h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Get off the floor?? I can't even get off the sofa easily let alone try and get off the floor with or without using my hands.

I really must lose some weight by Christmas.

No problems for me. I often find myself on the floor without any assistance of hands or knees. Usually the butler and a couple of the housemaids get me into bed without any assistance from myself. On the 0-10 scale I guess that means I will live forever.

What will you do if the butler and housemaids are on leave when you find yourself on the floor?

I'm determined to master this... then go for the being able to do it, whilst hhandcuffed and with ankle restraints on... Could prove a useful trick, one day...

One of the reasons for not taking this too seriously is that, once somebody says it's an important thing to do, many people will come up with techniques for getting this one particular thing done. This is like training students to pass the standardized multiple-choice tests that get foisted on schools and students everywhere. Studnets can pass the mandatory tests, but are thewy smarter or better educated? Likewise, people can figure out how to stand from a position on the floor, but are they really more physically fit?

And if they still can't? What can they do about it anyway? The downside of exercise is that people can injure themselves trying it, and end up worse than before. It happens very day and in every part of the world.

Sometimes it's best to start slow and gradually build up your strength, taking care not to get muscle strain injuries that can take a long time to recover from. That's the reality. What's so great about pain anyhow?

Exactly...

OK... so far, if I'm sitting, on the floor, I'm sitting cross-legged.... I try to get up, so first I unwrap my crossed legs...

then I'm sort of bending backwards, whilst sitting (can't have legs out straight in front, and sit upright, never been able to do that, even as a child).

From this position, the only way I can get up, involves hands; just pure physics; without being able to bend forward, with legs out straight, I can't move the axis point, of my center of gravity....

however....

If I bend my knees, bring my legs up, towards my chest, (using arms round em), I can, sort of get more upright, but resting on my bottom....

From here... a couple of rocks back and forth, and I can throw myself foward, unbending my legs at the same time, get upright, and crash headlong into whatever is in front of me.... which was the sofa

What I need to try, is from cross legged, going to sitting on my legs; i.E., rolling my legs under me, so my feet, are kind of pointing down toes towards the floor and my bottom sitting on my ankles.... from there, I might* be able to get up, onto my knees, and ... hmmm... heh... yeh, tha tmight* work, then onto one knee, stand up on the one leg, and bring the other foward...
Taht won't work though if I've got the leg restraints on

its a bit too hot to be trying all this really!

When I was in my twenties, I could do it on one leg, standing up starting from a position curled up in a ball on the floor, making remarks as I went along, "The seed germinates." (One begins to stand.) "The tree grows." (Extending arms and one leg to represent branches.), then curling up into a ball mid air, "The seed falls." and then repeat on the other leg.

I'm quite sure I can't do that any more.

At 61, its been a long time since I was down on the floor in the first place, though into my 40s I was still standing up from a cross legged position without hands and I still do pick up small articles from the floor with my toes rather than bending for them, something I've been doing since childhood.

In passing, there's also a correlation of walking speed with longevity.

People who walk faster tend to live longer.

In my younger days (up to mid-30s) I could walk further and faster than anybody I knew (except my ex-brother-in-law, who is about 1' taller than me and extremely fit). Since my mid-30s my health had deteriorated. My walking speed is about 2mph on a good day. At my worst it was less than 1mph!

That's still good, but it doesn't hurt to train.

Sometimes I run as long as its comfortable, alternating with walking.

Ooo... I may not be good at the getting up off the floor thing, but I do still walk fast, actually, I useually find when I'm walking with someone, they're walking at a speed half what I'd prefer to walk at Not done any proper hiking for years, but try to get plenty of long walks when I'm in a suitable place to do so (I.E., not in th emiddle of the city, but out in the countryside...)

PaulH: What will you do if the butler and housemaids are on leave when you find yourself on the floor?

Obviously the under butler assists me. Do you think I am so much a snob?

As for the housemaids I have always ensured that at least fifty percent are on duty at any one time. At my age it is almost the only pleasure left to me.

Whilst I obviously make exceptions for the elderly and the infirm; normally I find slow walking and dawdling to be an unholy sin. That should be terribly, terribly punished.

This is compounded by people who walk side by side (even in threes) taking up whole of walking space and walking along slowly. Seriously no judge, no jury, just straight to execution.

FB

We seem to have crossed paths with other threads -- the one about dawdling in public places, for instance.

Not many researchers have mentioned solutions for the first part of the topic of this thread: going from a standing position to the floor without bruising some major items or using hands. is it really so easy that no one thinks to discuss it?

Problem is, it's either a) easy, or b) difficult.

And if it's b), then the solution will vary according to what makes it difficult for a given individual. A technique that makes it easier for someone with lumbago might not do much for someone who finds it difficult because of an arthritic knee, for example...

Does it count if the floor is a sheet of rubber stretched tightly in a frame? I reckon I could manage it that way.

Just out of pure curiosity,is that actually what your floor is like?

Yeah - I'm stepdad to three acrobatic cats.

Ruefully thinking of the days when I could handstand and walk on my hands,crab walk and get my feet up behind my neck..

Where did my 9yr old self go?