h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I read this the other day:-

http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20170427-why-do

And it set me thinking. The BBC are using the word 'poo'. The other alternative acceptable word for the BBC would have been 'defecation'.

Poo seems a bit childish.

Defecation seems a little formal.

Is there a word somewhere between this that the BBC could have used?

PP.

Well, this will be a sy discussion.


But seriously, I would think "faeces" for the substance, and "bowel movement" are perfectly acceptable without being overly clinical.

Those of us who are old and living in Scotland are sent a bowel cancer screening kit every two years... with instructions... it describes what we have to do with our motions but it always includes "poo" in brackets after so that we know what it's talking about

Americans don't say "poo" that often. "Poop" and "poo-poo" are probably more common, and typically used with children.

There's a line in the film "1941" where Slim Pickens says "You ain't gettin' outta me"

"This has not been honorable..." - Toshiro Mifune

That article generally sticks to more scientifically descriptive nomenclature (although one 'poop-related' creeps in). It's the BBC title which uses the childish phrasal verb 'doing a poo'.

I agree that we don't have a generally acceptable alternative - the act appears still to be taboo even today.


I just looked up some alternative verbs from the OED's historical thesaurus:

to do one's filthhead (1300)

to go to siege (1400)

cack (1436)

to cover his feet (1535)

to exonerate nature (1542)

excrementize (1670)

to do whoopsies (1973) - whoopsie is first recorded in the scripts for the sitcom 'Some Mothers Do Ave Em


Icy

I'm surprised no-one's suggested 'stool', although it is usually used in a medical context.

I wish the -owners nearby would stop distributing footstools…

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~ ~ Number 2 ~ ? . .

Stool has been used as a verb in the past (first recorded 1545), but I agree that it's the most scientific noun form.

They use No 1 and No 2 regularly in cryptic crosswords - it's a very easy phrase to disguise within a clue.

I saw a kids BBC documentary about the sewage system and water reclamation when I was a child that referred to it as 'plop'.

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Would you believe 'plop' isn't in the OED in this sense? It must be considered too slangy.

Of course there's soil, as in used 'night soil' or 'they soiled themselves'.

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Well, in zoological circles the products of defecation are referred to as scats. I have a herpetological friend who tells me that "politicians specialise in bovine scatology".

Of course, if anyone is particularly interested, the Isle of Wight is the home of the National Poo Museum: https://www.poomuseum.org

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In musical circles, there's scat singing. So scat can be highly cultured.

Does that mean that being called 'scatterbrain' is the same as being called 'sht for brains'

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Adds a new dimension to harvest festivals:

"We plough the fields and scatter..."

At least they didn't say doing a number two ...

I think poo was OK in this context, for a humorous title to draw people in to read on. Be a bit dry to say 'bowel movement' or something similar.

Well, depending on one's intake beforehand...

I think I'd go with turd.It's a nice word without being too childish or too formal...