h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At interview, neither candidate seems to be able to tell you why you should employ themself but keeps telling you why you shouldn't employ the other.

Seems to be a bit of a dilemma to me.

PP.

Politicians in the making?

Are there definitely only two candidates? Perhaps there are some other lesser candidates who deserve a look but who are being completely overshadowed by the forerunners?*

Nobody is right for a job if their only demonstrable skill is putting the competition down.

Deb

* Let's ignore how well that worked out for the UK as an "employer"

Sounds like neither are suitable. You want someone who is keen, and who can work with people, not against them.

Well, you have to find someone else, or else reorganise duties within the existing staff pool. Maybe you can promote someone into it and recruit a junior replacement instead - saves money too.

Hire neither... and either go through the applicants list again, in search of, or re-advertise.... IMO there oughta be sufficient people looking for work than some of them are vaguely competant well... one hopes so

Hire either, and then, shortly, after fire or convict them and give the job to their understudy.

Damn... misplaced comma. Let's try that again (since there's no edit feature).

Hire either, and then, shortly after, fire or convict them and give the job to their understudy

Some organizations try to spot potential within the ranks and give them on-the-job training, plus incentives to further their formal education.

As an employer, hire neither. Re-advertise and go through the process again.

Well, if I were to assume that you didn't have the luxury of going through all that hassle again...

And if I were to further assume that one evil candidate was obviously so much more cartoonishly evil than the other evil candidate...

I really think this is a time to just go with the lesser of two evils.

I'd favour the Joker approach - tell them there's only one vacancy and drop a broken pool cue between them and tell them to sort it out between them.

I think they should just admit that they made a mistake 240 years ago and submit to the crown.

The crown can suck it.

Wish we'd kept the Parliamentary election process though....

I'm afraid the Constitutional Convention set a bad President.

Groan.

Nicking that.....

PP.

The U.S. doesn't have a Queen. Could we borrow yours?

Borrow? Keep her.

PP>

I'm not sure she'll obey us if we try to return her.