whether their government is protectionsist or not, and most French people couldn't have an opinion either. The French change governments more often that Celine Dion changes dresses.

As for snobby? Not a chance. I have always found the French to be as nice as anyone. What they dislike is people who insist on speaking English really loud, in hopes that that will make them better understood. They have also had it up to the gills with people who make fun of them.

New Yorkers have a reputation of being not just unfriendly, but downright rude. I found this to be quite false. As a matter of fact, while I was there, there was a study done to see if there was any truth to the reputation. Ask any New Yorker and they, themselves believe it to be true. In fact, the study found New Yorkers to be as friendly and helpful as people in other cities.

What I did find was that New Yorkers are harder to get to know well as people and to make friends with, but in my day-to-day encounters, I found New Yorkers to be as friendly as the people I met in Paris.

The fact is that people are people whether in Paris, France or Paris, Texas.

"Part of that is the problem with capitalism- it isn't really. I mean Capitalism doesn't exist in it's true form any more than Communism did or does."

Free trade also doesn't exist and is part of the reason there is protest everywhere the WTO meets. Protesters are dismissed and their views are ignored for something else that's more comfortable for the media. Small nations have their markets forced open while large nations keep theirs closed and screw them over. All you have to do is look at Africa.

Really, all you have to look at is the EU. The smaller countries are getting hosed (to use a Canadian expression...), just like in NAFTA. I aplaud the Scandanavian countries who are justifiably having second thoughts. Free trade is the feral side of capitalism, like social democracies are the civilized side. Trying to mix them is madness.

> I would think most people do not hate American people as such but instead look at their government and their interesting attempts at international relations and see the people as arrogant, short sighted and seriously lacking in knowledge .........because the government has been.

That's very true. The most common viewpoint I've heard is that since the Americans vote for their government, the American people are to blame whenever the government does something horribly wrong. This, of course, is a little unreasonable, but its logical.

> I wonder if when Bill Clinton was in if there was so much anti Americanism or did people instead start to think all american slept around and did strange things with cigars.

Actually, the entire world was marveling at how much of a big deal was made of the President getting a little presidential nookie. It made the Republicans look like a bunch of prudes. Which they are, but that's a different ball of wax.

I have to say that all I know of New York comes from the TV show Friends, and 'the Late Show with David Letterman'!
But I had a French boyfriend until recently - and a French swoonment (definition supplied upon request) back in the 1980s. They were nothing alike, any more than any of the Krauts I Have Known... so I don't generalise. (Except about Americans,

You tell 'em Della! North America would not be where it is today without your kind. I just love a bit of feminine input. Della make no mistake women have made significant inroads to the top jobs over here.

Please chip in more often.

Hi Oetzi,

did the BBC really give 20k to the labour party? Thats outrageous if its true, but if they did atleast they have redeemed themselves with the way they stood up to Campbell and Blair over the Dr. Kelly affair.

I was really peed off with the bbc over the way they censored this site during the "The war for Oil Episode II", but you see a spirited defence of Gilligans over anxious attempt to create a big headline like they put up in the Hutton enquiry and it gives you hope that they are and will stay as independent forever.



I havent read all the backlog but I must say the way I feel it works for other people and know that it works for me is:

You meet a nice french person and you've met Jaques or whoever
You meet an unpleasant one and he or she is a typical frog

Ive had people tell me Im alright for a black bloke

Watching American portrayals of the British on film and on telly most are wildly inaccurate but I do recognise them as close enough if you didnt know any better. In the same way as a man on his hands and knees bares little relation to a dog, but all he needs to do to makes us recognise his portrayal is bark and mime peeing up a lampost. My dogs have many more facets to their behaviour but we are so lazy that we only look at a few points to get our references.

The whole idea that there is anything wrong with Americans must come from the idea that there is something RIGHT to compare it to in another culture. This may well be true in some cases, but more often than not people decide that what they do is right simply because that is what they are used to.

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/balls.htm

The exerpt about litigation is a good example of what we British see as wrong about American Culture while the writer sees it as great. Whos to say?

Hm, lots of posts since my last. I'll comment on the free trade/WTO thing 'cos by a freak accident (or is it chaos), I just had a lecture on that this morning. The lecturer, who's the research manager at the world bank told, amongst other things, this story:

In the Cancun round some west-African countries made a serious request for the US to lower it's cotton subsidies. These African countries had invested in cotton over the last years, generating a comparative advantage in producing cotton. At the same time the US raises it's cotton subsidies to a high of 3 bilion a year (for 25,000 producers) While in Africa there are 11 milion producers to gain from that. When you know people in those countries often make 1 or 2 dollars a day, 3 bilion represents almost a year salary for those people. Instead of being reasonable, the US doesn't even consider lowering their subsidies. Instead they tried to buy them off with some humanitarian aid, only to make sure nobody died. Next these people proposed to cut the aid in those countries concerning hospitals and schools and such, and put the money into developing industries other than cotton. This is scandalous of course, because of economic and humanitary reasons. In some areas very little has changed in the way developing countries are treated by the richer ones since colonial days.

Not that America is the only one doing this type of thing though.

Yeah Blick the corps did that and I just can't get over it. I'll tell you that our host is not as squeaky clean as it likes folks to think it is. A lot of people have plenty to be upset about. They just ain't been grafting Blick, and if the press does'nt graft then democracy becomes a joke.

The fact is Blick they are, I believe, going to loose the license through incompetent management. Even this site is being used as a tool, not for the benefit of us or the BBC, but for the benefit of those in the BBC who need friends in the US. Friends who may be useful for future work.

Generalisations oh yes, to whom? To you as a black, to me as a white or to both of us when we drive a big new Merc.? Don't ask me about Brit culture 'cause I don't understand it. Too many nods, winks and prejudice for me, must be something to do with being a small island I guess. The Scots I have a clear communication with, but boy or boy, do I get in some tangles further south!

Thats why I like the States. It is the mix of people, it's like me a mix. I'm human that's all.

Crikey those gated estates I see on the news and steadfastly segregationist institutions I read about in america must be just a fiction then.

The UK is going the way of the US but because our population is smaller we dont get so many "white" or "black" towns or districts yet the definitions between Pakistani, White, Black, or whatever streets and areas is becoming starker.

I like Scotland too they have a warm welcome for anyone American, black as long as you're not English.

Sat in a pub once listen to a couple of hookter chooters singing about slaying sasanachs Completely oblivious to the English man clapping along. Also completely oblivious that take away the pipes and kilt change the accent a bit and theres no difference between them and any other Brit.